Hello, we're here

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Hey there readerfriends!

On the off chance that you're seeing this, you probably subscribed to my silly blog via a reader like Google Reader. Since that is going away this summer (grrr) I have to get used to another service (grrr). I'm trying both BlogLovin and Feedly. They're okay, but I'm still actually using Google Reader for now, shh, don't tell.

I do plan to keep this blog up...I'm not sure what kinds of things I'll post in the future, but I like having a more 'secret' space available.

Please make sure to follow my blog on your new feed reader! Bloglovin link is above. 

To make it worth your while, here are some photos that aren't yet available anywhere else! :D

 

 (preview of our new living room plus baby carnival)

 

 

 Shoes! 

 

A challenge for those who have been paying attention: can you tell which freshly-bathed baby is which? 

 

Babies!

I realized that I never posted over here that the twins did arrive! I had a c-section on November 21, there were no complications, and both babies looked great: Emmett (Baby A) on the left, and Malcolm (Baby B) on the right:

Today they're two weeks old and doing well. They are super cute and we love to snuggle them. They sleep pretty well so far, so we'll keep them. :)

32.5 weeks

Dear A and B,

First of all, sorry that we refer to you as letters. Also as fruit sometimes (thanks to those weekly emails that compare your size to produce). We do have names tentatively picked for you, but we're not sharing those with anyone else. And really, calling you by actual person names is a little intimidating just yet.

Anyway, I wanted to tell you that so far you are both A+ babies! First that you grew a lot between our last ultrasounds--over a pound each! At 31 weeks, A, you weighed 3lbs 4oz, and B, you were at 4lbs 2oz. The doctors are watching to make sure that your size discrepancy doesn't widen. We're doing weekly non-stress tests, where we track your heartbeats, and those have been great. We're also doing weekly biophysical profiles, where they look for movement and practice breathing. You have both passed those 'tests' with flying colors! We are very proud of your achievements. :)

Personally, I'm loving all this testing and monitoring. One of you is always quieter than the other, which causes me to worry. While we were on our road trip, A, you were really quiet, and B, you were having roller disco parties or something. For the last couple weeks, A, you've been super active, and B, you've been quieter. So getting to listen or see you twice a week makes me feel so much better that everything is going well!

A, you're still head down, but B, you keep switching. Two ultrasounds ago, you started out head down but had moved to transverse halfway through the exam! At the BPP the other day, you were breech. Seems like there's still time for you to keep moving/rotating for awhile. Both of you like to rotate your butts out so they bulge out my belly. Often you'll do that at the same time and my round tummy becomes almost a square! B, you've gotten the hiccups a couple times, and I can actually see the little blips as well as feel them on the inside.

My belly seems to still be growing, though I'm still not very big compared to what I thought I would be. Partly because it feels like you're growing upwards instead of outward, so I'm not as far out front as I figured I'd be. But people tell me that there's still time for major growth, so I guess we'll see. I do get comments from strangers about how big I am (PS--please don't do that when you grow up), but I know I could be so much bigger, so I just smile a little and try not to roll my eyes too obviously.

It seems like you two can see and interact with each other in utero, which is pretty fascinating. There have been a couple times where I could swear that I feel you kicking each other. I tend to think of the membrane separating you as a wall, but apparently it's more like a window. We plan to keep you together in a bassinet or crib once you're on the outside, so that you'll continue to be near each other and feel more comfortable.

Daddy likes to talk to you, and he always announces himself: "Hello, this is your father." He wants to make sure you know his voice once you're on the outside. When he feels one of you slithering around in my belly, sometimes he's weirded out, because it feels so alien. We can't yet feel or determine which parts of you are moving in there. Maybe that will become more obvious as you continue to get bigger.


We like to think about interesting things we can do with you. Like on weekend days, we could take each of you to a special outing, like a basketball game or bike ride with Daddy, and a picnic or a street fair with me. We want to take you to explore the coast to wade in the ocean, and roam in the mountains. We'll take you to pick pumpkins and apples in the fall, and then we'll bake treats together. In the summer, we'll get a kiddie pool and splash around on the front lawn. Ooh, and run through the sprinkler!

