Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Conflict Mode: Part 3 of 5: Avoiding

Avoiding is unassertive and uncooperative -- the person neither pursues his own concerns nor those of the other individual. Thus he does not deal with the conflict. Avoiding might take the form of diplomatically sidestepping an issue, postponing an issue until a better time, or simply withdrawing from a threatening situation.

At school, I often try to do this. Since I know I tend to get irritated and there's so much potential conflict (with adults), I'll do the complete opposite and shrink back, trying to be invisible. During preps that I have to leave my room, I put on my headphones and go to the couch to do my work, facing away from the room. Leave me alone.

I do this in my personal life too. When I don't feel I fit in, I think to myself, better get away. In high school once, I remember I put my coat over my head because I felt like I didn't belong and shouldn't be there.
I'm kind of an introvert with bursts of extravertist tendencies, and occasionally I'll snap from the latter to the former with a bang. It's not fun and I know it's pathetic, but it's easy to sink into the "I'm not good enough/No one likes me/I don't know what I'm doing/No one's listening to me/No one likes me."
I just disengage and pretend it doesn't bother me.

1 comment:

AMPlifier said...

I can definitely relate to this one. I have a tendency to withdraw as a coping mechanism, and I also have the introvert/extrovert dichotomy going on!