Aw, shit.

I've had so much I wanted to write, but I guess I got lazy or busy. Sorry.

Anyway, here's a fun way to start off a post:

The week before break, my department visited our bookroom (which has been my domain for the last two years). There was a strange....parcel, shall we say, near the door. I knelt down, poked at the safe area of the paper surrounding it, and sure enough...


FECES.


On the floor. In front of the door. In the OFF-LIMITS stairwell.

Holy shit. (HA!)

I calmly told the other teachers we would not be going into the room and pointed out the little gift. They were appropriately disgusted and shocked.

The custodians were told and removed the pile in the next couple days.

I thought it was over, being a new part of the bodily-fluids stories I've got for that nasty room (urine, mouse droppings, and condom wrappers). I returned to the book room today to get some things out and return others.

Things previously piled neatly were now knocked over and strewn about. The floor was now almost completely not clear, where previously it had been cluttered with piles and stacks but otherwise open. When I went to step down into the second room, I was stopped by a very strong stench of, you know it, more feces. Very strong.

A few minutes later I went to open the cabinet where I have some gloves and masks, but was stopped by the smell. Then I noticed the brown smears all over the doors and reeled back.

Good god, people. How is this possible? My brain just doesn't grasp the reality of this situation because it is so utterly unreal and ridiculous. I alerted the principal, giving a list of cleaning supplies needed. I didn't specify that I'd be willing to do anything about it, but jesus, something needs to be done. Maybe now people will listen to me about keeping the damn door securely locked. (The latch has been torn from the doorjamb, rendering the still-clasped padlock a joke)

Sigh. You probably thought the title was metaphorical, didn't you? Joke's on you. And the rest of us.