09/28/03: This crazy month is almost over. I shall be glad.

Last weekend I volunteered with Habitat for Humanity, at their Snoqualmie Ridge site. The task for the day was bringing some houses up to code. Most of the things that needed to be done were in attics and crawl spaces. I worked in both, and worked up quite a sweat. I LOVED it. I loved doing something with my hands, I loved doing something that got tangible results, I loved doing something that really physically mattered. There was a brand-new team of AmeriCorps people there, a couple of whom had already done NCCC. It was fabulous to talk to them, but I was sad to not have time to get all their stories. That's my favorite thing about AmeriCorps, talking to the members, finding out where they come from, what they've done, what their general experience of life has been. People are cool.

I am planning to continue volunteering, with Seattle Works and now with Habitat. There is a site in Redmond where I hope to work in October.

I just re-read Succulent Wild Woman by Sark. I really enjoy her work, it inspires me. I have been feeling spiritually empty, so it was wonderful to read that. Because of that, I decided to use this afternoon for a mini adventure. I headed out on the freeway, thinking about going to Mount St Helens. Then I saw the exit for Aberdeen and Ocean Beaches, and I haven't ever been there, so I decided to go that way instead. It was so pretty, just driving on the highway, there were evergreen trees everywhere and a big blue sky overhead. I got into Aberdeen, took some turns, drove around, and then I ended up going to Ocean Shores. I parked by a little mall and ate at a diner. The chocolate milk shake was yummy. Then I went to the beachfront. It was populated with clam-diggers and kite-flyers. It was cloudy and windy and loud and wonderful. Being there reminded me of previous good times at Lincoln City and at Cape Cod. I walked down the beach, relaxed on some driftwood, watched a baby seagull scurry across the sand. It really wasn't an objectively exciting trip, but I enjoyed it all the same. Then I got back in the car to drive home, in plenty of time to catch the premiere of Alias.

Yesterday Stacey and I finally hosted a get-together at our apartment. We had drinks and games, and Jaime Doll joined us, who most of us hadn't seen since the early college years. It was a good time. The mojitos were the unofficial stars of the evening!

Also, happy birthday to the September Fire 4 babies, Ashley, Jep, and Brodie, and best of luck to Lesley, who is off to a big ol' adventure in Tanzania with the Peace Corps.

09/06/03: The faucet has turned off in the mortgage industry. The light at the end of the tunnel is close; no one's sure if it means we're all clear or we're in danger from that stupid oncoming train (which this time means that no one knows how long we'll all have jobs). The repercussions are apparent everywhere. Appraisals used to take 3-4 weeks to complete because the appraisers were so back-logged with orders...just in the past week a good number of orders were finished in less than seven days. Our office is still really busy catching up, but the boss made it clear that things will change from now on. My little life as an assistant blew up this week; the teams were rearranged a little, and now I have huge pile of files to work on. The week was kind of tough, because of all the changes, but next week I better get it together.

Another boring weekend. Last night I played Bunko and it was a lot of fun. I'll go in to work on Sunday afternoon. I have an hour's worth of files to build at home. Some more laundry to do at my mom's house. I might pass out from all this excitement.

08/25/03: Hubris strikes again! I was all proud of myself because last week I processed two files, then, unexpectedly, it looked like both of them were going to fund this month (instead of sit on my desk for a couple weeks waiting for subordinations). I was really excited about adding my little productivity to the team. However, today I learned that one of them is cancelling (out of the gosh darn blue) and the other one didn't sign the final papers (which means it won't fund in August). BOO FOR ME. 100% fallout--is that incredible or what?

In other news: on Sunday, after working a few hours, I went shopping. It turned into a shopping spree of sorts--a spree at Target and a free spree at B&N. I'll explain. I went to the former for just a couple things--a cheap file storage thing, inexpensive picture frames for my cool Euro photos. I got those plus a couple other random things, then I decided to check out the clothes. See, I've never really had any luck with stores like Target for clothes shopping, and clothes in general (especially pants) just don't fit me well. I have actually come to loathe clothes shopping because it just depresses me--either my ass and hips are too big, or my waist isn't small enough. Shirts are usually too tight for work or boxy and unflattering. Imagine how pleased I was to find two pairs of nice slacks that fit nicely and were not breath-inhibitive, plus two grown-up shirts, and this awesome burgundy corduroy pea coat. It was like school shopping, which I've never done properly. I figure that spending that amount of money was good for several reasons: it was like all my shopping attempts for the past two or three years were finally 'avenged' so to speak; each item was relatively cheap--all under or right near $20 and the most expensive item (the coat) was only $30. In trying to overcome my extreme frugality, that seems like a pretty damn good deal, don't you think?

08/18/03: So yesterday I took a practice GRE exam online. Oh my gosh. Let me preface all of this by saying that I took this completely cold. I did take a GRE math course, in MAY, that I could hardly understand back then. Don't forget that it's been ten years since I've done this kind of math, and a good five years since I've done ANY math at all. Suffice to say, I am not a math person. To quote Barbie, "Math is hard."

So here goes. First of all, I didn't even finish the math section, I ran out of time. There were only 28 questions, and I think I got through 20 or maybe 22 of them. One was a graph I couldn't read at all, so that was a random guess. Several others I thought I had figured out an answer on paper but none of the choices matched, so I had to educated-guess those too...it was pretty pathetic.

The verbal section went much better, thank goodness. The sentence completions were okay, and in general I thought I did fairly well. There were a crapload of words I didn't know. In fact, I wrote them down. Please let me know if you have ever even seen any of these words before: jejune, vitiate, saturnine, temerity, mawkish, diluvial. Then the ones that seemed like I should know them but I guess I didn't: intransigent, expurgate, quixotic, pedantic, malediction. Phew!

Here's the black and white results: 350 on the math section. 590 on the verbal section. Both out of a possible 800, just like the SAT. That's 43% and 73%. A mere total of 940! That's 59%. Holy crap, it just was terrible. Moral of the story: I NEED TO STUDY IF I EVER WANT TO PASS THE DAMN THING.

After that completely personal humiliation, of course I then had to contemplate the meaning of my life and where my future shall lead me. I thought about all the things I want to do in the next year or few (for dreams/aspirations and real life), and here are my current thoughts on them.

a. Graduate School. I think I already mentioned how a couple months ago I realized that I was completely unmotivated to really try hard at preparing for the exam. Every once in awhile I got all fired up and vowed to study and take the thing soon. But I could never follow through on it. Possibly I am afraid of failing (see above for proof of this theory!), and frankly, even studying the math scared me--I just don't remember it. Then, aside from the exam, I don't even know what to think about graduate school, as a whole. I don't think I'm ready yet to decide what type of program to choose. Yes, all this time I've thought about Public Health/Community Health Education. Unfortunately, I just don't know yet...nothing really excites me. I can't see myself really doing grad school. Right now I like making money and it is nice to have a break from the everyday stress of homework and all that. Plus, based on what I know from my senior year of college, graduate school will kill me with paper-writing.

My final decision, based on not yet making any decision about ANYTHING, is that I shall put off graduate school indefinitely, and wait until I feel a deep void in my life that could only be filled by higher education.

b. Performing. I wish I could be an actor. I wish I could be a public speaker. I love being in front of people. However, I don't think I really ever can or will do that. Boo. Henceforth I shall cease harboring any notions of fame in the entertainment and otherwise performing world.

c. Travel. Everyone knows the cliche American soul-searching backpacker. How awesome would that be, to take a whole year of life and just bum around, doing whatever, on other continents? The travel in my life is most likely going to be limited to just a couple continents, plus, when will I ever have enough money and willpower to just up and leave my whole life behind for a year? Come on, I already did AmeriCorps. Ha ha, I just realized that, that is fabulous. :)

Seriously though. I had been thinking this year about taking a trip to Europe. I was so homesick for Paris that I really thought about taking a long weekend to just jaunt over there and hang out. But really, Paris on my own, with nothing to do? Not sure if that would be cool. Obviously, Paris is always great, but maybe I should go somewhere new. I don't really feel any great pull towards any other great European city, and, remembering my Rome experience, I might get bored. Who wants to be bored in Rome?

Final decision: maybe take a long weekend in December to do something closer to home--I have no idea what--and save a big month long trip to Europe for next summer.

d. Work. Am I whoring myself out? Am I selling out for corporate America, that most evil capitalist empire? Pretty much. In my own silly defense, can I just reiterate for you all that money is cool?

No, really. I want to pay off my car, and it feels so good to not have to scrape by paycheck to paycheck. I am honestly living on my own for the first time in my life (yes, I know that shows just how sheltered I am, since I'm 23 years old), but even so, I am proud of myself. Having only one job, with standardized hours, for an extended period of time, still feels like a new thing for me. Sometimes it's a challenge because I feel bored or frustrated or overwhelmed by the notion that I am doing nothing to help greater humanity. But I try to buck up and always do the best that I can, and keep learning. So far I've been able to learn so much about the grown-up work world, and I think it will be very useful for whatever future I decide on. Assuming I decide on one.

