Sunday, October 12, 2008

Friday Night Parties

For the young and energetic, anyway.

For old fuddy-duddies like me, Fridays are for peace and quiet.

I left school at four, which was a first, and lo, it was AWESOME. I had so much time left in the day! I ran to the pharmacy, then to do laundry. The laundromat was nearly empty (where I chose to read old trashy magazines instead of the pile of 'smarter' magazines I'd brought with me), talk about big fun on Friday night. The BF and I had dinner at a tiny Mexican place we'd been with teacher blogger friends a couple years ago, before we were together, then watched tv.


On another, random note, I have finally joined the twenty-first century, with a blog reader. Ms M was shocked to learn a couple months ago that I actually click on links in my favorites to read blogs. My argument was/is that it's more personal and like a happy surprise when there are new posts. However, she was so right about it being so much easier! All the blogs right there, counted up and tallied, just waiting to be read right there in the window. That window does remove all the color--both literal and personality--from the writing, and some of the fun too. Not like it matters right now anyway, since I have so little time to read blogs (or, clearly, to write clever posts on my own stupid blog).


I've never been one to have a lot of friends, and I've not had any everyday friends at all in a really long time. I haven't made any real friends at my new school, and I haven't kept in touch with my old school buddies (the good ones moved away and the other ones, whom I really liked, I never really saw outside of school, so it's not a surprise). I'm pretty sure my colleagues don't like or respect me much...and I totally don't blame them. I don't like or respect myself much either. I am always stuck in my classroom, because there's nowhere else to go where I can comfortably sit and do work without hauling a bunch of stuff, so I just stay at my desk. No one comes in to chat, and I don't go visit people to chat. So it's possibly partly my fault also.

Anyway, I know that people have become worried about me, people that I don't see often or even people I don't know in real life. I appreciate this, which perhaps is strange. But I'm always surprised to know that someone cares, so thank you to those of you that have reached out or asked me how I'm doing. I have also been worried about me, actually. The week ended okay, sort of.

I don't have a social life. I've never been a very social person; I'm actually rather introverted and shy at heart. (I think at times I overcompensate and come off like a jackass, so I apologize to anyone that's been annoyed or offended by me--I might sound like an asshole but I swear I don't mean to or know it! I'm sorry! Be my friend please!) With the increased hours and stress at this new job, I can hardly even think about going out on the town. Like I said, I don't have work friends to hang out with, and my other city friends are much busier (and happier; why bring them down?) than I am and I don't see them much.

I know that work-life balance is important. I'd done a good job of finding that in the last three years (possibly even erred on the side of life--what a terrible thing for a teacher), though my nonwork life wasn't terribly exciting. I don't really have hobbies or activities that take me out of my apartment or even my borough. I haven't worked out in months. Exercise would probably help me feel better or something, but jeez, when am I supposed to do that? I only have two or three hours of time at home in the evenings, and I have to eat, shower, take a (stupid) picture, and try to relax and watch tv.

I would dearly love to force myself to take another photography class. Having time is a problem, not to mention energy. Someday I want to play some kind of intramural sport again, meeting up with people at a local park to play softball or ultimate frisbee or something. That won't be happening any time soon, unfortunately. For pete's sake, I should finish knitting that scarf I started back in January! It's just about done already, but I haven't even touched it in months.


Speaking of the park, we went into the city today and found a spot in Sheep Meadow to relax and do the Onion crossword puzzle. The sun felt wondrously warm. There were so many people there! Many just lounging with a friend or loved one, many tossing frisbees, baseballs, footballs, many reading and soaking in the sun. I should really take advantage of this lovely weather while it lasts and while I have this long weekend!

blah blah blah...


browneyedgirlie said...

I hear ya on all of this, my dear.

Friends? What are those? I think the last time I went out and had a good time was in August, during the trip I took to visit my friend before she left for the Army.

Fun? What's that? I get paid crap as an aide, so I work a second job. On the nights when I'm off, I go to the gym, then curl up on my (parent's) couch.

If I do have to work, I don't get home until shortly after 10.

Seriously, what the hell?!

Wish we lived closer - I'd definitely hang out with you :)

R said...

I had to do a 20-mile run today (in preparation for the marathon in November), and I ran past Sheep Meadow -- I was jealous of all the people laying out and relaxing while I was polishing off my grueling run. But you definitely deserve that relaxation, so now my jealousy has receded somewhat :)

And I have to ask: What is a blog feeder and how does it work? I too click on links to read blogs and didn't even know there was any other way! Help me join you in the 21st century!

--miss brave

Schoolgal said...

It's not the number of friends, but the quality. And BF is probably your best friend, so spending any quality time together is a good thing. Having fun or relaxing is not against the rules.
Learn that you come before your job and you will do fine :)

peace in the classroom said...

I felt much better about myself when I let my Friday nights go. I just decided that I don't DO Fridays anymore (10 months a year). After countless nights "out" in New York City trying to keep up with my office friends, I would end up so exhausted that I couldn't even have a good time. I also didn't feel good about myself. I like to get ready and dressed to go out and when I was going straight from school, I felt totally gross from my day and generally bad about myself. So, I decided that I don't go out anymore on Fridays (only to happy hour occasionally with school friends). I seriously don't miss it at all. There is always Saturday!

Chance said...

Here's to not having a social life! Woo!