Turns out I was just hungry and tired. Ha!
Seriously, I've been starving all week. I swear I eat snacks during the day when I can, and some days I eat a real-ish dinner, though it's late. But I often have that gnawing, hollow hunger feeling. Like right now.
Earlier this week, I wore some Ann Taylor trousers that I bought earlier in the summer. Did I mention the summer job I got at the last minute? It took place at a college campus and eating at a dining hall proved to be as way-too-easy as it was ten years ago when I was actually a college student. So I definitely felt my waistlines tighten that month, but when I bought these pants they just perfectly fit. This week, they were a teeny bit loose in the waist. However, on Friday I wore another pair of Ann Taylor pants, and they were a little snug. Harrumph.
Incomprehensibly, I stayed up til midnight last night, and then slept for what felt like half a day, but was in reality eight hours or so (and don't worry, I stayed in bed for another hour just resting). Goodness me, I love weekend lie-ins!
I posted on Wednesday about having not such an awesome day, but on Thursday I looked back and thought about each period that I taught and saw that those parts of the day were actually fine or good. It was the staying for three hours after school that made me so grumpy and angry and irritated. Which I think is completely understandable, right? :)
I have noticed that my endless patience is finding some ends after all. I find myself snapping like the middle school teacher I used to be. The nice thing is that since they hadn't heard that tone from me before, it startled them and made them stop and pay attention. I know it's not what the school wants, but that's not really such a big deal to me (after trying to conform to a school was such a disaster last year). I just want to find the right balance in dealing with the kids and making them stay on track.
I have a second Kid that I need to mention. There have been some positive developments in Chatty Chad, so we don't have to deal with him for a little bit. But there is another boy who I need to discuss who is also chatty but not in that Special Reasons way. I shall call him...Loud Leo. Because he always has something to say. Always. And only has one volume. He just doesn't appear to have an Inside Voice, because then the rest of the class couldn't hear him and he wouldn't have an audience. He's actually a really good kid sometimes; he's always generous, he can be really helpful, and he's a good writer. Naturally, he participates a lot too.
I have to remind him all the time about raising his hand to speak. Usually, after a few reminders he does start raising his hand. But he's one of those that will say loudly during a class discussion, "I'm raising my hand and she's not calling on me!" He can also be really mean, calling people names either to their faces or behind their backs. He is very opinionated and has no hesitation in speaking exactly what is on his mind. This can be really trying when that information is not appropriate.
Also, the last hour of the day, pretty much every day, he loses all control. Does no work, doesn't stop playing and talking and giggling, and ignoring repeated reminders and redirects. It's something I'm planning on talking to him about, during a calmer time, to come up with some kind of system to keep him on track.
Speaking of systems. I mentioned that I started a consequence scale, which is going pretty well. It's not always very useful for Loud Leo, but for the other kids it's okay. I just move their name silently. Or sometimes I'll stalk over there and say, "Unfortunately I have to move some names because I keep having to speak to them." My sticker chart is trickier, because I can't go overboard stickering the good kids, because they have two or three times the stickers that the other kids do.
Under suggestion, I started yet another system for individuals. And someone wants me to start ANOTHER system for the class.
See, here's the thing. I love rewards and positive systems. I love having things for individuals, groups, and the whole class. What I don't love is having even more shit to keep track of, to carry around, to remember to reinforce, to hear questions about from the kids. My mind is just about past capacity already and I often don't have pockets. I lose my clipboard five times a day because I put it down all over the classroom. I have to make myself a list of things to remember to do, and I have to literally talk myself through it. I can't even complete one task at a time; I start doing one thing and then get distracted with another task, and then have to loudly and firmly tell myself to go finish the first thing.
I like getting feedback and suggestions. I need the suggestors to understand that while I might really like their idea, I can't do everything they want. And that needs to be okay with them.
Let's see. What else? Oh. I have a small class right now. And while the kids individually are all pretty sweet, and there is a group of really good, hardworking kids in there, overall my grasp on them feels a bit tenuous. With Chatty Chad and Loud Leo as examples, more kids are trying to play around and not work during class. But since the class is small, you and I and everyone else all know that it won't last, because they'll want to cram any and all kids into the class. The unknown and new, when it comes to groups of kids, is pretty much never a good thing. This happened to me the last year at First Middle School, and it definitely ruined the pleasant intimacy of the class. So I'm girding myself for even more difficulties. The bf rolls his eyes and tells me not to think about it, and to think about what's going well right now, but come on. Who knows what I'll walk into next week!
In general I guess things have been going okay. The actual teaching parts of the day are the best parts. It's the in-between things that give chance for difficulties, as always. Some of our transitions are getting better, though. I started doing the counting thing to move them from one place to another, and like the last five years, it's a great trick. "In five seconds, find your place on the carpet. Go. Five..."
Tomorrow I have to buckle down and try to get some work done. I have some ideas already written down for next week, and I will try to finish plans for the entire week. That would make me feel incredible! I'm getting closer to not feeling like I'm desperately flailing to keep up and on top of things. Unhappily I have a big thing of paperwork to complete. I HATE that. I really hate that the school requires us to do it but gives us ZERO time to do it in school, meaning we have to work on our own (very limited) time. It's supposed to keep us being good teachers, but if I'm spending all this time working on paperwork, then that's a lot less time I'm actually trying to prepare for the children, and a lot less energy I have to work with them.
Can I just say that I'm starting to get really bitter that I'm at school for at least eleven hours a day trying to do the basics, and they want to require all this EXTRA stuff from us, but not give us ANY time during the day to do it? Every time I think about it, I can feel the rage rising along with my blood pressure. Argh.
However, in general, I'm still in a calmer place mentally than I was last year. When I took this job, it was with the mindset that it's a job, and I will do my best, and see what happens. I'm trying not to get overinvolved mentally. But...that has wavered lately as the stress sets in. :)
Boy, this has turned into a ramble, hasn't it? I'm going to try to be better about recording actual things that I do or want to work on. We'll see how the time works out in the evenings.
For now, thank GOODNESS it's the weekend, and thank extra goodness that we have an extra day! Hallelujah!!
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Seriously Guh
Today was not so great. Not in the throw-people-out-the-window way, but in a I'm-tired-of-this-is-it-Friday way.
I'm tired in my brain, overwhelmed. The novelty has worn off, and the rest of the everlasting year seems like this giant, steep, and unfriendly mountain looming over me.
It wasn't the worst day ever. Or even the worst day this week. There were some decent points, I admit. We did have another great writing workshop today. They kept going and I had to make them stop after half an hour because we were late for something else. Also I had a yummy cupcake.
This week I have gotten some positive feedback about a lesson (which was a huge relief)(but not necessarily , and also some feedback that would make me take on even more things in the classroom for those kids who need it. And I'll tell you right now, I do not have the time or brainpower for it. I'm just about at the point where I can't keep track of everything and I feel like I'm losing my mind. I was at school for twelve hours again and it took an hour to get home. I can not keep doing that. Like I keep saying, sanity must come first.
I'm tired in my brain, overwhelmed. The novelty has worn off, and the rest of the everlasting year seems like this giant, steep, and unfriendly mountain looming over me.
It wasn't the worst day ever. Or even the worst day this week. There were some decent points, I admit. We did have another great writing workshop today. They kept going and I had to make them stop after half an hour because we were late for something else. Also I had a yummy cupcake.
This week I have gotten some positive feedback about a lesson (which was a huge relief)(but not necessarily , and also some feedback that would make me take on even more things in the classroom for those kids who need it. And I'll tell you right now, I do not have the time or brainpower for it. I'm just about at the point where I can't keep track of everything and I feel like I'm losing my mind. I was at school for twelve hours again and it took an hour to get home. I can not keep doing that. Like I keep saying, sanity must come first.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
You Know What's Awesome?
--New cute shoes that don't hurt
--Leaving before 6.30!!!
--Eating dinner (man, I'm hungry again...)
--My class today
--Dealing with my class without Chatty Chad
Today was a great day! We worked hard, but also had a good time. (Except for some name-calling...but they're elementary kids. I'm working on it, but I doubt that I can eliminate that completely, sadly)
Since there direction/map knowledge seemed to be nil, I did a neat lesson about that today. A few days ago, I put up direction signs on the classroom walls. We talked about what is a compass, and then I asked them to find the one I'd put in the room. I asked them to stand up, and one by one told them to face each direction. (I joked, "This is fun! Maybe I'll just keep spinning you all in circles!") Then they had to face one direction and take a step in a different direction. They totally got it and I was pleased.
Then they had to work with the map of the US, answering direction questions I had written. Things like, What states border Nebraska on the west? Things like that. My questions were a bit too ambitious (they don't know what a coast is!), but part of my reasoning was to force them to look at the state names (which a lot of them had trouble pronouncing, of a lot of states. so we'll practice, and they'll learn!) and start getting to understand directions. As always, a few kids finished all the questions quickly, a few barely started, and the rest fell somewhere in the middle. I think I saw pretty much everyone get the hang of it in general, though. I found a big map that I have posted near the carpet now too, and make use of that to get them used to looking at and understanding maps. (I love maps! I have so many I can show them (love that National Geographic subscription)! but one thing at a time. :D)
Writing workshop was pretty amazing today too. I've been sort of hemming and hawing and not really using my time well, "accidentally." So today I just dove in and figured we'd see how it went. I pretty much bs-ed my way through it. (I say that with five years' experience of doing them, though, so I know my way around it in my head to bs with.) And dude, they ROCKED. At the beginning I said we'll try for ten or fifteen minutes, and they wrote for like half an hour! I just hope we can keep that kind of stamina and interest up.
Also, math continues to go pretty well. I'm not at all making creative lessons, I'm just using the book. But can I say, HALLELUJAH I love having a textbook! What a wonderful treat to have things spelled out in front of you, to pick and choose and use or lose! The kids are keeping up well too, but of course it's all pretty easy review stuff, so a nice way to ease into the year.
Did I mention I left before 6.30? I practically skipped out of there feeling great! I've got stuff ready for tomorrow, and vague things for the next couple days, but I think leaving at that decent hour is so worth it. I made it to the gym later on too, which also felt great. The only problem is getting home and only having an hour or so before it's supposed to be bedtime. Stupid early wake-up.
Anyway, so it was a good day all around. Keep in mind that yesterday, I wanted to throw all of them out the window and I was fed up with myself too. It's funny how it seems to be all or nothing, huh?
Cross your fingers that I haven't angered the gods and someone does something completely crazy tomorrow. :)
--Leaving before 6.30!!!
--Eating dinner (man, I'm hungry again...)
--My class today
--Dealing with my class without Chatty Chad
Today was a great day! We worked hard, but also had a good time. (Except for some name-calling...but they're elementary kids. I'm working on it, but I doubt that I can eliminate that completely, sadly)
Since there direction/map knowledge seemed to be nil, I did a neat lesson about that today. A few days ago, I put up direction signs on the classroom walls. We talked about what is a compass, and then I asked them to find the one I'd put in the room. I asked them to stand up, and one by one told them to face each direction. (I joked, "This is fun! Maybe I'll just keep spinning you all in circles!") Then they had to face one direction and take a step in a different direction. They totally got it and I was pleased.