My rational for all of this is to give it a year (from my permanent employment date of July 1). I figure that one year is a good time to test the waters of the whole demanding adult world, and that in this crazy market I may not even keep the job for that year. I look at it as a kind of experiment, proof to myself of my abilities, and that at the end of one year I will be allowed to evaluate my life (again, and for real). I have said to myself that after a year of working hard and trying my damndest to pay off my own car, I can go play and do something for me. Which leads me to my next and hopefully last piece.

e. Service, ie, Working for the Greater Good. What a difference a year makes! Once again, I shall briefly discuss how rewarding it was to know that whatever I did that day had some kind of positive, tangible effect on at least one person, if not an entire community. Yes, even something as mundane and boring as raking leaves. Somehow, chatting with people on the phone about their mortgages just doesn't quite live up, you know? Here are my thoughts. If, after a year, I decide that service is indeed that important, and I am financially stable enough, I shall devote another year to serving a community. Somewhere. Ooh, and I would love to move somewhere! What an adventure. Maybe I'll try for Team Leader in the Western or Southern Region of NCCC, maybe I'll try to work for a local AmeriCorps program in some different area, maybe I'll just go be a service bum. Who knows.

f. Spare time. I have way too much, and for the most part, I don't use it for anything remotely productive. So, beginning this weekend, I shall volunteer more/again. I'm thinking about taking a class at BCC or somewhere--maybe photography, maybe math or art history or something random. I am also in desperate need of expanding my social world. Is it me, or are the 20s a terrible time for social development? It's like everyone gets into a rut with their few friends and doesn't meet or hang out with too many new folks. I am totally guilty of that, but I love knowing lots of people in different capacities, so I got to get started getting out there.

Final decision: lots of talk about reinventing Julie's social sphere. But honestly, sitting around my own place reading all day long sounds pretty damn good, too.

Moral of this drawn-out piece of whatever: I think too much and do much too little. I hope that, probably in baby steps, I can change that.Thanks, y'all.

08/12/03: So seriously, this past weekend was all about the annoying people. I kept almost running into all these terrible drivers. Yucky. Another thing about the weekend that was only a little annoying/yucky, and ultimately "about damn time," was the cleaning of my bedroom and bathroom. It was the first real clean since we moved in over a month ago. I love that feeling of looking around and being able to see the great difference after a nice effort to make it all pretty.
Now it's Tuesday. I am not quite fully rested of late, so here's to hoping for some early bedtimes. Hurrah for no social life!

However, now with more time on my hands and more disposable income, I am finally getting started on the decorating "projects" I've been meaning to start. Plus, my dad brought over some extra furniture, so now there are a whole bunch of places for people to sit, plus a coffee table. And over the weekend I got a toaster. The table and toaster are very exciting updates for us. I finally got enlargements for all my beautiful travel pictures and I am going to put those up in an exhibit type thing. And we're going to put up calendar pictures (of Greece and of sunsets) and a world map on some of the living room walls Wish me luck completing it all. After that I want to stain our wood table and storage thing--fun with paintbrushes!

Oh! I know. I hereby, formally apologize and beg forgiveness from everyone I've ever had to spend extended time with for any whining/bitching/complaining/general moodiness I have ever done. I know it's not pretty and not nice and completely unpleasant, and I heartily thank everyone who still talkes to me. I will be better. :)

08/09/03: So. It has been a long, lonely, single week. I have worked a lot of overtime, so at least I can feel productive. By the end of the week, boy was I struggling. I had a serious case of the Friday fidgets most of yesterday. Got through it, though. I even "processed" a file this week (I put it in quotation marks because I sat and did whatever my colleague told me to do. In any case, it was sort of exciting). Picked up my new set of contacts, it only took two months to figure that all out. My knees got to twinging a little too much, about halfway through the week, and so I haven't been walking or working out. I do feel sluggish, but I like having more time to sit and read. I've been zipping through all kinds of books lately. Got to talk with several of my former teammates this week, that was great. Sometimes I can picture things from last year so perfectly in my head, and it just blows my mind that it's over. It's funny though, because I've been reading my journals from last year, and there were so many low times! It was a really tough experience and sometimes I wasn't sure I could make it. Now, though, it seems all rosy and pretty and friendly. I think it's a good thing to not stay bitter (or at least not about everything :). Plus, despite the fact that our team was not usually a cohesive whole last year, and I didn't know all of them perhaps as well as I should have, it now seems like we all belong to each other. We all want to know what happening with the others. It's a nice, family-ish feeling.
Today I cleaned and went out to town, running exciting errands to start decorating our empty-walled apartment. I was also fortunate to find all the world's most annoying people, in the Tukwila Kinko's. Who knew? Let's hope I have the energy to finish the effort. Good luck.

08/03/03: Today I watched an Italian film called Pane e Tulipani (Bread and Tulips). I loved it. I want to be that movie. There's something magical about foreign films, no extreme camera shots, the way the music is so different--no top 40 hits in the soundtrack; simpler sounds that convey more emotion or something--and I love how the actors in any foreign film are just everyday people. Other cultures clearly don't need to see gorgeous people in every role of every movie. It's wonderful.

08/01/03: So July is over now. It has been a real summer lately, warm and dry and restless. Work is crazy still, my patience is tried at least once a day with difficult phone calls, but we still have fun. I have money right now and I want to shop. I don't really know how or when or where, but I'm just in that mood to spend. This past week passed in a blur. Since Thursday was the end of the month, and usually it falls at the end of a week, it feels like today was a Monday. So I keep forgetting that now it's a weekend again. Somehow the weekend is pretty packed, without my doing. That is odd. Last Sunday, save for the brunch with Dan, I spent the day doing absolutely nothing. Watching television, movies, napping on the sofa, it felt wonderful. I didn't even work last weekend. So of course this weekend I need to buckle down and work a lot. I really should, and I will love the overtime. I'm just so...lazy and tired and boring. I don't really know what to do enough to actually do anything, if that makes sense.

I've been walking, and beginning to slowly get back into working out. I wish I could have more time for it but not spend any time doing it. I feel like I don't have time for doing anything, or doing nothing. I've been reading a lot, trying to stay away from the evil box, and trying to get more sleep. Haven't decided if it's working or not, though. In fact, it's only 9.30 right now, but I find myself kind of sleepy. I shall lie down and read now. Good night.

07/19/03: Late last week I decided to take a walk on my lunch hour. And then I decided to do it every day. Two days into it I discovered a creek and trail directly behind my office complex. It has been absolutely beautiful weather, what a wonderful summer. Even though the creek itself is small, cloudy and runs next to the sewage treatment plant, the greenery surrounding the water is literally a breath of fresh air. I have been amazed to find that during that 30 or 40 minutes, my mind just is free. Nothing is weighing on me, I don't feel stress about work or life or whatever, I'm just there in the moment, listening to whatever CD is in the walkman. (Norah Jones' record is fabulous, by the way.) Yesterday I had my best walk yet--it was all I could do to bring myself back inside, back to work. I just got in the groove, loving the sunshine on my shoulders, listening to Alanis, walking hard and fast like there was no tomorrow.

Yesterday I remembered the time I did a read-aloud for the team. It was at TrailBlazers, after I had started working on the library and going on reading binges. I read them The Giving Tree, because I always loved that book. I got to nearing the end, and I said, okay I have to stop because I'm going to start crying. The team laughed, but I said, no, I'm serious! as a couple tears escaped. Then someone else finished it up for me. There's some kind of deep statement there about friendships and teamwork. Or maybe I'm just too darn mushy. Ha.

07/09/03: So I've been official now for about a week, have email and voice mail all set up...very neat. Somehow, though, work got exponentially tougher; I have more piles, bigger piles, and I get all flustered more. The past week or so I've been sick, with my summertime strep/cold thing (made for an excellent holiday weekend, let me tell you), and of course my gravelly voice and coughing fits make phone calls a real treat. I'm doing my best not to take it all too personally, to not get caught up and over-stressed, although it's awfully frustrating to have such a messy desk. I just can't seem to get caught up and organized. But it's fine! Really, it will be fine. Yeah.

So. Welcome to Complacency Land. I am now the official Resident Couch Potato. I don't do anything. Since I bought the tv over the weekend (and got my mom's extra VCR--she's using mine back at her place), I have spent altogether WAY too many hours slumped in Stacey's leather chair, slack-jawed and spaced out in front of that evil box. Sigh.

In other news, I got an email through the AmeriCorps Association about the danger that AmeriCorps is facing in Congress right now. It makes me sick to think about what might happen...but I have put off doing anything about it. I actually started a letter to Email My Elected Representatives, but man...I am so bad at that kind of stuff. It feels to trite and cheesy to say "AmeriCorps changed my life, please do everything you can to keep it running so it can change more lives," but damn, it's the truth. I want to write something profound, provocative, memorable, something that will catch the attention of whatever poor aide has been assigned to read the messages from the masses. You know? More likely, however, I will ramble on, disparately, desparately, trying to get my point across in way too many words.

Speaking of words, I'm working my way through Made in America, by Bill Bryson, and it's freaking awesome. It's like a history of America with a linguistic eye. Truly fascinating. For instance, did you know "Idaho" is a made-up word? They needed a name for the state and someone thought it up to be sort of Indian-sounding. Very weird. And Abner Doubleday had absolutely nothing to do with baseball, that uber-American (but in reality, completely not) pastime. It's exactly the type of book I wish I could have researched or written. I love obscure facts about random stuff that everyone takes for granted.

Hm.

06/29/03: Well. It's been a week that Stacey and I have been in the new place. It's coming along nicely. We have the kitchen, with real groceries and implements, set up properly, and had a cable modem installed yesterday. My room is not exactly clean but most of the junk is in boxes in the gargantuan wall closet. We have a couple new lamps and small tables; next will be a sofa of some kind, proper coffee table, more lamps, and of course a television and VCR. I'm finding myself grateful that my expenses of late have been so minimal that I can afford to do all this.

The week has been very busy with work and stuff. I finished up my physical therapy prescription for the ol' knees...woo. At some point I fully intend to begin a slow return to regular workouts. Honestly, these weeks of nothing have really made a difference, and now the effort to get back into shape will be difficult all over again. Sigh. Not to whine, or anything. I know it's my fault. And that's my downfall, because for the most part I don't really care.

So yeah, the fifth installment of Harry Potter was excellent, as anticipated. I was really excited to get a copy on the day it came out in stores, and had to start reading as soon as I possibly could. Frankly, I'm disappointed it took a whole week to read it...but I have had very little free time this week. Another thing I fully intend to do is reread the previous four to remind myself of everything, then maybe read number five again. Stupid waiting a long time between new ones!! .... A couple weeks ago I went on a spree at the Bellevue library...I got seven books or something obscene like that. Rarr. I'm nearly done with the third of those. Yay books. A couple weeks ago I tried to start reading Schindler's List, but the writing/grammar was poor enough to distract me from the story. I guess that means I'll just have to watch the movie.