Before we get to all that fun stuff, though, you need to keep growing on the inside. My doctor did a protein test this week and found that you're not likely to come early, or at least in the next two weeks. Phew! So far I still am not having any complications, so we're hoping not to meet you for another five plus weeks. That way you'll be as healthy as possible, and we'll feel a little more ready to finally meet you. :)


This week we're getting your room organized and ready, just in case. Soon we're going to have to buy a new (used) car with plenty of space for all the gear that we'll need for you. We need to line up a pediatrician for you. The other weekend we took a newborn care class and learned about basics for keeping you happy and comfortable--we hope we can swaddle you effectively while you're squirming around!

Everything is going to change here pretty soon. (Hopefully not very soon--stay in there for awhile longer please!) We're definitely nervous, because it's all going to be so new and different, and tiring too. But we're also looking forward to meeting you and holding you and showing you the world.

Love,
Mommy

pregnant products

I wanted to share a round-up of things I've found useful, interesting, or not at all helpful while on this pregnancy journey. It got kind of long with all the pics, so be aware. :)

Trofolastin

This is a stretch-mark cream that allegedly has scientific studies backing up its effectivity. I heard about it on a blog and ordered some. I think I got some on Amazon, but it's not there anymore. I saw a link to this Spanish site. I only use it once a day--not sure if it's supposed to be twice. I haven't seen any stretch marks yet, but I know that genetics and maybe luck plays a big part. However, I also put it on my upper outer thighs, on my high-school stretch marks, and I swear the skin there feels much smoother, softer, and the marks are much less visible. I should probably order another tube!





The Pregnant Body

I also heard about this book on a blog, and it is one of the coolest things I've seen! It's a big hardcover book that's part textbook, part coffee table book (if anatomy is something you like having on your coffee table). There are photos of a female body with the fetus for each month, and they're almost life-size. In between are lots of scientific drawings, photos/images, and facts about what's developing each week or month. Completely, totally fascinating, and I would recommend this for any pregnant person and their partner.







Body Pillow

For at least ten years, my bed has been a nest that includes lots of extra pillows or stuffed friends. I sleep on the side a lot, and I noticed that my knees/hips/back would hurt a lot, but that a pillow between my knees eliminated all of that. Being pregnant is a great excuse for this, and it's even more necessary and comfortable to have pillows surrounding me. The body pillow is for my legs/knees/feet (yes, I like all of them to be cushioned/elevated, even if I'm on my back), and then I have pillows etc on both sides of me. My body pillow is one I found at Costco that's soft but not too thin/squishy (photo is a random body  pillow from macys.com).


Belly band: 

I got one at Target early in the summer when my trousers were getting a little tight. I used it a couple times but it was annoying, because I was in that in-between stage of not exactly needing it but not exactly able to go without. For the rest of the summer I wore skirts and dresses, which was way more comfortable and easy.

And then! I figured out the most awesome thing, and this is my best secret advice: I use the belly band as a tube top! Just for sitting around the house and sleeping. It's so much better than any bra-type thing--I hate straps! 





Books: Mostly I was interested in reading about twins, so all of these may not be helpful or applicable for singleton-pregnant ladies.


What To Expect When You're Expecting:


I wasn't going to read this because I'd heard it was annoying. I found a previous edition at a thrift shop and then someone gifted me the newer one. I've read most of it in parts, and while it's not the most annoying book of the bunch, it's definitely not one of my favorites. Partly because it's organized so terribly. In that it's not organized at all. You don't need to read this.









Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy

Got this one as a gift as well, but I haven't even opened it. Oops. I'm sure it's better and more scientific than What To Expect.















When You're Expecting Twins, Triplets or Quads

This was the first twins book I read, and it's always on everyone's recommended-reading list for expectant twin mamas. I rather HATED this book. First of all, it reads like it's freaking Cosmo magazine, with the way anecdotes are written. Second, it's written by this doctor who directs a program, and the entire thing is all about her own method and how amazing and successful it is. Which I guess is her right, seeing as how it's her book and all, but after awhile I realized how very un-objective it is. Third, a huge chunk of the book is about food/eating/nutrition. She says straight out that even if you're a vegetarian, you should really eat meat or at least eggs while you're pregnant. I am very vegetarian, not for moral reasons or anything preachy, but I've been a weird/nonmeat eater for literally most of my life. Even if I wanted to suddenly eat fish and chicken for the health of the fetuses, after never having them for at least thirty years, I can't imagine that my body would react well. She goes on to include sample menus and daily lists of food, and it's actually laughable how much it is. Like, it takes two pages of the book to list out everything you should eat in ONE DAY. And I don't doubt that she's right and that it's a good idea...it just doesn't seem terribly realistic.