Then they had to work with the map of the US, answering direction questions I had written. Things like, What states border Nebraska on the west? Things like that. My questions were a bit too ambitious (they don't know what a coast is!), but part of my reasoning was to force them to look at the state names (which a lot of them had trouble pronouncing, of a lot of states. so we'll practice, and they'll learn!) and start getting to understand directions. As always, a few kids finished all the questions quickly, a few barely started, and the rest fell somewhere in the middle. I think I saw pretty much everyone get the hang of it in general, though. I found a big map that I have posted near the carpet now too, and make use of that to get them used to looking at and understanding maps. (I love maps! I have so many I can show them (love that National Geographic subscription)! but one thing at a time. :D)
Writing workshop was pretty amazing today too. I've been sort of hemming and hawing and not really using my time well, "accidentally." So today I just dove in and figured we'd see how it went. I pretty much bs-ed my way through it. (I say that with five years' experience of doing them, though, so I know my way around it in my head to bs with.) And dude, they ROCKED. At the beginning I said we'll try for ten or fifteen minutes, and they wrote for like half an hour! I just hope we can keep that kind of stamina and interest up.
Also, math continues to go pretty well. I'm not at all making creative lessons, I'm just using the book. But can I say, HALLELUJAH I love having a textbook! What a wonderful treat to have things spelled out in front of you, to pick and choose and use or lose! The kids are keeping up well too, but of course it's all pretty easy review stuff, so a nice way to ease into the year.
Did I mention I left before 6.30? I practically skipped out of there feeling great! I've got stuff ready for tomorrow, and vague things for the next couple days, but I think leaving at that decent hour is so worth it. I made it to the gym later on too, which also felt great. The only problem is getting home and only having an hour or so before it's supposed to be bedtime. Stupid early wake-up.
Anyway, so it was a good day all around. Keep in mind that yesterday, I wanted to throw all of them out the window and I was fed up with myself too. It's funny how it seems to be all or nothing, huh?
Cross your fingers that I haven't angered the gods and someone does something completely crazy tomorrow. :)
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Second Week
I really mean to keep up here, as a way to vent and record. Oh well. Maybe next week will be better.
First, timing. I am, and therefore my class is, late for EVERYTHING. Sigh. There is so much to get through and so many issues and I swear I really do try. At least I don't need to worry about adhering to bell schedules. And since we're still waiting on some important materials, if math workshop runs a little long into reading workshop, whoops! Oh dear, that's so terrible! Not. We are behind in pretty much everything, and oh well.
I have a modicum of a sparkle of a hope about the workday timing. After more 12 hour days, I left by 6 on Thursday and Friday! It was so exciting to be outside in the sunshine, during daylight, going home! Yay me. I'm also feeling hopeful about planning and starting to sort-of get ahead.
Our classroom dynamic has been...interesting. Tuesday was my first Bad Day. I felt like any bit of control of my students flew right out the window. I was frazzled and impatient and a bit desperate. So I think it must have been Wednesday that I introduced some discipline and chart systems. And that day was much better.
However. I have a kid. You know. We've all had this kid, but this particular one takes the cake in my five years of experience. I'll call him Chatty Chad, as that is nowehre near his name. He is the one who will single-handedly ruin the entire class. He has some Actual Issues, but that doesn't help the anger and frustration and irritation of the other children. It's been hard for me to deal with him because I feel impotent. There's really only so much I can do in the classroom.
I'm continuing to be patient. I know, I'm surprised too! I do admit that near the end of our eight and a half hours together it wears thin, but overall, I am a much calmer teacher. I'm trying to keep the mindset that I'm doing what I can and I don't need to freak myself out about it. There has still been no crying or mood changes, which is a welcome discovery after the trainwreck of last year.
This will be the first real five-day week, so I'm trying to gear up and be ready. It's been a wonderful, quiet weekend. I got some good sleep, we worked on our apartment, I did laundry, I walked around Brooklyn in the sun with a camera and a book, I didn't do any schoolwork and I didn't think like a teacher. It was fantastic, I tell you!
First, timing. I am, and therefore my class is, late for EVERYTHING. Sigh. There is so much to get through and so many issues and I swear I really do try. At least I don't need to worry about adhering to bell schedules. And since we're still waiting on some important materials, if math workshop runs a little long into reading workshop, whoops! Oh dear, that's so terrible! Not. We are behind in pretty much everything, and oh well.
I have a modicum of a sparkle of a hope about the workday timing. After more 12 hour days, I left by 6 on Thursday and Friday! It was so exciting to be outside in the sunshine, during daylight, going home! Yay me. I'm also feeling hopeful about planning and starting to sort-of get ahead.
Our classroom dynamic has been...interesting. Tuesday was my first Bad Day. I felt like any bit of control of my students flew right out the window. I was frazzled and impatient and a bit desperate. So I think it must have been Wednesday that I introduced some discipline and chart systems. And that day was much better.
However. I have a kid. You know. We've all had this kid, but this particular one takes the cake in my five years of experience. I'll call him Chatty Chad, as that is nowehre near his name. He is the one who will single-handedly ruin the entire class. He has some Actual Issues, but that doesn't help the anger and frustration and irritation of the other children. It's been hard for me to deal with him because I feel impotent. There's really only so much I can do in the classroom.
I'm continuing to be patient. I know, I'm surprised too! I do admit that near the end of our eight and a half hours together it wears thin, but overall, I am a much calmer teacher. I'm trying to keep the mindset that I'm doing what I can and I don't need to freak myself out about it. There has still been no crying or mood changes, which is a welcome discovery after the trainwreck of last year.
This will be the first real five-day week, so I'm trying to gear up and be ready. It's been a wonderful, quiet weekend. I got some good sleep, we worked on our apartment, I did laundry, I walked around Brooklyn in the sun with a camera and a book, I didn't do any schoolwork and I didn't think like a teacher. It was fantastic, I tell you!
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Whew!
I really wanted to post last week, but we conveniently didn't have internet. Probably good to have no distractions, but also sad to have no distractions. I did actually write some entries offline but figured I didn't need to put all that up. I am excited to get caught up on all the teacher blogs and see how you're all doing!
So. First week down! Woohoo!
First of all, I think it went pretty well. Second, I am TIRED.
I am proud of myself for having a good level of patience. I wasn't the hard-ass that I normally am. Sort of worried about it, but also thinking that I need to conserve energy for these long days. A day in middle school is full of power surges, but elementary is a slow burn with occasional hotspots.
Of course, it's only the first week, so the problems are the lowest they'll be all year. Friday afternoon was the worst part of the week in terms of kid behavior--a couple kids kept bothering another couple kids. I did notice that my Teacher Look so far is pretty effective. And I haven't even had to do The Stare yet!
In terms of routines and procedures, I think I slacked a bit on that one. Partly because there's still more stuff that I need for my class, so I had to kind of BS my way through a couple things. What's nice is that I don't need to worry about keeping strictly to the schedule; it's fine if one lesson bleeds into the next. And so this week it may have happened a lot... :)
What I did get going was the lining up and walking. On Friday I assigned spots for the carpet area (which doesn't have an actual carpet yet...) and kept an eagle eye for the kids trying to sprawl and lie down. Do you guys have that problem? Kids just lounging about like they're in their living room? I will definitely watch the amount of time I have them there. It's nice to be able to go back and forth from their seats to the carpet, to keep things a little more lively instead of just sitting at desks all day.
The beginning and end of the day have been a little crazy. I will work on that. End of the day I think presents the most chaos potential. This week I will begin class job time at the end of the day along with packing up time.
We didn't start out the first day with rules yet. The second day I asked them to think about how we can make our class a good learning community, and we made a list together. On Friday, the last thing we did was create a list of jobs they'd like in the class. They really got into that. One student suggested the job of Joke-Teller, for when someone needs a pick-me-up. Isn't that adorable?
I plan to do some class rules activities early this week. We will get started on real lessons too, for some of the subjects. Others won't be quite ready yet.
I am definitely way behind with planning. We're supposed to have a week's worth at a time, and clearly I don't. For one, there is no freaking time! For two, I don't have everything I need to plan or even do lessons, so I maintain that it's not all my fault. :) But I hope to start getting a little more caught up this week.
I was at school for at least eleven hours each day last week. Remember that I wanted to go home by 5.30? Hahahahahhaaaaaaaaaaa yeah right. This week I will *try* to leave by 6.30 or 7 at the latest. I haven't been able to catch up on sleep, which is really tough. However, the pace of the day isn't too crazy, so I was making through pretty well.
I brought some things home this weekend but didn't really work on them. Surprise surprise. I worked on a few lessons for the beginning of the week but graded no assessments. I will start using my (limited) prep time to work on that kind of thing.
We didn't get much done with the apartment, unfortunately. Maybe next week there will be more time and more sanity. :)
Overall, I feel good. Sane and patient. Don't get me wrong, I'm still plenty worried about lessons, nervous about managing behavior stuff, and frustrated about some school things, but it's not like last fall. I haven't cried and I don't feel like I will be needing to or wanting to. I don't feel frazzled or like I'm becoming somebody else. I'm too busy and tired, but I have hopes for that abating in the next few weeks. I really like my colleagues, and soon maybe I will actually start to get out of my room and see them. We want to do a housewarming soon. It's a good start to the year.
So. First week down! Woohoo!
First of all, I think it went pretty well. Second, I am TIRED.
I am proud of myself for having a good level of patience. I wasn't the hard-ass that I normally am. Sort of worried about it, but also thinking that I need to conserve energy for these long days. A day in middle school is full of power surges, but elementary is a slow burn with occasional hotspots.
Of course, it's only the first week, so the problems are the lowest they'll be all year. Friday afternoon was the worst part of the week in terms of kid behavior--a couple kids kept bothering another couple kids. I did notice that my Teacher Look so far is pretty effective. And I haven't even had to do The Stare yet!
In terms of routines and procedures, I think I slacked a bit on that one. Partly because there's still more stuff that I need for my class, so I had to kind of BS my way through a couple things. What's nice is that I don't need to worry about keeping strictly to the schedule; it's fine if one lesson bleeds into the next. And so this week it may have happened a lot... :)
What I did get going was the lining up and walking. On Friday I assigned spots for the carpet area (which doesn't have an actual carpet yet...) and kept an eagle eye for the kids trying to sprawl and lie down. Do you guys have that problem? Kids just lounging about like they're in their living room? I will definitely watch the amount of time I have them there. It's nice to be able to go back and forth from their seats to the carpet, to keep things a little more lively instead of just sitting at desks all day.
The beginning and end of the day have been a little crazy. I will work on that. End of the day I think presents the most chaos potential. This week I will begin class job time at the end of the day along with packing up time.
We didn't start out the first day with rules yet. The second day I asked them to think about how we can make our class a good learning community, and we made a list together. On Friday, the last thing we did was create a list of jobs they'd like in the class. They really got into that. One student suggested the job of Joke-Teller, for when someone needs a pick-me-up. Isn't that adorable?
I plan to do some class rules activities early this week. We will get started on real lessons too, for some of the subjects. Others won't be quite ready yet.
I am definitely way behind with planning. We're supposed to have a week's worth at a time, and clearly I don't. For one, there is no freaking time! For two, I don't have everything I need to plan or even do lessons, so I maintain that it's not all my fault. :) But I hope to start getting a little more caught up this week.
I was at school for at least eleven hours each day last week. Remember that I wanted to go home by 5.30? Hahahahahhaaaaaaaaaaa yeah right. This week I will *try* to leave by 6.30 or 7 at the latest. I haven't been able to catch up on sleep, which is really tough. However, the pace of the day isn't too crazy, so I was making through pretty well.