06/13/03: Ooh, Friday the Thirteenth...wait, it's past midnight, so it's over. Phew. The worst thing that happened to me was a headache and ongoing sleepiness.

I have gone shopping a lot lately, but at inexpensive places, so I have gotten lots of return on my effort. Oh, and it has been an effort.

It's been nearly two weeks that I've been out of commission, so to speak, because of knee pain. A week ago something twisted funny in my left knee and I could hardly walk for two days. Then, of course, the strain on my right knee from limping on it made that one hurt even more. I went to an orthopedist and was diagnosed with patellar tendonitis, for which I received prescriptions for anti-inflammatory and physical therapy (the other PT). During the last week and a half, the former has not relieved any pain or discomfort, and the latter has seemed to increase it. Hmm. Anyway, the rest definitely helps (I have been working out three to four times a week for three months now, and apparently it was tough on my li'l ol' joints), and the extra time is wonderful. Somehow I squander it though, so I still feel like I don't get anything done. Oh well. Unfortunately, the rest has also necessitated some of that aforementioned shopping...I gained about seven pounds in the first few days of not working out. What a week it was.

A week from today, Stacey and I will be able to officially move into our new apartment in Renton! I am totally unprepared...my stuff is once again scattered across several zip codes. Sigh, I must face the challenge of packing everything I own and at long last (attempting to, anyway) having it all in the same place with me. Actually, that's never happened before, so wish me luck. It will require quite a lot of effort and energy, not to mention boxes and packing tape. Dammit, more shopping. Ah, the shopping. There's so much I'll need, now that I'll actually be moving out on my own.

06/08/03: We had our to-go-out mail stolen from our mailbox on Friday morning...that made for a fun weekend of cancelling accounts and such. It's been really warm and hot, very unseasonal if you ask me. But thank goodness I'm not in the South or the East Coast, I know it would be worse. :)

06/03/03: So holy crap, it's June.

In November, our campus Service Learning Coordinator gave out instructions for a reflection exercise--to write letters to ourselves, six months in the future. My team decided to write letters to the whole team, six months in the future.

Lo and behold, it's been six months already and last week I received my packet of letters. I made this really cutesy, colorful envelope, with the return address listed as Julie from six months ago, of Fire 4 Schmire 4. Anyway, I was so excited to get them and read them. It was really fun to remember those days, and to read little notes from my teammates.

Another fun team thing from last week--we got four of us on the phone at the same time! Thanks to modern technology and three-way cell phones, Jess, Jep, Dez and I all got to talk to each other. I loved hearing all their voices again, and at the same time. Like the good old days. Aww.

So! Back to Memorial Day...(check out the pictures from the trip here!)

We caught an evening ferry to Bainbridge Island and then drove to Port Angeles. It was a lovely drive, all foresty and then views of the big Olympic mountains. Very impressive. We arrived at our cozy bed and breakfast and slept well.

Saturday, Dan and I went out and explored some nature. Took Highway 101 around the peninsula to Olympic National Park, and the Hoh Rainforest. It was incredible there. Walked the "Hall of Mosses" trail, looking at the giant trees and the hanging mosses covering them. There were a lot of nurselog colonnades. That's what happens when a tree falls, seedlings and other plant life take root in the fallen trunk, trees begin to grow from the seedlings, and eventually the fallen log (the nurselog) rots away, leaving a line of trees with roots that now grow around empty space before hitting the ground. Fascinating, the way the circle of life works in the forest. I loved how everything was green, it was so refreshing. Our other excursion was a drive up to Hurricane Ridge. It's a long, twisty road up a mountain, but it took our breath away when we finally reached the top. We could see the huge panorama of the Olympic mountains and foothills, blanketed in evergreens. It was amazing. There was snow up there, at the lodge (it's 5,000 feet up!), so we walked around in it a bit, all bundled up in coats. It was just beautiful.

Sunday we only did one thing, because we were tired of driving. We drove to Crescent Lake, the ranger station, and took the short trail to look at Marymere Falls. It was very pretty. Then we took the Mt. Storm-King trail. Oh boy. The Port Angeles brochure said it was a challenging trek, steep and quite narrow. Well. I have a bone to pick with them, let me tell you. That trail was 1.7 miles straight up the mountain. 2200 feet straight uphill. All uphill switchbacks for 1.7 miles of raw mountain. It seemed to take forever. We had to stop every ten minutes just to catch our breath. I was all out of breath and sweaty and ugh. The unfair thing was seeing all these people coming down the mountain. There were kids running down the hills. We were like, why do they have energy for that?? And two separate people said something about the second rope at the top. We were baffled at that.

So we reach what really seems to be near the top, it's more rocky than forested, and the cliffs go straight down from the skimpy path. There's a sign that declares the end of the maintained trail, and that to travel on is dangerous. Well, we were there for the view from the top, darnit, so sod the damn sign. On we go, climbing tentatively and not looking down...some pretty scary places where the path skirts a curve, on a straight slant with scree heading straight down, and a stupid bush sticking out where we need to walk. I think I just tried to walk in the bush to not fall down the mountain. Then we hit the rope--there was a 50-foot section of fairly steep incline with no holds, so some brave soul had secured a rope with which to haul oneself up the incline. Crawling around more steep and scary paths, keep going...and we hit the second rope, up another steep incline with no holds. Then we come to a precarious rock formation that appears to be the end yet has no trace of the promised view. So we climbed up those rocks and suddenly we were on top of the whole thing. It was breathtaking. The entire Lake Crescent lay below us. The Strait of Juan de Fuca lay beyond that. There was fog rolling in when we first got there, giving it an eerie, mystical feeling. I was glad to see it dissipate though, I had visions of getting stuck up there, unable to see to get back down the mountain. We had a view of the miniscule ranger station where we'd begun our long journey. The mountains and hills were just gorgeous, untouched by civilization. I loved it. The damn brochure and the other hikers we met were totally right--the challenge was worth it.

Then we had to get down the mountain. The bit back to the maintained trail was the hardest. I crawled most of it on my bum, because it felt all slanty and I felt pretty certain that if I were standing up, I was far too likely to lose my balance and just roll down the rocky hillside. So I picked my way down nice and slow, and then we hit the downhill switchbacks. Difficult on different muscles and joints. By the time we finally reached the bottom, we were exalted at making it, and nearly limping with foot pain (I wore those favorites--steel toes, whose grip I was pretty grateful for, but damn they got uncomfortable, and Dan was wearing ordinary sneakers. So sitting down felt awesome. We wolfed down a quick dinner at a Mexican place, then went back to the B&B to rest. Ahh.

I was pretty sore on Monday, some in my legs, but a lot in my upper body. It was from pulling myself up the ropes and then the death grips on the way pulling myself down the hills. Phew. We drove home, playing with some trivia games, and had a restful afternoon.

All in all it was a great weekend. I loved being able to take a complete break from work for three straight days. (As everyone knows that talks to me at all, this was only the second weekend in over two months that I hadn't worked six days a week. Woo!)So now I've got pictures up--go check them out.

05/28/03: Hi. So now I have a whole other weekend of adventure to describe. Dan and I went to the Olympic Peninsula for Memorial Day weekend. It was great.

05/20/03: Okay, here we go, for real this time. I got caught up in the picture fun last night and didn't get a chance to come back to this page.

So. A few weeks ago now, I had a big trip across the country! It was exciting. I left on a Wednesday night at midnight and flew through the night to JFK airport in NYC. Really wanted to sleep but this obnoxious kid right behind me was way too loud. So I got in, dumped my crap at Joe's, and went on into the city. I was so freaking tired though. I started at Union Square and just wandered around. But mostly I just sat around. First at the Wendy's, then outside the New York Public Library. I took a tour of the library too, it was incredible. It's a beautiful building, and it has marble from six different countries within it. There is a whole room just for maps! I love that. It was a gorgeous day outside, so it felt wonderful to just sit outside. Unfortunately, then a bird shat on my leg. Excellent. It was so hard not to fall asleep out there, with the sunshine and the reading. Then I'm sure I walked around and stuff, and was tired. Ate some more, at McDonald's near Times Square. Sleepy sleepy. Later I somehow found my way to this bar in Soho or somewhere, to watch the Mariners get beat in a pitching duel with the Yankees. Oh well. I played some good pool. Then I slept for over 13 hours! Oh, that was lovely.

Friday I walked around the city. Looked around NYU, got some info on the MPH program there. Tried to visit the UN, but I missed the last tour by mere minutes. Got to see my friend Kristin who moved to New York last year without me.

Saturday morning I went to TrailBlazers! When we arrived from the van ride, I found the new NCCC team, led by Terri from last year. It was fun to catch up and hear about her year so far. There were about forty people there for Operation Muscle. Everyone split into groups for various tasks around camp. I began with the building crew, cleaning up the Farmers smallcamp (our home for the last two weeks of our time there last year)--raking, lashing, etc. In the afternoon I joined the canvas crew. I enjoyed putting up the canvas last year, it was always a challenge--ugh, especially those damn tipis. They were nearly impossible for us newbies. Anyway, we didn't do any tipis this time, just the tents and kitchen flys. It was really interesting...Steve was with us to start, but then he left to do other stuff. Chief Rowland was there, in full stubborn working order, and five people who had never done canvas before, and me, who hadn't done it for a year. But it worked out fairly well. We did good.

