Saturday, September 20, 2008

You know what I miss?

--My bed (In my studio that was the only place to sit, other than my desk chair. I would spend plenty of time lying in bed watching tv or reading.)

--Reading (No time, no energy, no nothing)

--My blue walls (The kitchen has one rust-colored wall, but I don't like it that much. The bedroom is empty and ugly, and the living room is cluttered)

--Free time (I used to have five to seven hours every day after school. Now I'm lucky to have two, in which I need to eat, shower, take a self-portrait, pretend to keep up with blogs and television)

--My boyfriend (we both work long hours and we barely see each other during the week)

--Feeling rested (see above re: time) (During the week, I'm getting just under eight hours of sleep and don't feel rested. Last weekend, I slept for twelve hours on Friday and nine on Saturday. Last night I slept for nine hours.)

--Feeling creative (Brain is fried all the time. Also, if I'm capable of rational thought, teaching/planning takes up most of the neurons. If I weren't so habituated and narcissistic, I would stop taking self-portraits, as I feel completely useless with a camera nowadays.) (This afternoon I took my film SLR (which hasn't seen the light of day since, like, March) and the DSLR to the park to take photos. I tried to keep the manual settings, but I couldn't make things look how I wanted.)

--Feeling like a good teacher (like I said, this past week was a lot better but I was nowhere near good. Although, several people observed me and gave me compliments.)


Anonymous said...

I miss your blue walls, too, Jules :)

This is a big transition you're in the middle of right now (I'm about to go through one, myself, very soon, and I'm dreading it), but once the dust settles, all will be fine.

Just keep smiling and have faith that everything happens for a reason - and enjoy your Sunday. The school week will begin far, far too soon!

CaliforniaTeacherGuy said...

In your weary and non-creative state, hold on to this thought: You are (most probably) where you are supposed to be, doing what you are supposed to be doing.