I brought some things home this weekend but didn't really work on them. Surprise surprise. I worked on a few lessons for the beginning of the week but graded no assessments. I will start using my (limited) prep time to work on that kind of thing.
We didn't get much done with the apartment, unfortunately. Maybe next week there will be more time and more sanity. :)
Overall, I feel good. Sane and patient. Don't get me wrong, I'm still plenty worried about lessons, nervous about managing behavior stuff, and frustrated about some school things, but it's not like last fall. I haven't cried and I don't feel like I will be needing to or wanting to. I don't feel frazzled or like I'm becoming somebody else. I'm too busy and tired, but I have hopes for that abating in the next few weeks. I really like my colleagues, and soon maybe I will actually start to get out of my room and see them. We want to do a housewarming soon. It's a good start to the year.
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
first eleven hour day
...and I need at least another full day before I'd feel ready.
And would you like to guess when I finally made it to the bathroom at school today? 6.30pm. Welcome to the glamourous life of a teacher!
Today was the first time I could do a little of substance in my classroom, but there just wasn't enough time. Things are not ready. But I stayed long enough to get as much done as possible, for the bare minimum so I will have what I need to get through the day.
I am really nervous for tomorrow. I'm always nervous before the first day of school, but this anxiety is the worst yet, because I've been dealing with so much more than just the regular teaching stuff. (I wish I had private posting available to share more!)
But, on the home front, we moved last weekend. I don't know if I mentioned that. The move itself went incredibly well. Our new apartment is FANTASTIC. I love it! It's bigger, brighter, airier, and more grown-up. No More Wire Shelving! Ever!
Did I mention last year that we moved? That we moved the day before school started? Here's a tip from me to you: NEVER DO THAT.
It was a shitty year, but that was possibly the shittiest way to start out a shitty year. I was exhausted and stressed out from school stuff already, and then exhausted and stressed out from moving, and then anxious because all my stuff was in boxes and I had to go be a professional in front a bunch of pre-teens. Not a great time.
But this time worked out a million times better. We've had a full week plus a long weekend to work on unpacking, organizing, and cleaning. We're down to a handful of boxes--all mine, full of random crap. We now have three bookshelves nearly full of books and teachery things!
So this weekend there wasn't much school-related things I could do (except make copies), but I did get to sleep a bit, grocery shop, watch some tv (finally got the new hookup) and relax. Just in time for the CRAZY about to begin!
I made it through today pretty well on adrenaline, but am not sure how I will hold up for tomorrow. I am happy to say that my colleagues and AP so far have been amazing and have been supportive, and that is making a big difference in how I feel! Even though I don't feel exactly confident or hopeful, I feel...steady, or steadfast. Like we will get it done and get through it and move along to making our situation better.
Good luck everyone on the first day back!
And would you like to guess when I finally made it to the bathroom at school today? 6.30pm. Welcome to the glamourous life of a teacher!
Today was the first time I could do a little of substance in my classroom, but there just wasn't enough time. Things are not ready. But I stayed long enough to get as much done as possible, for the bare minimum so I will have what I need to get through the day.
I am really nervous for tomorrow. I'm always nervous before the first day of school, but this anxiety is the worst yet, because I've been dealing with so much more than just the regular teaching stuff. (I wish I had private posting available to share more!)
But, on the home front, we moved last weekend. I don't know if I mentioned that. The move itself went incredibly well. Our new apartment is FANTASTIC. I love it! It's bigger, brighter, airier, and more grown-up. No More Wire Shelving! Ever!
Did I mention last year that we moved? That we moved the day before school started? Here's a tip from me to you: NEVER DO THAT.
It was a shitty year, but that was possibly the shittiest way to start out a shitty year. I was exhausted and stressed out from school stuff already, and then exhausted and stressed out from moving, and then anxious because all my stuff was in boxes and I had to go be a professional in front a bunch of pre-teens. Not a great time.
But this time worked out a million times better. We've had a full week plus a long weekend to work on unpacking, organizing, and cleaning. We're down to a handful of boxes--all mine, full of random crap. We now have three bookshelves nearly full of books and teachery things!
So this weekend there wasn't much school-related things I could do (except make copies), but I did get to sleep a bit, grocery shop, watch some tv (finally got the new hookup) and relax. Just in time for the CRAZY about to begin!
I made it through today pretty well on adrenaline, but am not sure how I will hold up for tomorrow. I am happy to say that my colleagues and AP so far have been amazing and have been supportive, and that is making a big difference in how I feel! Even though I don't feel exactly confident or hopeful, I feel...steady, or steadfast. Like we will get it done and get through it and move along to making our situation better.
Good luck everyone on the first day back!
Sunday, September 06, 2009
Back to School Fun (but serious too)
Who can do the math?
BY DAVE BARRY
(This classic Dave Barry column was originally published Aug. 17, 2003.)
We have come to the time of year when we remove the video-game controls-by surgery, if necessary-from the hands of our children, and send them back to school. And if they complain that school is a boring waste of time, we smack them firmly yet lovingly with a roofing timber and remind them of the words of our first president, Benjamin Franklin, who said: ``There is nothing more valuable in life than an education, except, of course, money or a nice car.''
Knowledge is our nation's most precious resource, after agriculture and Ray Charles. Yet study after study shows that American children are not learning as well as children from foreign countries such as Sweden and Hawaii. On standardized tests, most American 12th-graders are unable to correctly answer such basic academic questions as:
1. When you wear a baseball-style cap, which part is supposed to go in the front?
2. What is the difference between ``hip-hop'' and ``music''?
3. Who is Dick Cheney?
(ANSWERS: 1. The front part. 2. Plenty. 3. None of your business.)
Why do our children perform so poorly on standardized tests? Does the fault lie with our teachers? With our school administrators? With our political leaders? Can we, as concerned parents, sue somebody about this and obtain millions of dollars?
Or maybe it's time that we parents stopped ``passing the buck'' on education. Maybe instead of ``pointing the finger'' at everybody else, we should take a hard look at ourselves in the mirror, and place the blame for our children's lousy test scores where it clearly belongs: on our children. They have a terrible attitude. I have here a letter, which I am not making up, from a teacher named Robin Walden of Kilgore, Texas, who states:
``I teach math to eighth-grade students. This is an unnecessary task because they are all going to be professional basketball players, professional NASCAR racecar drivers, professional bass fisher people or marine biologists who will never need to actually use math.''
This is a sad commentary on the unrealistic expectations of today's students. Because the harsh statistical truth is that, in any given group of 10 young people, only a third of them, or 22 percent, will actually succeed as professional bass fishers. The rest will wind up in the ``real world,'' where, like it or not, they will need a practical knowledge of math.
For example, I recently found myself in a situation at a bank where suddenly, without warning, I had to add up four three-digit numbers by hand. Fortunately, I went to elementary school in the 1950s, when we were in the Cold War, and American children were forced to learn addition, because the Russians were making THEIR children learn addition. Thanks to that training, I knew that, to get the correct answer, I had to ``carry'' some numbers. Unfortunately, I could not remember how to do this.
For some reason I COULD remember that ``pi'' is the ratio of circumference to diameter, but that did not help me in this case. (To be honest, it has never helped me.) But addition had leaked out of my brain, along with subtraction, multiplication, long division, the ``cosine,'' the Smoot-Hawley Tariff, and most of the other things I learned in school, although, of course, my brain has carefully preserved the jingle for Brylcreem hair ointment:
``Brylcreem, a little dab'll do ya/Brylcreem, you'll look so debonair/ But watch out, the gals'll all pursue ya/ They'll love to get their fingers in your hair!'' Which is a total lie: Touching Brylcreemed hair is like sticking your hand into the nostril of a sick pig.
But I digress. My point is that I finally gave up on adding my numbers and asked the bank teller, who added them with a calculator, which uses computer chips, which were invented during the Cold War, which we won. I'm not saying this was TOTALLY because of my mathematics training; I'm just saying it was a factor. And that is why we must stress to our children how important education is. We must tell them: Study hard! Learn as much as you can! Because we, your parents, are getting stupider by the day. We're experiencing massive brain leakage. Soon even the commercial jingles will be gone, and our heads will actually implode.
Before that happens, we need to get out of the driver's seat, and turn the wheel over to you, the younger generation.
Don't ask us what we did with the car keys.
(c) 2009, Dave Barry
BY DAVE BARRY
(This classic Dave Barry column was originally published Aug. 17, 2003.)
We have come to the time of year when we remove the video-game controls-by surgery, if necessary-from the hands of our children, and send them back to school. And if they complain that school is a boring waste of time, we smack them firmly yet lovingly with a roofing timber and remind them of the words of our first president, Benjamin Franklin, who said: ``There is nothing more valuable in life than an education, except, of course, money or a nice car.''
Knowledge is our nation's most precious resource, after agriculture and Ray Charles. Yet study after study shows that American children are not learning as well as children from foreign countries such as Sweden and Hawaii. On standardized tests, most American 12th-graders are unable to correctly answer such basic academic questions as:
1. When you wear a baseball-style cap, which part is supposed to go in the front?
2. What is the difference between ``hip-hop'' and ``music''?
3. Who is Dick Cheney?
(ANSWERS: 1. The front part. 2. Plenty. 3. None of your business.)
Why do our children perform so poorly on standardized tests? Does the fault lie with our teachers? With our school administrators? With our political leaders? Can we, as concerned parents, sue somebody about this and obtain millions of dollars?
Or maybe it's time that we parents stopped ``passing the buck'' on education. Maybe instead of ``pointing the finger'' at everybody else, we should take a hard look at ourselves in the mirror, and place the blame for our children's lousy test scores where it clearly belongs: on our children. They have a terrible attitude. I have here a letter, which I am not making up, from a teacher named Robin Walden of Kilgore, Texas, who states:
``I teach math to eighth-grade students. This is an unnecessary task because they are all going to be professional basketball players, professional NASCAR racecar drivers, professional bass fisher people or marine biologists who will never need to actually use math.''
This is a sad commentary on the unrealistic expectations of today's students. Because the harsh statistical truth is that, in any given group of 10 young people, only a third of them, or 22 percent, will actually succeed as professional bass fishers. The rest will wind up in the ``real world,'' where, like it or not, they will need a practical knowledge of math.
For example, I recently found myself in a situation at a bank where suddenly, without warning, I had to add up four three-digit numbers by hand. Fortunately, I went to elementary school in the 1950s, when we were in the Cold War, and American children were forced to learn addition, because the Russians were making THEIR children learn addition. Thanks to that training, I knew that, to get the correct answer, I had to ``carry'' some numbers. Unfortunately, I could not remember how to do this.
For some reason I COULD remember that ``pi'' is the ratio of circumference to diameter, but that did not help me in this case. (To be honest, it has never helped me.) But addition had leaked out of my brain, along with subtraction, multiplication, long division, the ``cosine,'' the Smoot-Hawley Tariff, and most of the other things I learned in school, although, of course, my brain has carefully preserved the jingle for Brylcreem hair ointment:
``Brylcreem, a little dab'll do ya/Brylcreem, you'll look so debonair/ But watch out, the gals'll all pursue ya/ They'll love to get their fingers in your hair!'' Which is a total lie: Touching Brylcreemed hair is like sticking your hand into the nostril of a sick pig.
But I digress. My point is that I finally gave up on adding my numbers and asked the bank teller, who added them with a calculator, which uses computer chips, which were invented during the Cold War, which we won. I'm not saying this was TOTALLY because of my mathematics training; I'm just saying it was a factor. And that is why we must stress to our children how important education is. We must tell them: Study hard! Learn as much as you can! Because we, your parents, are getting stupider by the day. We're experiencing massive brain leakage. Soon even the commercial jingles will be gone, and our heads will actually implode.