There was a spaghetti dinner, and later a powwow. I learned some new songs and played some new games. During the day I got to talk to some of the new NCCC team members, who will be heading to TrailBlazers for the first three weeks of June. It was great. Mostly it made me miss my team a lot, and remember fondly all the crazy stuff from last year. One of my favorite things about NCCC is meeting the people, hearing stories about where people are from, what they've done. It's always fascinating.

Hm. There's more. But I can't think of it now, so I'll add it later.

05/19/03: Oops. That was gonna be a big update thing, but then I got distracted with pictures and then the stupid program went all splootchy on me, so oh well.

05/11/03: Happy Mother's Day everyone.

04/15/03: Happy Tax Day! Right now I could say, lalala, I did mine in February and got my refund in March, hahaha, but that wouldn't be nice at all, so I won't. :)

The other night I had a dream where I was vividly aware of being on the Isle of Lewis. It was strange, mostly because I've never been there and couldn't even point to it on a map. If asked, I may not even remember it's in Scotland. But in this dream I was driving around the Isle of Lewis, speaking with an accent and everything (but English, since I have trouble mastering the Scottish accent). I believe there was a Blockbuster video involved too, oddly. Maybe my brain is fully realizing its clairvoyancy or something. If I'm ever on Lewis and have a deja vu, I'll know it's real! Man, I'm weird. Maybe I'm just excited about New York and TrailBlazers. I am really excited for that, actually. TrailBlazers is so gorgeous, and it's so refreshing and wonderful and challenging to be in nature like that, it's so intense! I remember so much about it, in great detail; I'm almost scared to go back because it will literally hurt to be somewhere so familiar without my team. (Yes, here I go again. This is why I have an imaginary audience, because they won't get all exasperated with me for covering the same ground time and time again.) And I'm in that stage of not really believing it, you know? It's a big thing (just the idea of the long, middle of the night flight is a big deal), and it's in the future, and those things always seem the slightest bit unreal for me. Like it won't actually happen.

Speaking of AmeriCorps, I'm having a bit of an inner conflict. Well, not really, I guess it's just seeds of ideas taking place and wandering about. Last night I attended a meeting for team captains for Seattle Works Day (Seattle Works, remember, is the local chapter of City Cares. This event is a fundraiser/serve-a-thon event). The 'alumni' folk were talking about how much fun it is, how everyone gets dirty and grimy doing manual labor, how motivated everyone is to get lots of work done. And I just couldn't help remembering my whole last year. That was our life, doing grunt work, stuff no one else wants to do, trying to get motivated every single day to go out and give your all. It got boring a lot. There's a huge difference between less than half a day's work, one time a month, and forty hours a week for two months! Raking again, painting again, etc etc. But somehow I can remember it as being fun. We would play games or gossip or whatever. Some stuff was so unfun that it was fun--like scraping the paint off the dockboards. (That became symbolic in its infamy.) Scraping the paint in the basement of the lodge was satisfying, because it would come off in big chunks and spray out at you when you got going all fast.

Then I remember the service days--National Youth Service Day last April, Make a Difference Day in October, and the all-corps service day in November. For the first event, my team cleaned up a bird sanctuary in Baltimore. Man, we made such a difference! I think we filled five city dump trucks and eight pickup trunks with all the trash and debris. Remember, there was all kinds of junk--a refrigerator, a shopping cart, a tv, a vacuum cleaner, various parts of car (fender, wheels, grill), plus tons of just trash. Empty alcohol bottles and junk food wrappers.And we found those tiny baby kittens! At first it was so tedious, but then we got into it, seeing what we were really doing--actually making a whole neighborhood better. Same thing in November, we cleaned up several tens of tons of trash. Right in downtown Baltimore--tires, rats, needles, all sorts of non-beautifying items. That was an incredible day, I loved it. What a rush, to see the before and after difference!

What all this is about is how much I miss it. I miss my life being part of something bigger, something important, something incredible and unique. I miss the comraderie, the way no one else in the world can even begin to understand what last year was like. I miss the excitement of learning about our new projects, of packing that red bag with all three outfits for the next eight weeks. I miss the way that even routine, tedious stuff is mildly exciting, because you know that you don't realize what it really means until it's over. I really miss meeting the people--such a vibrant variety of humankind exists outside of my normal life! It's thrilling. While I enjoy my job right now, it's interesting and completely new to me, it's a job. I have a desk and a chair and a computer and a phone and I deal with paperwork all day. I know how to unjam the copier. I feel so utterly normal, boring, superficial, unspecial.

I want to recommit myself to service. Right after I save up some money and get some real experience for the Real World. I think I really want to go back to work for the world

04/04/03: Holy crap, it's already April. Time of bunnies and chocolate and daffodils--spring is in the air! I love it when the weekends are sunny and warm, it feels wonderful. I am so out of it that I still think it's winter. Maybe it technically still is, but all the fruit trees are blossoming, it's so pretty.

So let's see. Last weekend I got another new toy--a shiny new scanner! Since it's been awhile that I've hankered for one, I'm very excited. Have already uploaded all my Ameri-pics to my big spacious computer, and now am scanning the ones I didn't already have. Then I will go through my childhood pics and scan those too. Fun times for geeks like me!!

One big thing is happening relatively soon. The first weekend of May is Operation Muscle at TrailBlazers, the decentralized camp in the woods of rural New Jersey where Fire 4 toiled for our first spike. Operation Muscle is an event designed with two purposes in mind, at least as far as I can tell: first, to help get the camp ready for the summer (which believe me, is a huge, gargantuan task), and bring together alumni and generations of past and future campers, for whom TrailBlazers is a very special and meaningful place. And I will be there! I can't wait. I know it will be intensely, achingly familiar but completely different. At the very least, my team won't be there. I won't have to wonder what good I could possibly be doing by raking leaves in a darn forest (we learned last year how many things need to happen for a successful running of sessions, and unfortunately there are a lot of mundane things like cleaning and washing dishes that are necessary). So I'm excited, even for silly things like sleeping outdoors. I'm going to take a nice long weekend and also visit New York City for a bit.

Okay. I know that there's more I can talk about. But right now I can't even think of anything, my brain is addled after yet another crazy fast week at work. I'm hoping to have the energy and motivation to go in to work tomorrow instead of Sunday. As much as I know that the work needs to be done and that I could easily do a lot more, I selfishly want one single day free. Then, of course, that day speeds by and is over before I know it, and I have to work again. Goodness. This week was weird and busy, yet also more unproductive than most, because of a reshuffling of people and jobs and desks and phones. I'm at my fourth desk in my just-over-two-months at this job, and now I've started working with government files, which rather baffle me. I'm quite comfortable with conventional files and yet still know so little about those, which I've worked with for about two months. Egad.

For the past month, my sleeping patterns have been severly altered. Perhaps a mere handful of nights have found me sleeping soundly through the night. The rest of the time I just can't stay asleep. I certainly don't get up or anything, I'd much rather be in bed. But oh, it's so frustrating to know it's 5am, and I have to get up at 7, and pleasepleaseplease can't I just sleep, for crying out loud? If sound slumber were a vice, I would have freely admitted myself a sleep addict. The more, the better. I love looking forward to climbing into my bed, with the whale and leopard and dog (all stuffed of course) to keep me company. Realizing it's the middle of the night and I'm not asleep is just torturous for me. I always want to throw a tantrum or something when the alarm goes off and I get up, feeling like crap yet again. Argh.

03/14/03: Wow, has it been a long time! I haven't been able to update this site because of stupid computer problems. Happily, that problem has been solved, but more on that later.

As you all probably know ("you all" being the wide and varied audience of this silly site whom I've created in my sad imagination), I am working, it's been nearly two months now, actually! The job is through a temp agency at a mortgage company, conveniently located in downtown Renton, mere (heavily-trafficked) miles away. The money is pretty good, I think, for the work. For me, in terms of Life After AmeriCorps, it's amazing and, frankly, mind-blowing. I've never had a stable, routine, forty-hour-week job before, so the whole thing is new to me. But the money is one of the best parts, honestly. For example, last weekend, I went to Costco and bought a computer. Just like that. Didn't even need the credit card. (It's not top of the line or anything, just a lot more modern that the old one. Also I just bought a tower; there are already too many computer monitors in the world, so I'm still using the old one.) I can do things like that now, I am finally building a stable financial base. The next thing I need to do is start investing and refinance my car loan--talk about adult responsibility! But the flip side of the financial freedom is the job stress--working overtime, bringing work home, and the tendency of routine-induced boredom. A positive aspect of that, however, is that I'm learning a lot, and I feel like I'm doing a pretty good job. The mortgage business is pretty interesting, and obviously right now things are beyond hectic. Which makes it fun, when one doesn't stress out. As a temp, I don't really need to stress much, for the most part. Until the end of the month arrives, and things get insane again. EEK. So it's like I am a grown-up, who just feels fifteen.

I love my new computer!!! Yay.

Oh! And Dan, he's fairly new, too. :) Dan and I have been together for a month and a half, and it's going great. We took a weekend trip to Portland a couple weeks ago, which was fun and exhilarating. Visited the coast, breathtaking of course. The drama that surrounded our relationship (before it even started) has dissipated considerably, mainly because we've had to back out from the social group in which we met. It's sad to not see my other friends, but I figure we're all busy anyway and we'll still find time at some point to catch up.

So yeah, this whole war thing? It's just like I was talking about below...Bush and the boys just itching for a war, but for some reason won't say it. I read a quote of one of the bigwigs that said, obviously the object is to avoid a war. I don't believe that for a second. Do the math: more troops deployed, ships stationing themselves in the Red Sea, pompous speeches saying they don't need anyone's permission to go to war...I'm sorry, but it's ridiculous! Now with ever-mounting protests, petitions and vigils, I'm wondering if the baby-boomers are experiencing some deja-vu, you know? I really don't agree with this war plot, I think it's unnecessary and just an excuse for the conservative-led US to exert as much force on the rest of the planet as allowed. North Korea referred to America as "imperialist" for crying out loud! So yeah, they're threatening nuclear war and so seem a little on edge, so to speak, but that term really jumped out at me. Of course this is US imperialism. Why hasn't anyone noticed it before? Argh, I'm getting muddled and I really don't know what I'm talking about anyway.