Twins 101

We listened to this one in the car during our road trip. Mister Melancholy doesn't read as often as I do, but when he does, he reads a lot of intellectual magazines or nonfiction (like that brick of an LBJ biography that came out this year). I've wanted him to read some of the advice-type books that I read (below) so that he would have the same frame of reference and so that I wouldn't have to explain everything to him. He reluctantly read parts of them, but agreed that he should read more, and an audiobook while a captive audience driving through the emptiness that is most of Wyoming was a good match. Some of the "tips" are pretty silly ("Write loving thoughts in your pregnancy journal!" "Get a private room at the hospital!"), but some were thought-provoking and helpful. In particular, she has a list of good twin baby products and websites. (Of course, that's the downside of an audio book--we have to either track down a PDF that came with it or see if we can find that section to listen to again and take notes.)

Twinspiration

This was a fun book to read, because it's more about experience and what happens after two babies arrive. She is always very clear about sharing what they did and what worked for them, and acknowledges that that may not work for everyone, and she doesn't come across judgmental at all. This book gets really into the nitty-gritty of everyday life with twin babies--talks about schedules, daily duties (diapers, bottles, keeping charts of those), options for night feedings, etc. I really appreciate the specifics--I think that's so helpful. Also, there was a chapter on gear--what you need two of and what you only need one of. Again, really helpful for that kind of specificity.



Ready Or Not

A mama of twin one-year-olds lent me this one this summer. It's very similar to the book above, in that it chronicles this woman's family's experience and suggestions. It's not organized very well at all, but it was still helpful to read about her experience and advice. This one also has suggestions and advice about gear, and it was a little different than the other one.

(Truthfully, I should probably read both of these again in the next couple months and take some notes or something--I've already forgotten a lot of the helpful information!)





Clothes: 
Obviously regular yoga pants lasted a long time in the clothing rotation. My long ones got too tight under my belly, but I have some softer, knee-length ones that are still comfy.

Also, I found several of these convertible skirt/dresses. You can fold over the top to make it a skirt. They're really soft and swingy, and I can still wear them even now (and obviously they can be worn very comfortably without being pregnant too!). I found all three of mine at Marshall's for ten or fifteen dollars. (Here's one I'm wearing as a dress--you can see how the green part can be folded/scrunched to be a skirt top.)

The first maternity clothes I bought were really early on; I got a few tops and a dress from the Liz Lange Maternity Target line. They looked good before I started showing, and they still look good.

Then in mid-July I got a big pile of on-sale maternity clothes at Old Navy during one of their sales/open a credit line and save extra deals. Normally I would never do that, but I got like eight things for under eighty bucks. Honestly, I never shop at Old Navy anyway, because it's so cheap. But if there's ever a time for cheap clothes, it's being pregnant for a season or two! I got a few shirts, two dresses, and a pair of jeans. (Aw look at my little tummy!)

Those jeans were not at all comfortable--the panel wasn't as soft as I would have liked, and it would actually fall down, and then the jeans would sag. I felt like I needed a belt to hold the stupid jeans up. I posted about my dilemma on facebook, and a friend recommended Destination Maternity. 


First I bought these jeans because they don't have a belly panel and they look cute. I ordered the large and the button in front just barely closed, but they were still too big and baggy. I went into one of the stores and tried on the medium, but the button would not close. Bummer.













Then the salesgirl brought me these jeans (or something similar!) and said they're a best-seller and promised they'd be comfortable. I tried them on and they felt much better than the Old Navy jeans--they were lighter and they definitely stayed up a little better. Plus the panel is softer and stays up nicer. I've happily worn these jeans all day on multiple occasions. And while I definitely have to tug them up at times, overall they're very comfortable. I don't think I'll be wearing the Old Navy ones ever again (must remember to put those in a consign pile).












These drawstring sweats-type pants are fantastic. I'm wearing them right now. Soft, comfy, perfect for lounging.







Lastly, I went to a baby/kid consignment sale last month and got a pile of warmer maternity tops/sweaters. That is definitely the way to go! That one was the Just Between Friends Sale and it happens twice a year in many locations around the country. There have been a handful of other large, organized consignment around Portland this fall too. Which makes me happy, because in a few months I'll have a way to get my used maternity/baby things out to someone else who needs them at a great price.

it grows

This is me at 19 weeks compared to 9 weeks (ie, nothing). It's really starting to show! Last week two different people asked about it. It's really obvious here, in something tight, and especially if you knew what I looked like before. I've been wearing a lot of dresses, and some of them sort of camouflage or downplay any belly, and at least one of them makes it pretty obvious. I guess from now on I'll need to be ready for more comments from strangers.