Before that happens, we need to get out of the driver's seat, and turn the wheel over to you, the younger generation.
Don't ask us what we did with the car keys.
(c) 2009, Dave Barry
Saturday, August 29, 2009
The Tenets of Good Professional Development
Unbelievably, I'm going into my sixth year of teaching. That means I have been to a LOT of professional development. Most of it has been a useless waste of time. However! I remain hopeful that it can be done well, and that it can be of use to teachers like it's meant to. Here is my Official Guide to PD. Feel free to add your own in the comments.
1. Workshops should last no more than 1 1/2 hours. Furthermore, teachers should not be sitting in the same room all day long. Parse the PD into different rooms. Once the bum goes numb, so does the brain.
2. When planning PD (as a supervisor or as a presenter), ask yourself the Golden Question: Is this DIRECTLY relevant to classroom teaching? This cannot be emphasized enough. Teachers should be able to think about bringing your content into their practices. Now, whether or not they decide to is another issue, but it should be easy to connect PD workshops to everyday teaching.
3. Encourage participation. It breaks up monotony and keeps people awake. It keeps them accountable for the information, it helps teachers get to know one another, and best of all, that's good teaching. Remember, professional development is supposed to help teachers get even better at their jobs. Modeling is an important skill not just for classroom teachers!
3b. That said, limit role play; adults will feel silly and roll their eyes and/or refuse to participate.
4. Give time for discussion and planning--teachers want that time to figure out how to use the information in their teaching, because remember, it needs to be RELEVANT.
5. Think about the timing of the PD--what do teachers need most? The week before school starts is *not* the time to discuss child psychology or fancypants theories--teachers are anxious to get working on specifics for the students that will be arriving all too soon.
6. When possible, use faculty members to lead PD. Good teachers want to learn from each other. Do panel discussions, brainstorms, small groups, etc. (Hm, doesn't this also sound like something teachers are expected to do in the classroom? Just because you're working with grown-ups doesn't mean you abandon good teaching strategies!)
6b. Make sure that presenters is not only qualified to lead a workshop, but that he/she is also a good speaker, and (here's that word again) RELEVANT.
6c. Please ensure that PowerPoints are spell-checked!
7. Ask teachers for their input and feedback--what are they most interested in? what do they think would be most useful? what new things do they want to learn about or explore? Then, if possible, have options to choose from.
8. Make sure the workshop is something new, or new enough, to be worthy of the time. For example, using technology in the classroom could be really useful, but if the school doesn't have technological resources, or if it's about things like overhead projectors, that's a waste of time. An old idea like, I don't know, group work, that's a no. (I hope this makes sense.)
9. Evaluations must ask about the RELEVANCE of the workshop and how effective the presenter was. Again, good PD should be good teaching!
Educators: What do you think? What did I miss? What would you add/change/delete?
1. Workshops should last no more than 1 1/2 hours. Furthermore, teachers should not be sitting in the same room all day long. Parse the PD into different rooms. Once the bum goes numb, so does the brain.
2. When planning PD (as a supervisor or as a presenter), ask yourself the Golden Question: Is this DIRECTLY relevant to classroom teaching? This cannot be emphasized enough. Teachers should be able to think about bringing your content into their practices. Now, whether or not they decide to is another issue, but it should be easy to connect PD workshops to everyday teaching.
3. Encourage participation. It breaks up monotony and keeps people awake. It keeps them accountable for the information, it helps teachers get to know one another, and best of all, that's good teaching. Remember, professional development is supposed to help teachers get even better at their jobs. Modeling is an important skill not just for classroom teachers!
3b. That said, limit role play; adults will feel silly and roll their eyes and/or refuse to participate.
4. Give time for discussion and planning--teachers want that time to figure out how to use the information in their teaching, because remember, it needs to be RELEVANT.
5. Think about the timing of the PD--what do teachers need most? The week before school starts is *not* the time to discuss child psychology or fancypants theories--teachers are anxious to get working on specifics for the students that will be arriving all too soon.
6. When possible, use faculty members to lead PD. Good teachers want to learn from each other. Do panel discussions, brainstorms, small groups, etc. (Hm, doesn't this also sound like something teachers are expected to do in the classroom? Just because you're working with grown-ups doesn't mean you abandon good teaching strategies!)
6b. Make sure that presenters is not only qualified to lead a workshop, but that he/she is also a good speaker, and (here's that word again) RELEVANT.
6c. Please ensure that PowerPoints are spell-checked!
7. Ask teachers for their input and feedback--what are they most interested in? what do they think would be most useful? what new things do they want to learn about or explore? Then, if possible, have options to choose from.
8. Make sure the workshop is something new, or new enough, to be worthy of the time. For example, using technology in the classroom could be really useful, but if the school doesn't have technological resources, or if it's about things like overhead projectors, that's a waste of time. An old idea like, I don't know, group work, that's a no. (I hope this makes sense.)
9. Evaluations must ask about the RELEVANCE of the workshop and how effective the presenter was. Again, good PD should be good teaching!
Educators: What do you think? What did I miss? What would you add/change/delete?
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Funnies
I clicked on a link from Mental Floss to the hilarious Safety Graphics blog and saw this very funny graphic from yet another new favorite site, GraphJam!Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Balance
That's the eternal debate, isn't it? I didn't get it when I worked in a public school. Maybe I didn't work hard enough or something. Although I remember the despair my first year, when there was just so much to do and no time to do it. I faithfully brought home piles of paper every night for grading or organizing...and I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Each day was so intense that I was just too fried.
Charter schools are a whole other monster, though. There's somehow more to do and even less time to do it. Plus extra things--duties, meetings, extra activities--take up the little "prep" time during the day. (Forget about lunch; that was scarfed with one hand while frantically typing, grading, or copying.)
And this year I'll have all four subjects! I'm not shy about admitting how terrified I am about that. Fortunately, there are packaged curricula for each. We haven't had time to work with it yet, so I'm not sure exactly how they work and how easy or hard it will be to implement them each and every single day. I'm hoping it will be a good way to ease into the work and then as I get used to it, I'll be able to work some creativity into the lessons and units. Because somehow it sounds like we are also expected to create interdisciplinary, multiple-intelligence units. Not sure how those two things happen at the same time...but I suppose it's good that the school trusts us and wants us not to just be parrots of the chosen textbook.
It's really something I can't get my mind around. For five years I had to create everything I did. So naturally that's the way that teaching happens in my head. And holy crap! Four subjects! Every day! Yikes!
But shhh, no, there will be brand new materials! Books, teacher guides (GASP!!! those were like GOLD at Original Middle School, because having one was so rare), workbooks, all kinds of stuff. I have to say, I love that charter schools take away the worry and tension and excuse of broken, old, or non-existent materials.
Oh! Another thing that I have to keep reminding myself is that even grading and homework and stuff won't be such a huge chore--twenty-five things to deal with is infinitely easier than a hundred. Right? And elementary schools seem to not assign homework every day in every subject (even charter schools fall prey to the Magical Packet Assignment), so at most I figure I'd have one set per day. Psh, that's cake!
The last, biggest part of this is work/life balance. It was a huge struggle last fall. I got up before dawn, worked my ass off for ten to twelve hours, and trudged home, spaced out in front of the tv and/or computer, and had to go to bed. The weekends were an all-too-short respite from the grind; just as I felt a bit of myself recovering, it was Sunday night and time to worry about the week again.
I really need to not do that again. It took a huge toll on me--I lost weight, I couldn't sleep, I barely saw my boyfriend, I never saw my friends, not to mention all the crying. I had no time to read or do anything for fun, there was no room in my mind or my life for anything other than school.
The sad thing is, there were so many people working harder and longer than I was!
Anyway, so this year I plan to be strict with myself about going home by a certain time. I figure one hour after school per day will be enough. I joined a gym last week, and went twice last week. Yesterday I dragged myself out the door in the humidity, but I was really glad. It felt good to sweat and let my mind be blank for an hour. So I plan to go at least one time during the week and once on the weekend. The BF and I are hoping to set aside one night a week to spend some time together, either at home or maybe going out for dinner. I'd like to have some friend time at least every few weeks too. I'm crossing my fingers that my so-far friendly colleagues will become friends or at least invite me out to happy hour every once in a while. :)
Because god knows I'll be needing a drink!
Charter schools are a whole other monster, though. There's somehow more to do and even less time to do it. Plus extra things--duties, meetings, extra activities--take up the little "prep" time during the day. (Forget about lunch; that was scarfed with one hand while frantically typing, grading, or copying.)
And this year I'll have all four subjects! I'm not shy about admitting how terrified I am about that. Fortunately, there are packaged curricula for each. We haven't had time to work with it yet, so I'm not sure exactly how they work and how easy or hard it will be to implement them each and every single day. I'm hoping it will be a good way to ease into the work and then as I get used to it, I'll be able to work some creativity into the lessons and units. Because somehow it sounds like we are also expected to create interdisciplinary, multiple-intelligence units. Not sure how those two things happen at the same time...but I suppose it's good that the school trusts us and wants us not to just be parrots of the chosen textbook.
It's really something I can't get my mind around. For five years I had to create everything I did. So naturally that's the way that teaching happens in my head. And holy crap! Four subjects! Every day! Yikes!
But shhh, no, there will be brand new materials! Books, teacher guides (GASP!!! those were like GOLD at Original Middle School, because having one was so rare), workbooks, all kinds of stuff. I have to say, I love that charter schools take away the worry and tension and excuse of broken, old, or non-existent materials.
Oh! Another thing that I have to keep reminding myself is that even grading and homework and stuff won't be such a huge chore--twenty-five things to deal with is infinitely easier than a hundred. Right? And elementary schools seem to not assign homework every day in every subject (even charter schools fall prey to the Magical Packet Assignment), so at most I figure I'd have one set per day. Psh, that's cake!
The last, biggest part of this is work/life balance. It was a huge struggle last fall. I got up before dawn, worked my ass off for ten to twelve hours, and trudged home, spaced out in front of the tv and/or computer, and had to go to bed. The weekends were an all-too-short respite from the grind; just as I felt a bit of myself recovering, it was Sunday night and time to worry about the week again.
I really need to not do that again. It took a huge toll on me--I lost weight, I couldn't sleep, I barely saw my boyfriend, I never saw my friends, not to mention all the crying. I had no time to read or do anything for fun, there was no room in my mind or my life for anything other than school.
The sad thing is, there were so many people working harder and longer than I was!
Anyway, so this year I plan to be strict with myself about going home by a certain time. I figure one hour after school per day will be enough. I joined a gym last week, and went twice last week. Yesterday I dragged myself out the door in the humidity, but I was really glad. It felt good to sweat and let my mind be blank for an hour. So I plan to go at least one time during the week and once on the weekend. The BF and I are hoping to set aside one night a week to spend some time together, either at home or maybe going out for dinner. I'd like to have some friend time at least every few weeks too. I'm crossing my fingers that my so-far friendly colleagues will become friends or at least invite me out to happy hour every once in a while. :)
Because god knows I'll be needing a drink!
Monday, August 17, 2009
Back Into the Fire
I am a teacher once again.
I accepted an elementary position at a charter school in June. It was a difficult decision. My mindset this summer is a polar opposite from last summer. I'm nervous about teaching a different grade level, about having one group of kids all.day.long, about surviving in another charter school, about maintaining patience and a personal life.