01/19/03: So Happy New Year, a few weeks ago. It's 2003, we are well into the 21st century...is it what you hoped it would be? No flying cars, no beaming people from one place to another. But hey, it wouldn't be a new millenium without a political war encouraged by the USA, now would it? Does it seem to anyone else like the Bush administration is just goading Iraq and Hussein into the war they want? The US is like, ooh, you better go into hiding! Or else we'll attack you! And you have old, moldy and dusty, EMPTY warheads? Watch out, we're onto you, you're trying to set up chemical warfare, aren't you? Haha, we're not stupid! If you don't give up and surrender, we're gonna bomb you! And oh, we're going to start sending our pro-American xenophobes over to intimidate you, too. What, US aggression? No way. It's as if the Republicans are trying to create an 'emergency' so that they can credit themselves with saving the Western World from the 'evils' of the Middle East. Federally-mandated racial profiling, anyone? Really, we're not back in the the 1940s, I promise. I certainly don't condone any of the terrorist actions or political tyranny that has occurred in or originated in the Middle East, or anywhere. But I certainly do have a problem with the gross-stereotyping, name-calling, moral dichotomy (good vs evil, good must triumph) that the Bush administration advocates. People are just people. We're all aware that the Iraqis, as in, the actual people that live there, who are not terrorists, have suffered a great deal because of the US's macho swaggerings about destroying the evil Hussein domination. So why, after all the American terrorism-related deaths for which the US has sworn revenge, do we not care if civilians in other countries get injured and killed because of that revenge? Do we somehow think we're actually better than citizens of any other country just because we have a world superpower to hide behind? There is no excuse for the mass ignorance of American citizens when it comes to terrorism, world events, and international politics.

And SUVs supporting terrorism? Please. Way to attempt to manipulate the people into supporting your agenda, President Bush.

******

Well, travel is what I really meant to write about here. This week I battled my wanderlust instincts: having remained in the country for over a year and a half, I of course am yearning to explore some new territory. Namely, Vienna, Prague, Bavaria, the Netherlands, and Ireland. Early last week I very nearly bought a plane ticket to Europe, to spend a month over there in February-March. But, predictably, finances and lack of a risk-taking spirit eventually convinced me I couldn't. But never fear! I visited the offices of Rick Steves, intrepid traveloguer, in lovely Edmonds. While perusing guidebooks and rail maps of Europe, a staff member told my friend and I about the very realistic prospects of working abroad, doing things like au pair and menial labor like grape picking. That got me excited and motivated to go to Europe, for a longer period of time and soon. What I need to do is find a way to save up some money, to get a little cushion with which to travel to the afore-mentioned new places, and then support myself while looking for temporary work in London or Paris.

My holiday job at the Bon Marche is over now, so I am looking for a real job, but it is difficult and increasingly frustrating. The job market in Seattle is truly awful. There are lots of jobs advertised, but there are just too many people looking for those same jobs. I am staying afloat, for now, and am hoping I can scrape by for the next few months until I can put something together.

Another plan I am trying to be productive enough to implement is graduate school. I decided to focus on getting the GRE taken and out of the way. So there are some prep courses in early March that I'm looking into, and then I'm hoping I can take the actual test soon after those. The financial part of this plan is a little steep for little unemployed me, but it's time to GET THINGS DONE. Right-o. I have decided to pursue a Masters of Public Health, in some aspect of Community Health/Community Health Education. There are some great programs at UCLA and NYU, among others.

Today I had a cello lesson, which was a Christmas present from my dad (five lessons altogether). It felt strange and very familiar to pick up a cello. It felt good, and it came back to me surprisingly quick, reading the notes, the fingerings, the bow movements. It didn't sound very nice, but I suppose that will improve with time. All in all, it was satisfying and exciting to play the cello again, after seven years away.

Well, that's all for now, folks. I think I've prattled on quite enough for one sitting. Take care, y'all!

12/27/02: Well, merry Christmas, happy Hanukah, etc etc, and happy almost New Year. Another snow-less holiday season here in the Northwest, boo hoo.

I finished my second week working at the Bon. It's been a lot of fun, but quite tiring. My standing stamina has waned considerably; my feet hurt all the time. But I've really enjoyed it, so I guess it's not really a big deal.

The day after it arrived in theatres, I attended a showing of Lord of the Rings: Two Towers with a large group of friends. It was very good, very epic, amazing cinematography. Everyone loved it.

Not much has been going on; Work, sleep, ignoring the bedroom-sty resemblance, trying to catch up with friends and family. I'm quite tired lately, and it's hard work being tired all the time. Hm.

12/13/02: Ooh, it's Friday the 13th. I've been home for three weeks and a day.

I haven't been doing much. Mostly sleeping a lot, watching tv, applying for jobs, going online for no reason other than sheer boredom. I just got hired at the Bon Marche for holiday work. That will be interesting, I'm sure. Retail is something new for me, so that's good I guess.

Things at home are exactly the same and completely different, all at the same time. It's a bizarre phenomenon that I'm sure can only be shared by people who have gone through something like this. Speaking of AmeriCorps, I miss my team a lot! I've talked to a few of them a couple times, and it's great. Strange, though, because speaking with any of them on the phone makes it seem like everything is still happening, and that they're only the next street over back in Perry Point. I'm quite sure I talk about this year too much, but what else can I do? That was my life. And there's so much to remember, it's overwhelming. Anyway. I miss you guys!

So it's the holiday season! Hurrah for Christmas music, I guess. I've been listening to non-holiday music lately, which is unlike me. And I think I forget that it's less than two weeks until Christmas now. Of course, I have a hard time believing it's winter and December, though. Very weird.

11/16/02: The three-week-long weekend continues...Five Days Left!! Oh my gosh.

This past Wednesday was the All-Corps Year-End Service Project. I went to Baltimore with 120 others. We were gone for twelve hours...but it was a good day. Our project was neighborhood cleanup--so we picked up trash all day. It got stinky, weird and dangerous too, but it was fun. There were so many people working, and there was so much trash!! I couldn't believe it. We did some great work. The folks we worked for were so happy we were there. At the end of the day, they told us we'd picked up an estimated 20 tons of garbage and 400 tires, and saved the city at least $10,000. That felt great. I had a good time working alongside people I'd not really met or spent time with before. It's always fun to meet new people.

We just finally got our travel arrangements. The Seattle group will be flying out at 2.10 next Thursday, which means we have to leave the graduation reception around noon. I'm glad that I'll get to be with familiar people on the journey home. It is going to be so strange to go home!! There is nothing that won't change, compared to life in NCCC. That's a huge topic of conversation lately--things we'll do when we get home, things we'll miss, how we'll adjust to life without everything and everyone here. I hope that I have changed a lot and that I don't fall into the same boring, normal life I had before.

11/11/02: Ten days until graduation. I am BORED. It is unbelievably dull to be stuck here at Perry Point. Yes, the fall colors are pretty, but you can't just sit around and stare at trees for eight hours a day. Speaking of eight hours a day, work is even boring, because we aren't doing any. The team worked five hours on Wednesday, four on Thursday and two on Friday. Now, I know I should be grateful for all the free time, and goodness knows I'm grateful that we're not spending our days doing "village enhancements" (their euphemism for things like painting porches and basements). But geez, give us something to do! It's supposed to be crazy hectic, getting ready to leave! Instead of feeling all frazzled with lack of time to complete necessary tasks and errands, I feel lost in a quagmire or no-where land. The concept of going home is enticing but feels eons away, and the time here doesn't seem to move along at a normal pace. I've had a ten-day weekend, for pete's sake!

But on the other hand, there is supposed to be ample time for team activities and last-minute bonding. We've got a full schedule in the evenings this week, so maybe the extreme boredom will dissipate a little. I am enjoying being able to just hang out with friends. Mandi and Geo and I sit around and do crossword puzzles and other grandma-type activities. :) Sigh. It's great to just run over to someone's house to hang out or do something or meet someone--every house is less than a three-minute walk, so people are certainly accessible. Geez, it sounds like I'm talking about a commodity or something.

Really, I promise I'm not bitter or angry or anything...this thing sounds way more harsh than I feel. But I'm just so bored--okay, no more whining, I promise.

It's raining out right now. Yesterday was a lovely day, even at night it was hardly chilly. It really is very pretty here and I'm trying to memorize everything because soon enough Perry Point life will be just a memory.

11/06/02: Well, I got some great news yesterday...I have a Teach for America interview! I applied at the end of October and have been on tenterhooks waiting to hear back from them. I am ecstatic! The interview will be sometime in the first week of December, and I do believe it's rather a lengthy, involved one. But that's okay. :)

Today was my first day back at work this week; I took two personal days this week. (I had wanted to visit Lesley in DC, but I just can't afford it :( ) Boy, was it tough to get up at 7.30 again! We did our project debrief and year-end debrief, where we gave the staff feedback about the year--projects, trainings, team leaders, etc.

I finished my ISPs last week! This is exciting news, even though I'd wanted to be done long before now. But there are still some interesting things going on that I may do for ISP. I keep reminding myself, this is the test: once we don't have to, we still should. This program has taught me the wonderful benefits of volunteering out of the goodness of one's heart. So I am determined to back this up and live up to my, own standards, and keep working to make a difference in my community. For instance, New York Cares, with whom we have worked a few times, has a sister organization in Seattle, called Seattle Works (they have programs in most major cities). I really want to find out more about them when I get home and fully intend on working with them and other volunteer organizations. I highly encourage everyone to give up a few evenings or Saturdays to giving back! If I can do, anyone can do it. It's so easy and so rewarding. Maybe you missed Make a Difference Day (it was Oct. 26), so you can make up for it with your own day devoted to service.

