Moving Forward, I Hope

Film, Steps



So I love taking pictures. Have since I got my first cheap 35mm in middle school. (Before that I had a bright yellow Kodak 110 camera--remember those?!) I took random pictures of our cat, or of my bedroom wall (at one age-covered in kitties and puppies and flowers; at a later age-covered in Mariners), because I couldn't think of anything else. When I took my first Europe trip, I thought it was extravagant that I took three and a half rolls of film in three weeks. (Isn't that hilarious? Now I'll take that many digital photos in a single day. Or of a single sunset.)
I also took 34 rolls of film during the ten months of AmeriCorps. Clearly, I've gotten a little more obsessed as I've gotten older.

Just over a year ago, I bought a pro account on flickr. Four months later I began a daily photo project. Two months after that I bought a much nicer camera. There are a lot of moments that I wish I could capture on camera, but am too shy or don't have the right equipment. Other times I see a scene that I know that someone else, more artistic and creative than I, could make incredible, but I can't see it, so I take a mediocre shot.

In the past year I do think I have noticeably improved as a photographer. I don't know any technical things, however, and I also think that is noticeable. Additionally, I don't have photoshop. Because of all that, all of my photography basically pales in comparison to most people on flickr.

Worse, lately I've been completely uninspired and uncreative. Perhaps being sick and fatigued played a role in that, but really, it's clearly a mental state. I'm so uncreative I didn't even know how to play with barbies, and I name stuffed animals after themselves.

Sometime last year I began looking at photography classes, and even posted about it. But around the new year, when I let myself evaluate my priorities and interests, I decided to work on photography and commit to taking a class.

So I did! Yesterday was the first meeting!

I wrote that I would commit an hour a day to working on photography, but already I've been laying around home all day long, doing nothing at all, let alone practicing with pictures. Partly because it's so LAME and BORING and STUPID to keep taking so many stupid pictures in my own apartment. And also it's cold outside, and also ALSO because I hurt my foot and ankle trying to do picture stuff yesterday, because I am an IDIOT.

Sigh.