I think that being a little anxious will help me a bit. Don't they say that pride goeth before a fall? Last summer when I got that other job I was thrilled and thought it would be fantastic. Ha ha. Well, I fell damn near every week, some weeks every stupid day.
You'd think I would learn, eh?
At Original Middle School, I learned how to be a teacher. I learned that pre-teens can easily run a teacher's pride and/or dignity into the ground in about five minutes. I learned that pre-teens still love stickers and silly songs. I learned how to speak firmly and loudly without being mean. I learned how to entertain myself and my students with my lame dry jokes. I learned that I can't stand disruptions in my classroom--which includes mistakes by inept administrators. I learned that I could mold my classroom and make it a pretty great place to be. I learned that I like to learn and try new things and come up with new ideas. I also learned that I have a tendency to take on more than I can chew and have trouble following through with all my awesome ideas. I learned that kids sometimes actually like me. I learned that I will always have an insane parent. I learned that I can be successful and have fun in the classroom.
At First Charter School, I learned how to be humble again. I learned that it's really fucking hard to teach a brand-new subject. I learned how very important it is to have a place to send disobedient students (because I didn't have one). I learned that my awesome management was no good at a new school. I learned that I flounder easily without enough knowledge or support. I learned again that administration makes or breaks a school. I learned that I can't always be successful in the classroom. Part of me felt like I would never be and had never been successful in the classroom.
At Subbing Charter School, I learned that environment matters. I learned again that if there are no consequences, the students will run wild. I learned that I don't like hearing yelling at a school--from students, from teachers, from my own self. I learned that it's not worth it and I don't have to take that kind of crap.
Today was my first day working with New Charter School. I met a few people and took some notes about what I want to do. I didn't learn anything new about teaching or learning or being a charter school. But it was a good reminder of the important things--finding ways to reach the kids and teach them stuff.
I've learned that nothing is a sure thing. I think I can do this.
I accepted an elementary position at a charter school in June. It was a difficult decision. My mindset this summer is a polar opposite from last summer. I'm nervous about teaching a different grade level, about having one group of kids all.day.long, about surviving in another charter school, about maintaining patience and a personal life.
I think that being a little anxious will help me a bit. Don't they say that pride goeth before a fall? Last summer when I got that other job I was thrilled and thought it would be fantastic. Ha ha. Well, I fell damn near every week, some weeks every stupid day.
You'd think I would learn, eh?
At Original Middle School, I learned how to be a teacher. I learned that pre-teens can easily run a teacher's pride and/or dignity into the ground in about five minutes. I learned that pre-teens still love stickers and silly songs. I learned how to speak firmly and loudly without being mean. I learned how to entertain myself and my students with my lame dry jokes. I learned that I can't stand disruptions in my classroom--which includes mistakes by inept administrators. I learned that I could mold my classroom and make it a pretty great place to be. I learned that I like to learn and try new things and come up with new ideas. I also learned that I have a tendency to take on more than I can chew and have trouble following through with all my awesome ideas. I learned that kids sometimes actually like me. I learned that I will always have an insane parent. I learned that I can be successful and have fun in the classroom.
At First Charter School, I learned how to be humble again. I learned that it's really fucking hard to teach a brand-new subject. I learned how very important it is to have a place to send disobedient students (because I didn't have one). I learned that my awesome management was no good at a new school. I learned that I flounder easily without enough knowledge or support. I learned again that administration makes or breaks a school. I learned that I can't always be successful in the classroom. Part of me felt like I would never be and had never been successful in the classroom.
At Subbing Charter School, I learned that environment matters. I learned again that if there are no consequences, the students will run wild. I learned that I don't like hearing yelling at a school--from students, from teachers, from my own self. I learned that it's not worth it and I don't have to take that kind of crap.
Today was my first day working with New Charter School. I met a few people and took some notes about what I want to do. I didn't learn anything new about teaching or learning or being a charter school. But it was a good reminder of the important things--finding ways to reach the kids and teach them stuff.
I've learned that nothing is a sure thing. I think I can do this.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
FAQ: Obama's health care reform plan
I know that the new health care reform is controversial. I am all for attempting to fix a very broken system. This article gave me some specific details about what it is and what it isn't.
Taken from the Baltimore Sun, Aug. 12
This summer the top conversational piece on the tip of everyone's tongue revolves around health care reform. The debate rages on through a series of Town Hall-style meetings taking place around the country with President Obama.
When cutting to the heart of all the hoopla, specific questions emerge. Here's a quick glance at Obama's answers to the most common inquiries voiced by folks just like you:
•What if I already have health insurance and am satisfied with my coverage?
Simply put, things won't change much for those content with their existing, employer-provided health insurance coverage. Obama guarantees that you will be able to keep your doctor and your plan. Read the full transcript of Obama's town hall meeting in Washington.
•What if I don't have health insurance?
For the staggering 46 million Americans lacking healthcare coverage, the uninsured will have the opportunity to select a plan from a menu of private and public options --similar to the way members of Congress choose their coverage. Obama's team is working on the creation of the Health Insurance Exchange, which will give people a one-stop shop for a health care plan where they can compare benefits and prices and choose the plan best suited for them. Every plan would include an affordable, benefits package. Obama also promises to provide assistance to those unable to afford one of the plans. Read the full transcript of Obama's town hall meeting in Wisconsin.
•Can I still obtain health insurance with a preexisting medical condition?
Yes! Obama often recounts his mother fighting with insurance companies over medical bills after her cancer diagnosis when they suggested it was a preexisting medical condition. Obama vows to put an end to this practice in addition to stopping insurance companies from dropping people if they "get too sick." Read the full transcript of Obama's town hall meeting in Washington.
•How will my Medicare benefits be affected?
Obama denies any reduction in Medicare benefits. What will change is the wasteful spending associated with Medicare such as the $100 billion in subsidies that go to insurance companies without improving care for seniors. In addition, Obama says the pharmaceutical industry agreed to $80 billion in spending reductions to help close the "doughnut hole" for seniors falling under Medicaid's prescription drug plan. The "doughnut hole" refers to the gap in drug reimbursement seniors face that can accrue into thousands of dollars of out-of-pocket expenses. Read the full transcript from Obama's town hall meeting in Ohio.
•How will we pay for this sweeping health care reform?
Obama says his plan will cost $950 billion over a ten-year period. Two-thirds of the cost of reform will come from reallocating money, paid for by taxpayers, already in the system that isn't being spent wisely. One-third of that price-tag will be covered by increased revenues, such as capping itemized deductions the wealthiest Americans use on their income tax returns. Read the full transcript of Obama's town hall meeting in Virginia.
Taken from the Baltimore Sun, Aug. 12
This summer the top conversational piece on the tip of everyone's tongue revolves around health care reform. The debate rages on through a series of Town Hall-style meetings taking place around the country with President Obama.
When cutting to the heart of all the hoopla, specific questions emerge. Here's a quick glance at Obama's answers to the most common inquiries voiced by folks just like you:
•What if I already have health insurance and am satisfied with my coverage?
Simply put, things won't change much for those content with their existing, employer-provided health insurance coverage. Obama guarantees that you will be able to keep your doctor and your plan. Read the full transcript of Obama's town hall meeting in Washington.
•What if I don't have health insurance?
For the staggering 46 million Americans lacking healthcare coverage, the uninsured will have the opportunity to select a plan from a menu of private and public options --similar to the way members of Congress choose their coverage. Obama's team is working on the creation of the Health Insurance Exchange, which will give people a one-stop shop for a health care plan where they can compare benefits and prices and choose the plan best suited for them. Every plan would include an affordable, benefits package. Obama also promises to provide assistance to those unable to afford one of the plans. Read the full transcript of Obama's town hall meeting in Wisconsin.
•Can I still obtain health insurance with a preexisting medical condition?
Yes! Obama often recounts his mother fighting with insurance companies over medical bills after her cancer diagnosis when they suggested it was a preexisting medical condition. Obama vows to put an end to this practice in addition to stopping insurance companies from dropping people if they "get too sick." Read the full transcript of Obama's town hall meeting in Washington.
•How will my Medicare benefits be affected?
Obama denies any reduction in Medicare benefits. What will change is the wasteful spending associated with Medicare such as the $100 billion in subsidies that go to insurance companies without improving care for seniors. In addition, Obama says the pharmaceutical industry agreed to $80 billion in spending reductions to help close the "doughnut hole" for seniors falling under Medicaid's prescription drug plan. The "doughnut hole" refers to the gap in drug reimbursement seniors face that can accrue into thousands of dollars of out-of-pocket expenses. Read the full transcript from Obama's town hall meeting in Ohio.
•How will we pay for this sweeping health care reform?
Obama says his plan will cost $950 billion over a ten-year period. Two-thirds of the cost of reform will come from reallocating money, paid for by taxpayers, already in the system that isn't being spent wisely. One-third of that price-tag will be covered by increased revenues, such as capping itemized deductions the wealthiest Americans use on their income tax returns. Read the full transcript of Obama's town hall meeting in Virginia.
9AM You Know the Economy's Bad When History Professors Work at Rite Aid
via Overheard in the Office, Jul 20, 2009
Woman in line: I want to go somewhere foreign this summer. How about Guam?
Cashier: Actually, Guam is part of the United States.
Woman in line: Ugh, these things change so often. We must have gotten it, like, a year ago, right?
Cashier: Actually, we've owned Guam since the 1800s. It sends a non-voting member to Congress, but they have no elector, so they don't matter for presidential elections.
Woman in line: Oh, thank god.
Rite Aid
Doylestown, Pennsylvania
via Overheard in the Office, Jul 20, 2009
Sunday, August 09, 2009
more link and list love
Mrs Bees at Full of Bees has a great post up about a ticket reward system that I really like. She also posted a list of the top YA books according to the ALA. Now, I love me some YA, because, err, it's my job, right? Yeah, that's it. :) Anyway, so here is The Ultimate Young Adult Bookshelf.
I will bold the ones I have read. A lot I haven't heard of before, so I plan to keep an eye out for them!
Books
Acceleration by Graham McNamee
Alanna: The First Adventure by Tamora Pierce
All Things Bright and Beautiful by James Herriot
American Born Chinese by Gene Luen Yang
Among the Hidden by Margaret Peterson Haddix
Beauty by Robin McKinley (I found it when I was 12 or 13, reread it recently and still loved it about the same)
Black and White by Paul Volponi
Blizzard! The Storm that Changed America by Jim Murphy
Bone series by Jeff Smith
The Book Thief by Mark Zusak
Chocolate War by Robert Cormier
The Chosen by Chaim Potok (a-maz-ing, moving book.)
The Diary of a Young Girl: The Definitive Edition by Anne Frank
Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card
Fallen Angels by Walter Dean Myers
Fat Kid Rules the World by K.L. Going
Feed by M.T. Anderson
Fruits Basket series by Natsuki Takaya
The First Part Last by Angela Johnson
The Golden Compass by Philip Pullman (been meaning to read this series)
The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman
The Guinness Book of World Records
Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams
The House of the Scorpion by Nancy Farmer
The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
I Know What You Did Last Summer by Lois Duncan (Does seeing the movie count? :D)
I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou
If You Come Softly by Jacqueline Woodson
The Killer’s Cousin by Nancy Werlin
Lock and Key by Sarah Dessen (I've read a bunch of her other stuff and really liked it.)