11/03/02: Holy cow it's already November! And I'm 23 now, too. Something like 18 days left until graduation and heading home.

So we finished up Round 4. The last few weeks weren't very interesting. They were cold, though. Brr. The last three people on disaster came back, so we once again had all eleven of us together in the same house. I strained my back at work one day, lifting and mixing concrete, so I was out of work for two and a half days.

I got to spend two weekends in New York City! It was great, I love it there. I stayed with Kristin, who kept trying to persuade me to just move there already. Someday I will. When I have enough money! Did an ISP at the Central Park Zoo one morning, it was crazy busy and there were all kinds of people. It was a lot of fun. I even got to speak French!

So let's see. My birthday was also the travel day. It was a crazy day, very busy nonstop. The drive, once we finally got going, went fine. The lovely New England fall foliage was on display during the trip down the New Jersey Turnpike. The drive didn't last forever like some have. We went grocery shopping (woohoo! I am excited to have my own food to eat--not to mention dishes. The house in Bridgeport had like ten plates and six glasses--one for every two people. That sucked.). That evening the whole team (pretty much) met to go out for dinner for my birthday!! The team was great--they sang to me a few times and we had a nice toast. And someone got me a little cake, a black cat cake. Very cute. After dinner some of us went to the Rendez Vous and had a good time dancing and catching up with folks we haven't seen for two months.

The next few weeks are a lot of cleaning, and getting ready to go. I've already started packing some stuff away to ship out soon. Notably books and papers, which abound after nearly ten months. Did you know, I've read over fifty books this year in NCCC? At the end of the year I shall post the list. Anyway, and we'll be doing lots of team stuff, emotional closeout, reflection, bonding, etc. We've already started with the "remember when" craze. We all talk about how strange it will be to live on our own again. I'll be living in a house with just my mom. No AmeriCorps people, no uniforms, no team members, no one to play Boggle with (I have converted several teammates into avid Bogglers-woo!), no one who knows what I've just lived through. BUT-- I will be excited to see people, have a car to drive (one that's NOT a fifteen-passenger van), have a working washer/dryer in the house, a normal bed, no house inspections, no limits on food-shopping. I'm certainly ready to move on, we all are, but I know that the transition will be tough, lonely and sad.

10/18/02: Golly gee me, it's been nearly a month. As most of you probably know, I did get sent out for disaster relief, on the Mississippi Gulf Coast. I was there working for two weeks, and enjoyed it a lot. The weather was at times wonderful and at times smothering in its dogged humidity. We got evacuated when Hurricane Lili was due to hit Louisiana. I did good work, helped people, and met some great NCCC folks too.

When I left the South (woo!), I returned to Connecticut, where I joined my team in Bridgeport. We are working with Habitat for Humanity. I've been here a week now, it's fun so far, I'm having a good time. Unfortunately, we don't get to do things like start a house from the ground up, but we are putting finishing touches on several work sites, doing things like priming and painting, installing insulation, even putting in cabinets. The sponsors are great, they are really fun to work with.

In two weeks, we return to Perry Point for the final three weeks of Class VIII NCCC. We have just under five weeks until we leave here altogether. All too soon, Fire 4 will be but a fond memory. No more living with eleven people in one place, no more projects, no more government stipend (and that's the saddest part of all...). It is difficult to think about. I am sad to think of the team breaking up and returning from whence we came. However, it is exciting (though anxious and stressful) to consider Life After AmeriCorps. I'm trying to put some plans together, sending things out into the universe, for my future. We'll see how things develop.

Must run, check out the team site for lots of new and recent photos.

09/21/02: For pictures of the river work, click here.

This past week, in a mere three days, Fire 4 constructed a meditation labyrinth! (Pictures will be up soon, on the team site.) It was a lot of work with gravel and brick. We are all sore from the shoveling and raking. It was also a challenge to figure out how to lay the bricks to make the labyrinth even. Good times. We will be having a little ceremony to "open" it in a couple days.

It's finally Saturday!! I am so happy because we have a two-day weekend at long last. Five of us got up early this morning for ISP, but then got right back in bed once home. Ah. Spent some time in the Wallingford Public Library and so far nearly four hours on the computers. Sigh, aren't I a dork?

Yesterday three of my teammates and I were put on call for disaster relief for Hurricane Isadore, which is roaming the Gulf of Mexico right now. As of this morning, it seemed to be heading for the Yucatan peninsula, so the US Gulf states may not be in danger. But geez, I'm no meteorologist, maybe they are. I wouldn't mind going to coastal Florida to work for a few weeks!
I'm tired right now, so I'm going to stop. I'll add more later this week.

09/17/02: So. It's Tuesday now, except that I keep thinking it's Monday. But I'm glad it's not.

This weekend was...short. Saturday was the Wallingford Family Day celebration at Community Lake park, and our sponsors wanted us to be there to help out. Conveniently, there was a great article printed about us that morning. People at the park thus knew about us and thanked us and expressed gratitude and appreciation for our work. That felt very nice. I did a couple different things during the afternoon. For about half an hour, I got dressed in the giant koala costume and wandered around. I had fun waving at everyone and getting hugs from the kids, and dancing too. It was really difficult to see out of the head, and it was hot in there. So I got out. But I was surprised at how fun it was. Anyway. Mandi and I made sno-cones for awhile, and then helped out at the lake. Some of my teammates somehow found the energy to get in canoes and lead people around the little lake. It was quite popular, and the people seemed excited to be able to go for a canoe ride.

So we only had Sunday off. I had a nice day, I think. Went for an exploratory drive with Geo and Mandi, that was fun. I was not excited about having to go to work the next day. I was excited to sleep in for at least one day, though.

Monday it rained, so we could not work on the labyrinth. The Quinnipiac River Watershed Association is the organization that sponsors our team. They govern the Quinnipiac River Linear Trail, which is in Community Lake park. On the trail, there's a big spot with a couple benches, and one of our missions of this project is to construct a labyrinth, or serenity maze. (Except it's not a maze, it's just concentric circles.) It's for meditation, and according to the books that we saw, walking them is a metaphysical, life-transforming experience. So while we're all a little skeptical, we're excited about getting to build it and do it.

This morning we did get started. There was a big sand pit where the labyrinth will be. In the sand, we practiced drawing the circles and laying bricks. When we thought we had finished, we walked it to see if it worked. It did, and it was neat. Much different than I'd expected. We weren't meditating on anything, so it wasn't life-changing as yet, but definitely interesting. Then we laid gravel on the sand and used a tamping machine to press it down. That took the bulk of the day, shoveling gravel around, trying to get it level. But we made a lot of progress, and it looks good. I can't wait to see the finished product!

09/12/02: It is Thursday, and we have been in Wallingford, CT since Sunday evening. We are having a great time so far, loving the project and the location. By the by, I've been to Wal-Mart three times already. Crazy! Tonight I bought a new camera (my old one, and I do mean old, fell in the river two days ago; the viewfinder was fuzzy with sawdust or something, and the thing was at least seven years old) and I'm really excited. :)

We have been canoeing on the Quinnipiac River. There's a five-mile section of the river that has been clogged with logjams and excessive debris for many years, and no endeavor to improve it has succeeded. In steps Fire 4! It is slow-going and often frustrating. There are so many fallen trees! Some of them have been near or actually impossible to remove or clear sufficiently, but for the most part, we have cleared up a lot of jams. It feels great to leave a site that only a few minutes (anywhere from 10 to over 60) earlier, was impassable by canoe, and now is.

The canoeing has been an adventure in itself. I had been in a canoe once before, when I was approximately seven years old. Incidentally, on that family canoe trip down some river in Michigan, we saw a blue frog. It was neat and no one has ever believed any of us. Anyway, so I was obviously a novice at this canoeing stuff. The Quinnipiac is extremely bend-ridden (to my beginner eyes), so it was quick learning. When I'm in the canoe, my partner and I still end up running into banks and sandbars and debris, but for the most part, the whole team has visibly improved in navigating the canoes in the river. Each night we are more sore, but I can see my muscles getting bigger. Interestingly, my right bicep is both larger and firmer than my left. Each night we are exhausted and can't wait to get to bed, and yet somehow never get to bed early enough.

There is an Irish pub three doors down, and we've gone there a few times to relax and have a nice chat with teammates. The Wal-Mart is another popular destination here in Wallingford, and there is a big public library that I hope to get to at some point. It's a really nice town. We are housed in a homeless shelter (it doesn't open until October, at which time we'll already be in Bridgeport working with Habitat), and it is really nice actually; though communal, it is definitely the nicest accomodation we've had yet. The prestigious Choate School provides us with tasty dinners, and our awesome sponsors make sure everything else is taken care of.

This afternoon, we got to go climbing at a local gym, courtesy of our sponsors and the Parks & Rec people. It was great fun and a fantastic workout. I was altogether worn out at the end of the two hour session. I really enjoyed it though, and I hope that someday I'll get to do more and get better.

In general, things are going really well in all aspects. I certainly hope that continues. Stay tuned for more adventures.

09/08/02: Wow, how time does fly. This morning Fire 4 will be leaving for the fourth round project in lovely Connecticut. The first part of the round is clearing a land and river trail, and the second is working with Habitat for Humanity in Bridgeport. We are excited!!

Sadly, I returned to camp after a mere ten days on disaster relief. The Red Cross sort of ran out of things for my group to do. But I had a fabulous time meeting NCCC people from my campus, and hanging out in San Antonio with them. I really hope to get called out next round.

