le sigh.

This sentence is a treasure trove of BAD.

CANIDATE(S) MUST BE FAMILER WITH MICROSOFT OFFICE AND ADOBE, WELL ORGANIZED AND PUNTUAL.

--more craigslist wonder

would you...

...want to apply to work with this group?

If you are seeking a rewarding opprotunity that allows professional growth; dont missing this change and apply now.

Spelling counts, people!



--[seen in a craigslist education ad]

Sadly Misinformed

Last weekend, while Boyfriend and I were exploring Old Ironsides, this lady was corralling her tour group. She pointed to somewhere across the way, and called out, "Over there, everyone. We're conjugating in the parking lot. Let's go, come on. Conjugating over there." etc etc.

Boyfriend and I froze, and looked at each other, then burst out laughing.

What made it worse was that her students were mimicking her and making fun of the language. So she goes, "Come on, I'm trying to get you to college with a good vocabulary!"

Boyfriend and I then looked at each other in horror.

Oh, dear.

Anyone still sure that spelling doesn't matter?

I gave a big quiz on Friday, covering plot, vocabulary words (from both sets that we've done, not just the latest one), and verbs (form and identification).

For "fal*ling action", the definition I gave them was "the story/plots are wrapping up." So on his paper, one student wrote the following: "rap!ng up the h0le plot."

For "resolution" (which almost none of them can spell), our definition was "out*come of conflict and cli*max". That same student wrote this: "resoultions: all that rap!ng up the cl!max."

I giggled in horror for a good five minutes. Oh, god.

More choice past participles:
swimen
fluen
flewen
flewn
fluwn
flun
flawn
begon

On the last section, they had to read the sentence and write the complete verb--including any helping verbs. They all did moderately well on this, perhaps because we did them as a warm-up the day before. Let's hope. Anyway, one sentence was "Ken will be starring in the play." One student wrote this as the verb: will be staring. That also made me giggle, because that one 'r' completely changes the meaning of the sentence: "Ken will be staring in the play." Heh.

FROOZEN!?

Feel free to hate me. I am about to say something that sounds really bad. Just keep reading and don't misquote me on anything.

These children are not smart.

Okay, no, not every single one. A couple are. But too many aren't!

I have a really hard time figuring out and then accepting the level these kids are on. This year my "high-level" class is about on grade level. Their homework and quiz scores and class performance show that. The other two classes do significantly worse and are significantly slower. They have trouble with the fifth-grade vocabulary and so must be operating on roughly a fourth-grade level--in sixth grade. The class, as a whole, not a select few.

Some things I make myself remember that it's not their fault. Things like grammar and spelling have been shunned in school during their lifetime. (The people who made that decision really ARE stupid. I hope they're happy when we have a nation of adults who can't read, write or spell effectively or efficiently. Grr. Get off my porch, you young whippersnappers with your rock and roll!) So the fact that they have no foundation and basic knowledge in these areas is not their fault. It's the system which has failed them (on purpose, but whatever, I suppose one could argue that's a matter of opinion).

And I'm not talking about the ones who have real issues, or even the ones that are behind. Even the low level ones are paying close attention and really trying to do well. That's something else. I'm talking about the kids who have no sense and who just don't pay attention.

Anyway, so when they are trying to learn these new things, and I do my best to connect it to things they already know, and show them step by step, and they just do stupid things.

That fantastic worksheet with irregular verb families--that was my tool today to learn the patterns for present-past-participle forms. For each first one, I had the kids supply the form and the pattern. See? Words they already knew, and patterns that were easy and made sense. Participation, ownership, confidence, etc.

Then they were to fill in the chart with the rest of the verbs in that same pattern. Most very good! Lots of praise to the kiddies.

For the pattern like "awake-awoke-awoken" I saw answers that sounded German and Dutch.

Forget-forgot-forgoten

(that I will very grudgingly forgive--for now!--because many of them are so low level they don't know about doubling consonants. Yet. But they better start fixing it and paying some freaking attention to their spelling.)

choose-choose-choosen

(Um, no. Just, no. What is the correct word? You know this already, I promise!)

and the best (except worst) that was ALL TOO COMMON?!

freeze--freeze--froozen

What the f*ck?!

For pete's sake, look at your paper! Read the word! PAY ATTENTION!!

Every single child in the room has been in a grocery store. Grocery stores have food in a freezer. IT IS NOT A FROOZEN FOOD SECTION!!

When I burst out with this particular sentence during my last class, they all got the giggles. Hee hee! Froozen food! Tee hee!

Me, in my head, rolling my eyes: What in the world am I dealing with here?

I don't think there is enough patience in the world for this. Instead, I think I have to make myself just forget and ignore things, and try to move on.

And FINE, none of them are actually stupid or dumb. Gah, I know I can't say that and that I'm going to hell for even thinking it. I don't really believe they're idiots. Senseless goofs, some of them, yes. LOTS of them are really low level and that makes me very nervous, because I really don't know if anything I do helps.