Looking for Alaska by John Green (I just finished this today. Really good. Very emotional.)
Make Lemonade by Virginia Euwer Wolff
My Heartbeat by Garret Freymann-Weyr
A Northern Light by Jennifer Donnelly
The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton (classic, obviously)
Persepolis: The Story of a Childhood by Marjane Satrapi
The Pigman by Paul Zindel
The Princess Diaries by Meg Cabot
Rules of the Road by Joan Bauer
Saving Francesca by Melina Marchetta
Sleeping Freshmen Never Lie by David Lubar
Son of the Mob by Gordon Korman
Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson
Staying Fat for Sarah Byrnes by Chris Crutcher
Stuck in Neutral by Terry Trueman
Twilight by Stephenie Meyer (nope nope nope, not gonna read it!)
Uglies by Scott Westerfeld
The Wee Free Men by Terry Pratchett
Weetzie Bat by Francesca Lia Block
Magazines
Game Pro
Seventeen
Rolling Stone
Shonen Jump (I always used to have kids order that from the book order!)
Mad (do they really still make that magazine??)
Audiobooks
The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian by Sherman Alexie (Recorded Books) (I just read this last week and LOVED it.)
Bloody Jack by L.A. Meyer (Listen and Live)
The Killer’s Cousin by Nancy Werlin (Brilliance)
To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee (Caedmon)
Wintersmith by Terry Pratchett (HarperAudio)
Bonus lists! "The Alex Awards are given to ten books written for adults that have special appeal to young adults, ages 12 through 18." Check out each year's list! They all sound really interesting.
I will bold the ones I have read. A lot I haven't heard of before, so I plan to keep an eye out for them!
Books
Acceleration by Graham McNamee
Alanna: The First Adventure by Tamora Pierce
All Things Bright and Beautiful by James Herriot
American Born Chinese by Gene Luen Yang
Among the Hidden by Margaret Peterson Haddix
Beauty by Robin McKinley (I found it when I was 12 or 13, reread it recently and still loved it about the same)
Black and White by Paul Volponi
Blizzard! The Storm that Changed America by Jim Murphy
Bone series by Jeff Smith
The Book Thief by Mark Zusak
Chocolate War by Robert Cormier
The Chosen by Chaim Potok (a-maz-ing, moving book.)
The Diary of a Young Girl: The Definitive Edition by Anne Frank
Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card
Fallen Angels by Walter Dean Myers
Fat Kid Rules the World by K.L. Going
Feed by M.T. Anderson
Fruits Basket series by Natsuki Takaya
The First Part Last by Angela Johnson
The Golden Compass by Philip Pullman (been meaning to read this series)
The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman
The Guinness Book of World Records
Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams
The House of the Scorpion by Nancy Farmer
The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
I Know What You Did Last Summer by Lois Duncan (Does seeing the movie count? :D)
I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou
If You Come Softly by Jacqueline Woodson
The Killer’s Cousin by Nancy Werlin
Lock and Key by Sarah Dessen (I've read a bunch of her other stuff and really liked it.)
Looking for Alaska by John Green (I just finished this today. Really good. Very emotional.)
Make Lemonade by Virginia Euwer Wolff
My Heartbeat by Garret Freymann-Weyr
A Northern Light by Jennifer Donnelly
The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton (classic, obviously)
Persepolis: The Story of a Childhood by Marjane Satrapi
The Pigman by Paul Zindel
The Princess Diaries by Meg Cabot
Rules of the Road by Joan Bauer
Saving Francesca by Melina Marchetta
Sleeping Freshmen Never Lie by David Lubar
Son of the Mob by Gordon Korman
Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson
Staying Fat for Sarah Byrnes by Chris Crutcher
Stuck in Neutral by Terry Trueman
Twilight by Stephenie Meyer (nope nope nope, not gonna read it!)
Uglies by Scott Westerfeld
The Wee Free Men by Terry Pratchett
Weetzie Bat by Francesca Lia Block
Magazines
Game Pro
Seventeen
Rolling Stone
Shonen Jump (I always used to have kids order that from the book order!)
Mad (do they really still make that magazine??)
Audiobooks
The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian by Sherman Alexie (Recorded Books) (I just read this last week and LOVED it.)
Bloody Jack by L.A. Meyer (Listen and Live)
The Killer’s Cousin by Nancy Werlin (Brilliance)
To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee (Caedmon)
Wintersmith by Terry Pratchett (HarperAudio)
Bonus lists! "The Alex Awards are given to ten books written for adults that have special appeal to young adults, ages 12 through 18." Check out each year's list! They all sound really interesting.
Saturday, August 08, 2009
Bookmark this
Mister Teacher at Learn Me Good posted a great guest post, filled with useful resource websites for teachers. Go there and bookmark for later use, like I did!
And, in the spirit of oh-my-god-i-can't-believe-school-is-sneaking-up-so-quickly-help, take a few moments to forget about that and laugh at this kitty traveler!
And, in the spirit of oh-my-god-i-can't-believe-school-is-sneaking-up-so-quickly-help, take a few moments to forget about that and laugh at this kitty traveler!
Thursday, August 06, 2009
Friday, July 10, 2009
[insert here]
[noise]
[shh]
[noise]
[whine, whine]
[moan, moan]
[boo, hoo]
[quiet desperation]
[suspended animation]
[blah, blah]
[sigh]
[shh]
[noise]
[whine, whine]
[moan, moan]
[boo, hoo]
[quiet desperation]
[suspended animation]
[blah, blah]
[sigh]
Monday, July 06, 2009
daily dose of something
Wow, I'm way behind and have much to share. Not at the moment, though. So take a few minutes and take a look at Seattlest's Mount Rainier scenic road trip photo essay. Gorgeous pics and witty captions--what's not to love?
I've been actually LOL-ing at Cake Wrecks.
You Suck at Craigslist is also quite entertaining.
Hope everyone's Monday is off to a great start!
I've been actually LOL-ing at Cake Wrecks.
You Suck at Craigslist is also quite entertaining.
Hope everyone's Monday is off to a great start!
Monday, June 29, 2009
Positively Peppy
I finally made some companions to the Mildly Melancholy playlist. I'll save Downright Depressing until the depths of December, shall I? :)
Most recently I made this playlist, and I am quite proud of it. I think it will most certainly make you happy too, so enjoy. :)
Build Me Up Buttercup--Temptations
Kodachrome--Paul Simon
Footloose--Kenny Loggins
Material Girl--Madonna
Black Cat--Janet Jackson
Pop! Goes My Heart--Hugh Grant
Fidelity--Regina Spektor
Ievan Polka--Loituma
Objection (Tango)--Shakira
Ain't No Other Man--Christina Aguilera
Dosvedanya Mio Bombino--Pink Martini
Livin' on the Edge--Aerosmith
Dirty Pop--Nsync
Miss Independent--Kelly Clarkson
My Name is Not Susan--Whitney Houston
Tymps (the Sick in the Head song)--Fiona Apple
Sexyback--Justin Timberlake
Most recently I made this playlist, and I am quite proud of it. I think it will most certainly make you happy too, so enjoy. :)
Build Me Up Buttercup--Temptations
Kodachrome--Paul Simon
Footloose--Kenny Loggins
Material Girl--Madonna
Black Cat--Janet Jackson
Pop! Goes My Heart--Hugh Grant
Fidelity--Regina Spektor
Ievan Polka--Loituma
Objection (Tango)--Shakira
Ain't No Other Man--Christina Aguilera
Dosvedanya Mio Bombino--Pink Martini
Livin' on the Edge--Aerosmith
Dirty Pop--Nsync
Miss Independent--Kelly Clarkson
My Name is Not Susan--Whitney Houston
Tymps (the Sick in the Head song)--Fiona Apple
Sexyback--Justin Timberlake
Thursday, June 25, 2009
The End Anew
Tomorrow is finally the last day of school here in New York City! My last day of working in a school was on Tuesday, so I've had a few days of summer already (and they have been fanfreakingtastic).
Congratulations and way to go to all the teachers out there--the ones that already finished up everywhere else, but especially to my NYC colleagues. I'm sure that you all feel the endless dragging on of June every year, but at last the end is nigh!
It will be nice to really put this year behind me. It's been a crazy one, to say the least. :)
We made it!
Congratulations and way to go to all the teachers out there--the ones that already finished up everywhere else, but especially to my NYC colleagues. I'm sure that you all feel the endless dragging on of June every year, but at last the end is nigh!
It will be nice to really put this year behind me. It's been a crazy one, to say the least. :)
We made it!
Thursday, June 18, 2009
gah
I've mentioned before that I'm terrible at decisions, right?
Don't worry; I won't subject you to more of my endless whining and introspection. Instead, you can look at some pretty pictures from Soho last weekend. You're welcome. :)
Don't worry; I won't subject you to more of my endless whining and introspection. Instead, you can look at some pretty pictures from Soho last weekend. You're welcome. :)
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
modified
Ended up with a school gig for the week, so this morning I got up early again to go to work! I can't complain about having a bit more income.
In some quiet moments today, I found myself making an actual pro/con list, for perhaps the first time in my life. Thinking is hard, yo.
In other news, today marks five years since I arrived in this crazy town. I landed in JFK after a overnight flight from Seattle, bleary, wearing the wrong clothes and toting a Giant Fucking Suitcase. It took two hours to get myself and that stupid bag from the airport to my sublet flat in the not-hipster section of Williamsburg. This is the bedroom (belonging to a friend of a friend who was working at a camp for the summer) where I stayed. However, it didn't look like this upon my arrival, because in my great intelligence I hadn't packed any bedding. That and my computer came a week later, in three boxes expensively shipped cross-country and just barely picked up via a car service in which my boxes barely fit and whose fare I couldn't actually pay in full (if only they'd had those card-swipers back then)! Oy, it was not an easy transition.
What a journey it's been, folks.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Happy Monday!
I feel like a whole new person! I had a fairly early appointment in the city, so I couldn't sleep in, but I certainly didn't have to get up anywhere in the 6am hour, which was a treat. I had lunch with the boyfriend and spent the afternoon reading and visiting my local library (yay!). Now that I'm home, it started pouring rain, so that's good timing.
This week will be so nice. I will go to a yoga class tomorrow with a friend, maybe join a field trip, do a photo assignment, try to apply for jobs, research a 4th of July excursion (quickly!), and work on photos from a recent engagement shoot and wedding!
This week will be so nice. I will go to a yoga class tomorrow with a friend, maybe join a field trip, do a photo assignment, try to apply for jobs, research a 4th of July excursion (quickly!), and work on photos from a recent engagement shoot and wedding!
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Out with a Bang, At Least
Hi friends! Thanks for your support.
Friday was interesting, going in knowing it was my last day. I did my best to be lalala and not care, but I did want it to still be a regular day and still try like all the other days.
Oy. It sure was a regular day, alright--pretty nasty. In the afternoon class, I tried to have them do some activities about that great story, All Summer in a Day (I think Nancy first told me about that story a few years ago). It was in an anthology that was in the room, so the questions just had them responding to or interacting with the book. Easy peasy, right?
Some of the kids started right away. The kids in the back half of the room decided it would be better to throw balls of paper back and forth at each other. Several kids were out of their seats. Other kids were just talking loudly.
A few minutes went by and I tried to review it out loud with them. A couple kids were with me. Most of the kids, however, kept talking and throwing things.
I started reading the story aloud to them. This had worked in the past to quiet them down. You know, kind of like hypnosis. Oh, silly me. The noise continued and in fact possibly got louder. So I got louder too, hoping to drown it out.