The third round went okay, it wasn't our best, but it was enjoyable for the most part. We had some team difficulties, but we're working on that. During the last session of camp, I moved into a cabin with counselors in the Woodlands unit. It was great to just sit around and talk about everyone's cultures, from peeing in the woods to African jungle life to Russian swear words to "Donald, where's your trousers?" I really enjoyed it. For the last two weeks of the round, the team moved to another Girl Scout camp, this one on Cape Cod. Our mission there was maintenance work, which ended up being painting/staining work. The sponsors were awesome and so nice. We stayed in platform tents, which were quite nice when there were no skunks in them. It was exciting to see a new place and to explore the Cape. We went on some of the many bike paths, it was very pleasant. We also frolicked on the beach, at the Atlantic Ocean! That was great, I loved that.

Eleven hours in the van later, we arrived back in Perry Point a week ago. Greeted by spider webs and crickets inside the house, but lovely weather that feels much better than the sauna it was two months ago. This week we took a field trip to DC and visited the Corporation for National and Community Service. Very inspirational.

We are all surprised that it's already fourth round and that there are less than three months until we leave. Graduation is Thursday, November 21st.

07/22/02: So the new project is in New Hampshire, at Camp Wabasso, a Girl Scout camp. It is very different than being at Trail Blazers; we live in the lodge with electricity and walls and all that good modern technological stuff! Being camp staff is certainly different than maintenance staff, too. It's pretty fun working with the kids, but it can be a challenge to keep them interested and to stay patient with the bratty ones. But for the most part, the girls are great, I made some camper friends pretty quickly. They were the 9 and 10 year olds, and they are really sweet.

Our job at camp is to be program staff. So we decide on programs for each day, one arts and crafts, one game/physical activity. That part seems to go over well with both the campers and the counselors. We've done things like make paper and the wacky olympics. It's so strange to "work" all day without doing anything like building or whatever. I for one got used to having goals like "build this shelter" or "rake this smallcamp" to be accomplished by the end of the day, but now we just get up and hang out with kids all day. Oh boy, and the dining hall. That is an experience! The volume level can get deafening, especially at dinner, when the kids are all keyed up. There are many songs and little games they all play and sing all throughout the meal. My least favorite one was one of the camper favorites, called Bob the Can, sung to the tune of Barbara Ann by the Beach Boys. Bob the Can, he's not a man, Bob the Can...he's got me scraping and a-stacking, stacking and a-scraping, Bob the Can. Hoo boy is that song annoying after the fifth time in an hour!

In other news...I am in Texas right now! Half the team got called the day we left for New Hampshire, so only six of us made the drive and started the project. I got put on the call list the first day we were there but didn't actually get called for another week. Just enough time to get settled and used to things and stuff. So I took four four flights to get here--Boston to Cincinnati to New Orleans to Dallas to San Antonio. What a long day. We've been here in San Antonio for four days now, and we still don't really know what's going on. They've had massive flooding all over South Central Texas, and that's what we're here to help with. The San Antonio stuff seems to be pretty much under control, but the water in Corpus Christi hasn't gone down yet, so we're hoping to go down there. The team I'm working with is doing damage assessment. Most of them are from the other unit and so I didn't know any of them before. But they're all really great and we're having a fun time here. We've gone out on the town a little bit, seen some Riverwalk life. It is really hot here and oh how we love our air conditioners.

Our assignment is for three weeks, so I'll be here for awhile, and hopefully soon we'll get busy with work. But until then, lots of tv and naps are in my future! Oh, and driving all over the place.

Today our group went out to Uvalde County to assess damage. The girl I was driving with, our car got stuck in some mud on this little back road. Like, really stuck. Up to the fender on one side stuck. Some wonderful folks came by with a big red pickup and saved us. In the process I got sprayed with mud from head to toe, literally. Today was definitely an adventure. Good times here in Texas!

07/05/02: Well. It feels like I've been away from AmeriCorps for a really long time. I miss my team! It is truly strange to not have any of them around me. I'm looking forward to seeing them again in a few days.

In the meantime, I am continuing to sort through my crap. I'm going to have to attempt to empty out my room in the next three days, so that Mom won't have to deal with any of my stuff when she moves her stuff to Spokane. It's a big ordeal, and my energy level has sapped. As much as I've gotten rid of, there's still a whole bunch of stuff I need to keep. Things like photo albums, interesting papers, some clothes and a lot of books. Not to mention the computer and CDs. Sigh. What a process.

It is so beautiful here! I love the trees and the mountains and the gorgeous vistas everywhere. I really missed the scenery when I was on the East Coast; it's pretty enough there, but it just can't compare to the Pacific Northwest. I am not looking forward to leaving the mountains behind for another five months.

My Fourth of July was nice and boring, just the way I wanted. I didn't do anything. I did take myself out to dinner, but other than that, I sat around and cleaned, rewrote an old, kick-ass paper, and watched a movie. I love quiet time, and I figure I should soak it up now, because I won't have any quiet time or alone time for another two months or so. Whew!

It's Friday today, and on Monday I fly back to Maryland. It will be a long, long day; not only do I travel all day, but I'll have to get back, walk back to my house, unpack, then repack for spike, and visit with all my teammates. Oh, and maybe dinner in there somewhere too. But it will all be worth it! I'm so glad that I have my friends to go back to, and that we have this new exciting adventure to embark upon.

07/01/02: Miracle of miracles, I made it. Survived the last week at camp and successfully completed transition week back at campus.

The last week was fairly good, and it sped by, to my relief. The staff had a honorary dinner for the team and presented us with TrailBlazers t-shirts. I say, free t-shirts are the best and never-mentioned benefit of this program! Anyway, later that night we held a special powwow--just the team and two of the sponsors. It was fun and memorable.

Friday morning that we left, we all got up at 4.30 to drive up to Sunrise Mountain to watch...the sunrise. We were exhausted but anticipating the view. Sadly, the sun rose behind a bank of trees and so we pretty much missed it. But it was pretty up there, all misty in the early-morning fog. Arriving back in Perry Point, I was thrilled. I went into my house (my house! a real house! not a cabin or a hogan!) and was practically blinded by the whiteness of the walls and the general neatness and non-forest-being-ness. It was so strange to see real walls again, and have electricity everywhere again. It felt wonderful, as did my bed. Ah.

Transition week was quite boring and uneventful. And really freaking hot and humid. Everyone was worn out and tired all the time. We speculated that being on spike and coming back was a bigger adjustment than we'd thought. Had debriefs and briefings and painted some porches, and then it was time for summer break!!

This past Friday I took the train into Washington, DC and met up with my friend Lesley, who lives in the lively Adams Morgan district. We ate at a cute little Cajun place and caught up on everything. Then back at her place, we drew on the walls, since painters were coming early the next morning. That was a lot of fun. On Saturday we met up with a friend of hers for lunch, then I set out for Dulles Airport. Made it just fine and the plane left sort of on time.

And then I was back! I picked up my car, and that was so awesome. After driving the 15-passenger government van, my little Saturn feels like a race car. Which I love. I love my car!!! Anyway, got to see family folks and talk to some friends. Am trying to arrange schedules to see people but it's slow going. Running errands and picking things up for my return to NCCC. Sorting through my tons of junk and crap and clothes and taking out all that I don't need anymore. One of these days, I'm turning ascetic, I swear. Being in AmeriCorps and living in the woosd really made it clear that loads of material possessions are just unnecessary and take up too much room, physically and emotionally. I'm cleansing my spirit as well as my closet!

June 25, 2002: Last week we finished up work at Trail Blazers. We got the basement of the lodge painted, removed boulders and reseeded the lawn in front of the dining hall, finished the dishes in the boys' side kitchen, raked some leaves, removed old shingles from under the dining hall, removed a small wood pile (well, loaded it to be unloaded at the big wood pile).

Early in the week we did a team initiative. The task was to get everyone from one platform to the other, using the rope that hung between them. Once we reached the other side, Ashley gave us each a secret clue word about our next project. When we were all across and after the reflection, each of us acted out our cluewords and then put them all together to figure out the project. We will be couselors at a Girl Scouts Camp in New Hampshire!

Our last night was Thursday. We cleaned out Farmers and Chimney Corner and had to spend the night in the dining hall. The dinner was a special one in our honor, where the staff thanked us and we thanked them and there was lots of love. Later on we had a powwow in Farmers, where we sang a couple songs and played a couple games and reflected about our time at TrailBlazers. Good times.

Friday morning we all got up before dawn and drove up to the top of Sunrise Mountain to watch the sunrise. Unfortunately, the sun rose behind the trees and so the view was not nearly what we had hoped. But still, it was nice. Finally it came time to leave camp. We said our goodbyes to the staff and pulled off. We arrived in Perry Point to a lovely day and soon after left for grocery shopping. I was very excited to be back in the civilized world, with real walls and electricity and all that.

06/16/02: Happy Father's Day!

This is the last week here at Trail Blazers. The staff has arrived, in droves, and so we no longer have any place to go for peace and quiet and alone time. It has been a difficult adjustment. For me, it has served to get me all the more ready and excited to get back to Perry Point. I am really looking forward to seeing the campus and my house and all my stuff (well, not all of it, but a lot more of it for sure), and all the other NCCC folks that I haven't seen for two months. This project really has gone quickly.

We have been living out in smallcamp for a week and a half. It is interesting, very rustic. All the rain we've been having has left several of my teammates' beds sopping wet, so it is also uncomfortable at times. We have to sleep under mosquito nets out there too. But for the most part we are in the dining hall or lodge, we don't spend much time in smallcamp except to sleep. And I've been surprised at how well I've been sleeping, which is a blessing.

In the past couple weeks, we have been very busy. We finished the lean-to that needed rebuilding. And it does look superb, I am very proud of our team. We also constructed a wash-basin rack, rebuilt tipis, painted the body and wheels of seven covered wagons, prepped smallcamps for staff training, cleaned the same buildings a few more times, raked more leaves, finished putting up all the canvas in all the smallcamps, got interviewed for a local paper (the article is pretty dumb, but hey, we were in the paper!), and more. It's been a fruitful project. I am very eager to find out what Round 3 holds in store for us.