This year I think I'm getting better at finding those lower-level ones and targeting them for improvement. Right now that only entails a couple extra worksheets to reinforce things, and repeated desk visits during work periods to check on and review basics. Actually, I think I am seeing some improvement from at least a couple of them. I just worry because there's so much they don't know. I need to keep taking one step at a time and keeping an eye on their work.

Another thing I want to try is Experts. I noticed in the homework I graded this weekend that literally only a handful of kids really grasped and mastered the verb tense and usage. So besides full-class reinforcement, I was thinking about moving the Master Verb kids around the tables to help the others. Doesn't that sound fun?

Along with that, I think I'm going to have to go back to once-weekly skill grouping. Gah, too much to think about when we don't have a copier at our disposal. (I heard that a new one is coming soon. I just hope it happens. And I don't see why the old one can't get moved so we can have TWO working copiers. Gosh, what a concept!)

Moral of this post:

• NO, I'm not a bitter commie monster (ooh, great name for a blog!) who hates children or calls names;
• YES, I'm a human being who gets frustrated;
• ALSO YES, I'm a teacher who CARES about what the students are learning and who wants them to actually LEARN something, which requires them to pay attention, and me to work hard to monitor their progress.

F*cking Past Participle!

The kids clearly do NOT understand the past participle. Dude, they can't even spell it. They call it the past particle. Snerk. Particles are in atoms, not in grammar!

The past tense they've got down. They know it so well that they try to use it for other tenses, in fact!

The future tense they mostly have, except they don't seem to know that the "will" in "will run" is still part of the verb phrase.

The present tense they do NOT have all the way, either. They either use the present perfect or future or past tense. "Today I will run." Or "Today I won the game." ?!

For the past hour and a half, I have looked for materials to reinforce this. I found a bunch of different resources. One great thing I will certainly use is a table with irregular verb families and a corresponding quiz. The BBC Skillswise has some great worksheets that seem to clearly explain the different types of present and past tenses--simple present and continuous present (present perfect?) (the difference between "I dance" and "I am dancing") and simple past and continuous past ("I drove" versus "I was driving").

Many kids use the totally wrong tense in the past. Like this: "Last month I had written three poems." Or "This summer my grandma had die." It's so wrong! But to explain it is kind of complicated. I'm going to use these resources as a tool to attempt to make them see why it's wrong. If it's done and completed, then it's simple past. If it shows something that started in the past but continued, then it's past participle. If it started in the past and continued into the present when something else happened, then it's continuous past. Argh! I hope they get it.

I found a bunch of quizzes and worksheets to practice and check different tenses. I'll use those with the whole class later this week, and use some other ones as individual extra practice.

Wish me luck! More than that, wish me patience!

Excellent Link for Reading, Writing, Grammar, Math

Visit the BBC Skillswise site!

It's got printable factsheets and worksheets, online games and leveled quizzes. (I copy and paste the quiz questions to create printable quizzes) There are also links "For Tutors" to other printables and lesson ideas. It is really a fantastic resource, and I highly recommend it.

My First YouTube Post

Enjoy my favorite Grammar Rock songs! You just might learn something, and you'll have a hard time getting the melodies out of your head. But that's a good thing, I swear!

A Spelling Strategy, for all ages

What's the last show of a television season?

season FINale

What's the last, comprehensive test you take at the end of the year?

FINal exam

What do you say when you've completed a task?

I'm FINished!

What do you see at the end of old-fashioned movies?

FIN

What are French and Spanish words for "the end"?

FIN, FINito

What's a term for limiting something?

conFINe

What is the word for limiting an idea, say, the number of people you can fit in a phone booth?

FINite

What is the word when you set a limit or explanation to something?

deFINe

What is the noun version of a limit or explanation for something?

deFINITE

How about the adverb version?

deFINITEly

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What does the root "FIN" mean?
An end or limit!
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There are NO 'A's in the words define, definite, or definitely! No A! None, whatsoever! ZERO A!
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Look! Now you know how to spell! Latin is your friend! So is etymology in general!

(PS, for word nerds like me: "finite" and "definite" are from different but still-related Latin root words [definire and finire], so the "de" is NOT a negative prefix in this case. )

Here is a long but very useful page, listing common Greek and Latin roots, their meanings, and words they are found in.

Here is an excellent site with specific explanations, examples, vocabulary, and exercises for roots, prefixes, and suffixes.

Here's a really great site using Harry Potter spell charms--the kids will know this stuff!--to teach roots. I've done this only with the root "lev" (eLEVate, LEVer, alLEViate, LEVity, etc) and it worked pretty well with 6th graders and dictionaries.
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If you are a teacher or parent, please figure out a way to incorporate root learning into your child's/class's education. If you can link words together like this, I bet you five bucks you'll see the light go on about their heads! Fantastic! With a couple repetitions and reinforcements, students would 'get it', and would forevermore know how to spell words that seem tricky but really aren't. What a win-win situation!