So there I am, SCREAMING this story out to a bunch of preteens who really couldn't give a shit, and I think to myself, Oh for fuck's sake! Give it up, self!
So I told them to finish the story and questions in the next hour. (Oh yes, there was still an entire hour left in this double class period.) I went and sat at the teacher desk, shaking my head to myself in disbelief.
Raucous disorder continues for the next long while. I watched them. But really, they never listen to anything I say and the admin doesn't do anything anyway, so what do I care? (I know. I'm a child too.)
Eventually, the whole thing just really started to piss me off. Well, not started to, obviously. I just got completely fed up. So I charged back to the front of the room and bellowed at them. "Don't you get it? You are WASTING your TIME. Do you even understand WHY schools like this exist? Do you know who scores the lowest on test scores? Who earns the lowest salaries? African Americans. [A girl yelled out, You're a racist!] Don't you understand? Every single adult in this building wants you to be on TOP of all those scales! {At this point I'm audibly choked up and I'm actually trembling, and every single kid in that room is gaping at me silently}" I went on and on about school, and time, and decisions, and college, and the future, and blahblahblah.
The bell rang and I vamoosed. During my rant, other teachers even peeked in to gawk at me. I ignored them and plugged on.
The kids are gonna go NUTS with happiness tomorrow when they find out I'm not here. Like, throw a parade of crazy. I feel sorry for whoever has to tell them and deal with them, because it won't be pretty.
But maybe they'll remember me a little.
Friday was interesting, going in knowing it was my last day. I did my best to be lalala and not care, but I did want it to still be a regular day and still try like all the other days.
Oy. It sure was a regular day, alright--pretty nasty. In the afternoon class, I tried to have them do some activities about that great story, All Summer in a Day (I think Nancy first told me about that story a few years ago). It was in an anthology that was in the room, so the questions just had them responding to or interacting with the book. Easy peasy, right?
Some of the kids started right away. The kids in the back half of the room decided it would be better to throw balls of paper back and forth at each other. Several kids were out of their seats. Other kids were just talking loudly.
A few minutes went by and I tried to review it out loud with them. A couple kids were with me. Most of the kids, however, kept talking and throwing things.
I started reading the story aloud to them. This had worked in the past to quiet them down. You know, kind of like hypnosis. Oh, silly me. The noise continued and in fact possibly got louder. So I got louder too, hoping to drown it out.
So there I am, SCREAMING this story out to a bunch of preteens who really couldn't give a shit, and I think to myself, Oh for fuck's sake! Give it up, self!
So I told them to finish the story and questions in the next hour. (Oh yes, there was still an entire hour left in this double class period.) I went and sat at the teacher desk, shaking my head to myself in disbelief.
Raucous disorder continues for the next long while. I watched them. But really, they never listen to anything I say and the admin doesn't do anything anyway, so what do I care? (I know. I'm a child too.)
Eventually, the whole thing just really started to piss me off. Well, not started to, obviously. I just got completely fed up. So I charged back to the front of the room and bellowed at them. "Don't you get it? You are WASTING your TIME. Do you even understand WHY schools like this exist? Do you know who scores the lowest on test scores? Who earns the lowest salaries? African Americans. [A girl yelled out, You're a racist!] Don't you understand? Every single adult in this building wants you to be on TOP of all those scales! {At this point I'm audibly choked up and I'm actually trembling, and every single kid in that room is gaping at me silently}" I went on and on about school, and time, and decisions, and college, and the future, and blahblahblah.
The bell rang and I vamoosed. During my rant, other teachers even peeked in to gawk at me. I ignored them and plugged on.
The kids are gonna go NUTS with happiness tomorrow when they find out I'm not here. Like, throw a parade of crazy. I feel sorry for whoever has to tell them and deal with them, because it won't be pretty.
But maybe they'll remember me a little.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
I don't know much.
I've been feeling weird this week. Up, down, down, up. Sure, unsure. Decisive, indecisive.
Today, after a ridiculous day, which isn't even abnormal, I finally decided I'd had enough. I called my agency and told them that tomorrow will be my last day subbing at this school.
I made some test calls to my bf and my mom beforehand, and I cried a bit. I was unnerved by a bad day, a weird week, and trying to shore up my strength and hoping that this was the right thing to do.
I've been trying to tell myself to learn from my past, my mistakes, my ignorance. At the other school, it was bad. Every once in a while it would be slightly less bad and I'd be fooled as the next day the awfulness returned. I didn't like it. I cried. I stayed and pretended to be strong and insisted I could make it, even as I lost my temper, hours of sleep, and buckets of tears.
I didn't want to quit. I should have quit. Possibly never even started.
I've been at this school since mid-March. Three months of near-daily abuse, of varying degrees, BY CHILDREN. I took over a class of students who showed glimmers of tenderness and glimpses of souls, but who mainly showed hatefulness--toward each other, toward me, toward any work whatsoever.
I called parents. I wrote up the referrals. The children continued to fight, to curse, to show blatant disrespect, with ZERO consequences and almost no change. TWO fights broke out this afternoon, for stupid shit. It's all stupid shit. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
*I* am stupid for staying this long. I told myself I shouldn't come back after spring break. I came back. I thought, maybe it's not so bad. Maybe things can get better. Maybe they're starting to see that I'm not really so evil.
But, stupid, of course I am! How dare I quiz the students on the grammar 'we' were 'practicing' for the last two days! How dare I insist that students stay in their goddamned SEAT while class is going on! How DARE I expect the administration to actually DO SOMETHING about the awful behavior of the children who have been acting up all fucking year!
So yes, I cried this afternoon. Is it cowardly to quit this 'job' with two weeks left in the year? Am I abandoning the children? Surely I was starting to reach some of them? Surely they *all* didn't despise me?
Surely it can't be that bad for only ten more days? But god, when each day starts feeling like torture? When the kids resist anything and everything I say?
I am forfeiting a thousand dollars, which is a month's rent or lots of bills paid or a trip somewhere. Now I face two and a half months of no sure income, which is really scary.
But I think I finally realized that these terrible, draining days are NOT worth it--not worth the money or the time or the abuse. I really don't like feeling like a quitter, but I *will* like getting up in the morning again.
Today, after a ridiculous day, which isn't even abnormal, I finally decided I'd had enough. I called my agency and told them that tomorrow will be my last day subbing at this school.
I made some test calls to my bf and my mom beforehand, and I cried a bit. I was unnerved by a bad day, a weird week, and trying to shore up my strength and hoping that this was the right thing to do.
I've been trying to tell myself to learn from my past, my mistakes, my ignorance. At the other school, it was bad. Every once in a while it would be slightly less bad and I'd be fooled as the next day the awfulness returned. I didn't like it. I cried. I stayed and pretended to be strong and insisted I could make it, even as I lost my temper, hours of sleep, and buckets of tears.
I didn't want to quit. I should have quit. Possibly never even started.
I've been at this school since mid-March. Three months of near-daily abuse, of varying degrees, BY CHILDREN. I took over a class of students who showed glimmers of tenderness and glimpses of souls, but who mainly showed hatefulness--toward each other, toward me, toward any work whatsoever.
I called parents. I wrote up the referrals. The children continued to fight, to curse, to show blatant disrespect, with ZERO consequences and almost no change. TWO fights broke out this afternoon, for stupid shit. It's all stupid shit. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
*I* am stupid for staying this long. I told myself I shouldn't come back after spring break. I came back. I thought, maybe it's not so bad. Maybe things can get better. Maybe they're starting to see that I'm not really so evil.
But, stupid, of course I am! How dare I quiz the students on the grammar 'we' were 'practicing' for the last two days! How dare I insist that students stay in their goddamned SEAT while class is going on! How DARE I expect the administration to actually DO SOMETHING about the awful behavior of the children who have been acting up all fucking year!
So yes, I cried this afternoon. Is it cowardly to quit this 'job' with two weeks left in the year? Am I abandoning the children? Surely I was starting to reach some of them? Surely they *all* didn't despise me?
Surely it can't be that bad for only ten more days? But god, when each day starts feeling like torture? When the kids resist anything and everything I say?
I am forfeiting a thousand dollars, which is a month's rent or lots of bills paid or a trip somewhere. Now I face two and a half months of no sure income, which is really scary.
But I think I finally realized that these terrible, draining days are NOT worth it--not worth the money or the time or the abuse. I really don't like feeling like a quitter, but I *will* like getting up in the morning again.
Thursday, June 04, 2009
Accomplished!
sleep in: check!
library: check!
gorillapod: check!
eyebrows: check!
haircut: check!! cute and feeling good!
bonus:
dropped off some paperwork
worked on wedding photos
making cookies
made a kick-ass playlist called Positively Peppy
I should have worked out today too. But meh. That would ruin the FUN of a day off.
Tomorrow I am buying a new tv--mine is toast. We've decided on a 37-inch HDTV flat thing, one that's not too expensive, and I am excited!
After that, road trip to see flickr friends upstate! Yay!
library: check!
gorillapod: check!
eyebrows: check!
haircut: check!! cute and feeling good!
bonus:
dropped off some paperwork
worked on wedding photos
making cookies
made a kick-ass playlist called Positively Peppy
I should have worked out today too. But meh. That would ruin the FUN of a day off.
Tomorrow I am buying a new tv--mine is toast. We've decided on a 37-inch HDTV flat thing, one that's not too expensive, and I am excited!
After that, road trip to see flickr friends upstate! Yay!
Wednesday, June 03, 2009
Breathe In. Breathe Out.
I could have used some Zen today. The kids were *worse.*
Big fight broke out in my room yesterday. The other kids immediately tried to separate them and at least five teachers saw/heard it from the hallway and stormed in.
Today? Both the kids back in class.
I think that is DISGUSTING.
I had to call a parent in class at the end of the day, because a child was flipping off another child. While I was watching and telling him to stop. He just kept waving them around, chanting, it's just a finger! it's just a finger! I talked to the dad, put the kid on the phone, and then I got the phone again. He tried to tell me about some bullshit tale the kid spun and I cut him off politely but also tiredly. "Sir," I said, trying to keep the edge out of my voice, because REALLY, "that is nonsense. He is making stuff up."
Today I really did contemplate throwing in the towel, because this shit is NOT worth the hundred dollars a day that I clear. They're starting to get to me and I don't need that crap. From eleven year olds.
On a HAPPY OH MY GOD HALLELUJAH note:
We don't have school tomorrow! Oh thank God, Zeus, and all the other deities!
Here is my tentative to-do list:
Sleep in.
Lay about like a bum.
Perhaps nap if I feel like it.
Go the library!
Go into the city.
Get a haircut finally.
Get my crazy eyebrows waxed (it's been two months!).
Buy a new gorillapod (mine has lost most of its structural integrity).
Go home.
Laze about some more.
Sleep.
Big fight broke out in my room yesterday. The other kids immediately tried to separate them and at least five teachers saw/heard it from the hallway and stormed in.
Today? Both the kids back in class.
I think that is DISGUSTING.
I had to call a parent in class at the end of the day, because a child was flipping off another child. While I was watching and telling him to stop. He just kept waving them around, chanting, it's just a finger! it's just a finger! I talked to the dad, put the kid on the phone, and then I got the phone again. He tried to tell me about some bullshit tale the kid spun and I cut him off politely but also tiredly. "Sir," I said, trying to keep the edge out of my voice, because REALLY, "that is nonsense. He is making stuff up."