I am also extremely eager for my visit home. In less than two weeks, I shall arrive at Sea-Tac International Airport, my home turf. It is going to be great to be in familiar land again. I look forward to the mountains and evergreen trees, and to exploring some of our beautiful natural wonders. Plus seeing my family and friends will be wonderful. I won't be driving back like I'd originally planned, so I'll have over a week to visit everyone and do everything that I want to do. Can't wait!

Only five days until Perry Point!!! And a mere four working days left!!!

June 15, 2002: We successfully moved into Farmers and our hogans...just in time for a whole bunch of rain. Mostly it's been cold, rainy and damp at night, but we have somehow survived.
It's been a busy few weeks, the entire staff has arrived and our two fire guys are finally back with the team. We have been doing a lot of small-camp set up; tipis built, canvas up, mosquito net poles lashed, beds set, more raking. Seven covered wagons got painted and set up in various smallcamps for the campers to sleep under.

Eight members of Fire 4 participated in a ropes course element. Everyone was nervous and scared up there, but I am proud to report that we all did our best to overcome our fears. It was a lot of fun and we hope to do another element this week.

Only one more week at TrailBlazers! It is very strange to think of the project coming to an end. I think we've really gotten used to everything here, which is a testament to our adaptability. Everyone is looking forward to finding our next project and the quickly-approaching summer break.

June 4, 2002: I can't believe it's June already, and that there are less than three weeks to the project left. Strange! Anyway, things are going pretty well.

Last week Fire 4 went to New York City! We were excited. The first day we spent around town. One group spoke to classes at a high school in Queens, and another group tabled at a high school in the Bronx. Both were successful. Later, everyone met up at the TrailBlazers headquarters in Manhattan, where the year-round staff (Craig, Mary Anne, Sherry, Cecilia and Dennis) spoke with us about their jobs and answered our questions about the way TrailBlazers works. They were very friendly and informative, and we really enjoyed talking to them.

We also had some time to play in the city, and of course we loved that. Some team members will be moving there as soon as they can afford it. We also want to return to explore more. Central Park and the Statue of Liberty are on the list of things to see. A lot of time was spent walking around Times Square, where some of us met interesting strangers and made a memorable t-shirt.

So far this week has been very productive. We are thrilled to report the completion of our first lean-to! I must say, it turned out perfectly. Fire 4 is very proud. We have been continuing to get all the small camps set up and ready for staff training. Wagons have been painted and so has the girls' side dock. Lots of things are getting done, and we are having a good time.

Tomorrow we move out of Chimney Corner and into Farmers (one of the small camps). I'll report back soon!

06/02/02: My goodness I cannot believe that June is here. And that our NCCC term has been four months already. Time is so weird!

So yeah, it's been four weeks out here in the forest at camp, only three weeks left until our return to Perry Point and the week after that we have summer break. Everyone is excited to go home! Anyway, the project is going well. The past week and a half, the weather has finally warmed up, we no longer have to huddle under a pile of blankets and several layers of clothing at night. It's been lovely and warm and sunny. I am loving it. The trees and all the green is so wonderful.

This past weekend, Fire 4 went to New York City!! It was awesome. We spent a day doing work stuff--two groups spoke at high schools about AmeriCorps, and we also visited the TrailBlazers headquarters to speak with the full-time staff. They were so friendly and it was great to hear about their jobs and how it relates to camp. It was also nice because they are so thankful for all of the work we've been doing. That helps when the stuff here gets tedious and boring. What we do here really is important.

We had another day and a half to play, woohoo! We had such fun. Hung out a lot in Times Square, eating at McDonald's, walking around, seeing sailors and talking to strangers. Fun times. We didn't get much sleep, but who cares, it was worth it.

May 21, 2002: This week, it will have been four months that we have been in NCCC. Doesn't that sound like a long time? AmeriCorps time is very different than Real Time.

Last week we sent off Seth and Joe to disaster relief in Virginia. We miss you, guys! Could have used the claw the other day on raking duty.

Last week was spent getting ready for Operation Muscle, which was this weekend. Food was prepared. Got small camp canvas and bedding started, got some raking done, got some latrines cleaned and stocked. We finished scraping the girls' side dock. And oh my, that was a terribly exciting job. Some folks also spent some time working on the library, getting all those piles of books organized and shelved. It's going to be a long process, that. Operation Muscle itself went swimmingly, even though it rained on Saturday. There was a lot of cleaning done. We also got bed frames out to most of the small camps. Fire 4 was excited to be joined by most of Fire 2, who visited for ISP hours. It was a great time, to see our compatriots and work with new folks. Yay. Realized again how isolated we are. But really, it's okay. On Sunday, it was sunny but still quite chilly, and we got to do some raking. More small camp set up, more cleaning of buildings. Lots of basic work, but with forty people a lot got done. We felt very good about that. Plus we got to meet more TrailBlazers people, both staff and alumni and boardmembers. What an amazing program this is, I was floored by the depth of people's loyalty to and faith in TrailBlazers Camp. I am so honored to be affiliated with it, even peripherally.

So Monday and Tuesday have been our days off. There were a few town trips and even our first ISP event of this project round. The work was filling potholes to the road leading to the Poconos Craft Center, a few miles away. This week is a short week, and then there's a holiday weekend. Woo!

May 11, 2002: On Friday, the weather was perfect, sunny and warm, cool under the shade of the forest. More progress was made on the docks, pressure spraying and scraping to get rid of the paint. That was the intention, anyway, the scraping didn't seem to work so well. Another group continued clean up the small camps, throwing around bucked trees and branches and the like.

And then it was Friday night! We went out to Milford and painted the town Fire 4 Red.

May 9, 2002: Yesterday, Wednesday, our short work week commenced. We began the task of cleaning up the small camps. Jean taught us all to do square lashings and we re-lashed the camp's kitchen tables. It was great fun. We also raked some leaves. And then we raked some more leaves. After that, we pushed around fallen tree bits with garden implements. We finished up the day with some leaf-raking.

Today it rained, so we split into a few groups and did some random work around the camp. We pressure-sprayed the docks on both sides of the lake, built a fence for the new donkey pen, and cleaned up debris and dead wood from some of the small camps. What a shame, to have an entire day void of raking.

05/08/02: For a more complete description of what I and the rest of my team have been doing, look at our team website journal.

In short, we have been here in New Jersey for a week now. The camp is great, but definitely rustic. It's a short hike just to get to the shower house. We are literally in the middle of the woods, so it's very pretty. It's also very tick-infested. One day four of us found ticks feeding on us in the shower. Gross! There is a bat and a family of flying squirrels living in our cabin (it's called Chimney Corner, who wants to guess why?), not to mention all the little bugs we don't see. So it makes for interesting evenings. It gets really cold here at night, we all have sleeping bags and piles of wool army blankets. Recently we had some nicer weather, it was quite warm.

We are indeed out in the middle of nowhere. My cell phone doesn't get service anywhere except the Wal-Mart and the Shop Rite, so far. Milford, the nearest town, is small but very cute. We've explored it a teeny bit. I got my hair cut there this weekend. There is a movie "theatre" that shows one movie at a time. Even a pizza place.

I like it here, it's definitely an adjustment: Hard work (raking leaves til my brain explodes) and not showering every day, no hot water or heat in the cabin (brr!), a communal food supply that dwindles amazingly fast, daily tick checks. Adventures aplenty, I love it!

May 7, 2002: On Wednesday, May 1, Fire 4 left Perry Point (eventually) and began the arduous journey to the outback of New Jersey, to Camp Trail Blazers, located in Montague and just across the Delaware River from Milford, PA. Upon arrival, we met one sponsor, Jean, a witty Brit. She showed us around part of the camp, including our cabin and the shower house on the 55-acre Lake Mashipacong (I think that's what it's called, anyway). We are living in Chimney Corner, which is the infirmary when camp is in session. There are critters running around it--bats, flying squirrels, spiders--but that just makes it a more authentic experience, don't you think? That evening we met Steve, another sponsor, and his family, who cooked us all a great dinner. Just after dinner we had our first bear sighting! This part of the forest is heavily populated with black bears, so we knew to expect them, but I don't think we figured we would see one right away, and at such close distance. We cannot keep foodstuffs in the cabin or anywhere except the kitchen, because the bears will smell it and break in. And that would not be good news.

Friday morning we had breakfast and met the young people in the Leadership Training Program. These folks are regular campers who came from the city for the weekend to plant the gardens. As the weather was too wet on Friday, our group and their group split up into teams to clean out some buildings and tidy some of the trails. Saturday was a gorgeous day, and we got both the boys' side and girls' side gardens planted. On the boys' side, our group had to till the soil by hand (well, by hoe, really) and put in rows for planting. Both gardens got tomatoes, peppers, onions, carrots, herbs, squash, cucumbers, corn, and some flowers too. We were very proud of our work at the end of the day.

Sunday morning all of us successfully did the Challenge Wall. We hope to do it again, as a team. After lunch, the LTPers returned to New York, and we started a big list of clean up. More building cleaning and lots more raking. It wasn't the most exciting or fulfilling work, but it looked awesome when we were done. That sense of accomplishment is great. I'm all about tangible results.

Monday and Tuesday were our days off. Just after noon on Monday, seven Fire 4 members set off down the highway for three miles. We finally met up with the Appalachian Trail and hiked about two miles to the lookout on the top of Sunrise Mountain. It was a long, not-exactly-easy-but-not-difficult hike, and the vista at the top made it worth the exertion. It was as amazing as we'd heard from the campers. We are hoping to rise early one day to actually see the sun rise from Sunrise Mountain. When we got back to camp, after hiking about 12 miles altogether, the seven of us devoured four boxes of mac and cheese, and crashed a few hours later. Today most of us are pretty sore but feeling good.