It's also strange that I can see the roundness from the front (just as bare belly). My belly button has been getting shallower for weeks now too, so the whole thing looks different. My whole abdomen feels firm, instead of just where my uterus is; I didn't expect that. And it's definitely firmer to the touch after I've eaten.

Last week I decided to keep track of my growth (too bad I didn't from the beginning!), so here's what's happened so far.

Before measurements:
Chest: 34" or so
Waist: 30"
Hips: 38"
Weight: 148 or so

19 weeks measurements:
Chest: 40"
"Waist": 33"
Belly button circumference: 37"
Widest part of belly: 38 1/2"
Hips: 40"
Weight: 160

The belly button measurement hasn't changed from last week, but in comparing the photos, there's a noticeable difference, in the fullness.

I'm now comfortable saying that I'm feeling movement. There's a fishy kind of swimmy feeling that I've sensed for a few weeks now, so I think that really is it. Tonight they must have been doing a bunch of somersaults, because it felt like things were rolling over and over in there. They are both about 6 inches long now, so I guess it's not surprising that I can feel two of them moving around.

When I visited the doctor two weeks ago, she said I was measuring at 20 weeks (while I was at 17), so I'm not too much bigger than a singleton would be. I think overall I'm carrying on the small side (for twins, obviously! the twin standard is singleton + 7 weeks). It's crazy to think how much will continue to grow and change for four more months!

believing

We have assorted ultrasound photos tacked to the fridge, along with the most recent referral form, which says at the bottom, "twin gestation".  So most of the time that I do something in the kitchen, my eyes fall on one or some of these items, and whoa.

Pregnant.

Twins.

I'm four and a half months through this thing--halfway, considering that full term for twins is 37 weeks instead of 40--and it still hits me occasionally. The magnitude of the whole thing. The alienness of having new life bumbling around inside, and that there are two of them! TWO. OF. THEM.

We are very lucky in that we get to see at least a quick sonogram at every OB visit. (We go to an office/hospital a couple blocks away, and since Mister Melancholy also works nearby, he can and does come to all the appointments with me.) With a singleton, the OB can use an instrument to just hear the heartbeat to make sure everything is still kicking. But with more than one, you can't pick out discrete beats audibly, so she does a quick sonogram to check visually.

We had an appointment last week, and we saw one of the aliens swallow, and the other alien was having a full-on party, dancing or playing the drums or something. I could see not just the bones, but the lighter gray tissue of its actual limbs all moving around.

GOOD LORD THERE ARE TWO ACTUAL MINIATURE PEOPLE IN THERE.

 It is just so weird. So weird!

And that makes me feel odd. It seems like most pregnancy things I read (and I've definitely been doing my share of reading) talk about their delight and love and feeling all beautiful Mother Earth Goddessy.

This whole thing has been such a surprise that I often feel like it just hasn't sunk in, still. Maybe it's partly because I still occasionally have trouble believing that I'm a grown-up. Maybe it's partly because it hasn't been so physical on the outside (YET), so it's less real because I can't see it. (That is beginning to change--the seeing part, I mean.) Or maybe it's because I was never one of those people who always knew she wanted to be a mother from the age of whatever. (Remember that I helped care for my two much younger siblings, so babies are not exactly mysterious beautiful things for me.)  I'm not sure what it says about me and my future parenting potential if I'm not beaming beatifically all the time at my belly and at the world. Does it mean that since it's so hard to believe this is actually happening, I won't be good at it?

I already worry about these aliens, insomuch as what I am or am not doing for them. Am I cooking them appropriately? Since I don't eat meat or eggs or fish am I doing something bad for their development? Are the vitamins really enough of a substitute? Will they come out okay? (For the record, the first round of chromosomal testing came through all clear. Second round results in a couple weeks.)

I'm a little protective too. I already hate, loathe, abhor cigarette smoke and I wish it would be banned from any kind of public open space. And now that I'm carrying some innocent life that's still building itself, I find that I hate having to walk by smokers even more for polluting the air, my air, the aliens' air.

So at least I'm already looking out for what's best for them. That's good, right?

oh yeah...

 (we got a new toaster oven!) 

 (two by two)

and if it's not clear yet...