Today I really did contemplate throwing in the towel, because this shit is NOT worth the hundred dollars a day that I clear. They're starting to get to me and I don't need that crap. From eleven year olds.
On a HAPPY OH MY GOD HALLELUJAH note:
We don't have school tomorrow! Oh thank God, Zeus, and all the other deities!
Here is my tentative to-do list:
Sleep in.
Lay about like a bum.
Perhaps nap if I feel like it.
Go the library!
Go into the city.
Get a haircut finally.
Get my crazy eyebrows waxed (it's been two months!).
Buy a new gorillapod (mine has lost most of its structural integrity).
Go home.
Laze about some more.
Sleep.
Tuesday, June 02, 2009
UGH.
I quite hated my job today. Full of nasty, nasty attitude from preteens. Not my cup of tea. I can never tell if these occasions are the kids being worse, or me being less tolerant.
Mind you, things that would get a kid suspended at a more affluent school happen eighty times a day with zero consequence.
I hate it all.
Days like this are when I really battle with myself: It's just a sub job, it's not permanent! versus: Exactly, it's just subbing--nothing is tying you here--LEAVE! versus: God, it's June already, only a few more weeks. versus: Holy crap, WEEKS?!
Ugh, indeed.
Here, take a pretty flower for your troubles.
Monday, June 01, 2009
What's that I see?
Oh yes! It's the end of the tunnel! It's in sight!
Yes, folks, today it is finally, actually JUNE.
Which means, ridiculously, that we have a mere four weeks left. Well, four weeks minus one day, after today, of course.
Last week, That Kid made me lose my teacherly composure. He started waving out the window (we're on the top floor). I gave him a "wtf" look. "I'm saying hi to the trees! They're my friends!" Then he gestured toward me, and he shook his head witheringly at the windows and then proceeded to mime an animated conversation. Really, I had to smile. Later he started licking his arm. Another 'wtf' look from me. He said impatiently, "I'm giving myself a bath!" That Kid, indeed.
The week before, when it was really sunny and gorgeous, I put forth an extra ninety seconds of effort and wore my contacts. Halfway through the day, a girl suddenly asked me, "Miss, where are your glasses?" Right on cue, another goes chimes in, "What glasses?"
I wear glasses every day.
BUT! Maybe now that it's JUNE! WOO! I will need those contacts a bit more!
Yes, folks, today it is finally, actually JUNE.
Which means, ridiculously, that we have a mere four weeks left. Well, four weeks minus one day, after today, of course.
Last week, That Kid made me lose my teacherly composure. He started waving out the window (we're on the top floor). I gave him a "wtf" look. "I'm saying hi to the trees! They're my friends!" Then he gestured toward me, and he shook his head witheringly at the windows and then proceeded to mime an animated conversation. Really, I had to smile. Later he started licking his arm. Another 'wtf' look from me. He said impatiently, "I'm giving myself a bath!" That Kid, indeed.
The week before, when it was really sunny and gorgeous, I put forth an extra ninety seconds of effort and wore my contacts. Halfway through the day, a girl suddenly asked me, "Miss, where are your glasses?" Right on cue, another goes chimes in, "What glasses?"
I wear glasses every day.
BUT! Maybe now that it's JUNE! WOO! I will need those contacts a bit more!
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Memorial
I am very excited about having a three-day weekend. The class and I had a very rough week. Two students in particular are just ridiculously disruptive and unrepentant. Happily, two other difficult students are showing steps toward progress. They both did very well on quizzes late in the week, and when they saw their grades, they crowed with pride. I love that. Those are the ones that I think I'm getting to. They are a pain in my ass, and I'm a pain in their ass (because I don't let up), but they have started to like and respect me (and I, begrudgingly, might be loving them a little).
This has been my modus operandi for the past five years, actually. It's kind of hard to explain (I don't even know if I tried to articulate it during interviews last spring). You know, I just chip away and chip away at a kid, and just about always they start turning around. Sometimes it's only a little, and it's not like the kid suddenly gets an A in the class, but their attitude and their work start improving, bit by bit. By the end of the year, they totally love me, even if they would never admit it, and I totally love them back. (And it's taken me nearly five years to understand that about myself.) I don't think it's a great method and I think it's probably played a part in the gray hairs and insomnia that pop up here and there.
Dammit, this is why I want to leave teaching, but then say, wait, maybe it's not so bad. Gah! The day-to-day kills me. I have so little patience and I often tease instead of show kindness. (But I tease out of a good place, I promise; it's not malicious.) (The kids mostly get this. I think.) The never-ending overwhelming pressure to plan plan plan plan PLAN plan keepplanning PLAN wears me the hell out. I dread making parent phone calls--will someone answer? will the parent yell at you? will the parent threaten the child at you? will the parent be completely impotent? will a voice mail reach the intended parent or guardian? will a child care at all that a call was made?
Bonding with a kid is pretty cool. Seeing a kid who cares about the work, without prompting or begging or bribing, is pretty neat. Seeing a kid laugh at your stupid jokes is definitely cool. Watching a kid get a little better in school is fantastic. Getting a hug out of the blue is amazing.
Seeing how many kids do no homework sucks. Hearing kids cuss each other and you out, day in and day out, sucks. Looking at the quality of work done makes me want to die. Watching kids refuse to change and improve makes me want to throw them out the window. Hell, it makes me want to throw myself out the damn window. Especially when it's eleventybillion degrees in the classroom and we're all feeling smothered by humid, adolescent-tinged air.
There's always something wrong--not enough materials. Too many kids in the room. Things go broken or missing. Never enough books. Never enough parent involvement. Never a completely competent administration--you're lucky if there's one good one out of the bunch. Too many tests. Too many stupid inconsequential things like bulletin boards. Never enough hard-core discipline support that actually works. Never enough useful meetings--the development either isn't professional or doesn't develop anything. For god's sake, why is there no recycling program in NYC schools??
I've never been able to shut these out. I can't help the righteous indignation--goddammit, we shouldn't have to deal with this! Why can't something be done? Why can't we do this instead? Why don't we get more notice for events? Why can't the systems be logical, for crying out loud?
I've now worked in a handful of schools. None of them have the answers. All of them have problems, and though the schools themselves are sort of different, the problems are all essentially the same. The job is always essentially the same.
I really don't know if I'm cut out for it, and I really don't know if I *want* to be cut out for it.
This has been my modus operandi for the past five years, actually. It's kind of hard to explain (I don't even know if I tried to articulate it during interviews last spring). You know, I just chip away and chip away at a kid, and just about always they start turning around. Sometimes it's only a little, and it's not like the kid suddenly gets an A in the class, but their attitude and their work start improving, bit by bit. By the end of the year, they totally love me, even if they would never admit it, and I totally love them back. (And it's taken me nearly five years to understand that about myself.) I don't think it's a great method and I think it's probably played a part in the gray hairs and insomnia that pop up here and there.
Dammit, this is why I want to leave teaching, but then say, wait, maybe it's not so bad. Gah! The day-to-day kills me. I have so little patience and I often tease instead of show kindness. (But I tease out of a good place, I promise; it's not malicious.) (The kids mostly get this. I think.) The never-ending overwhelming pressure to plan plan plan plan PLAN plan keepplanning PLAN wears me the hell out. I dread making parent phone calls--will someone answer? will the parent yell at you? will the parent threaten the child at you? will the parent be completely impotent? will a voice mail reach the intended parent or guardian? will a child care at all that a call was made?
Bonding with a kid is pretty cool. Seeing a kid who cares about the work, without prompting or begging or bribing, is pretty neat. Seeing a kid laugh at your stupid jokes is definitely cool. Watching a kid get a little better in school is fantastic. Getting a hug out of the blue is amazing.
Seeing how many kids do no homework sucks. Hearing kids cuss each other and you out, day in and day out, sucks. Looking at the quality of work done makes me want to die. Watching kids refuse to change and improve makes me want to throw them out the window. Hell, it makes me want to throw myself out the damn window. Especially when it's eleventybillion degrees in the classroom and we're all feeling smothered by humid, adolescent-tinged air.
There's always something wrong--not enough materials. Too many kids in the room. Things go broken or missing. Never enough books. Never enough parent involvement. Never a completely competent administration--you're lucky if there's one good one out of the bunch. Too many tests. Too many stupid inconsequential things like bulletin boards. Never enough hard-core discipline support that actually works. Never enough useful meetings--the development either isn't professional or doesn't develop anything. For god's sake, why is there no recycling program in NYC schools??
I've never been able to shut these out. I can't help the righteous indignation--goddammit, we shouldn't have to deal with this! Why can't something be done? Why can't we do this instead? Why don't we get more notice for events? Why can't the systems be logical, for crying out loud?
I've now worked in a handful of schools. None of them have the answers. All of them have problems, and though the schools themselves are sort of different, the problems are all essentially the same. The job is always essentially the same.
I really don't know if I'm cut out for it, and I really don't know if I *want* to be cut out for it.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Oy.
Miraculously, last Friday afternoon was actually really nice with the kids.
Which means, of course, that today, they were Monsters.
This weekend, I roamed the city with a group of fun friends. We did long exposures at the Brooklyn Bridge landing, walked across the Williamsburg Bridge, molested the Wall Street Bull (I actually climbed up on its neck), flopped in the Central Park grass, brunched in Brooklyn, and of course, took bunches of photographs. All these people are great photographers too and I learned a lot from them--notably how to use my flash remotely (it's really freaking cool!) and the viewfinder exposure meter, and the awesomeness of black and white.
This afternoon I had to walk a couple places and I kept my camera in manual mode. On the way home I put it in black and white and fell in love.
I must say a manual photo-walk is a good way to take my mind of this ridiculous job. :)
Sunday, May 17, 2009
A Good Reading Deed for the Day
It's tough being sort-of employed. My bank account gets a boost every couple weeks, so part of me is like, woo, I have no budget, I don't need to watch my money anymore! But of course, the other part of me still feels actually unemployed; I suppose because it's temporary.
Anyway, I checked in at The Longstockings, a collaborative blog of YA/middle grades authors, and saw a link to the Guys Lit Wire project with Inside Out Writers. Guys Lit Wire put together a Book Fair for Boys, to get interesting books into the hands of boys in the LA County juvenile justice system.
Well, I don't know about you, but I think that that sounds like a fanfreakingtastic way to spend a few dollars, even with my semi-employment budget.
Please read about the project here and find out the important information. They've set up a well-thought-out wishlist through Powell's to send directly to one of the teachers in the program.
Please take a few minutes and help bring more children the joy of reading!
Anyway, I checked in at The Longstockings, a collaborative blog of YA/middle grades authors, and saw a link to the Guys Lit Wire project with Inside Out Writers. Guys Lit Wire put together a Book Fair for Boys, to get interesting books into the hands of boys in the LA County juvenile justice system.
Well, I don't know about you, but I think that that sounds like a fanfreakingtastic way to spend a few dollars, even with my semi-employment budget.
Please read about the project here and find out the important information. They've set up a well-thought-out wishlist through Powell's to send directly to one of the teachers in the program.
Please take a few minutes and help bring more children the joy of reading!
Thursday, May 14, 2009
almost friday
Ugh, I am so. tired.
My knees are doing okay. They ached a lot when I woke up on Monday, and I worked out that night. Tuesday morning, they didn't ache! Isn't that interesting?
I did yoga on Tuesday night and the Shred again tonight.
The kids are acting craaazypants. Which is totally normal, I suppose.
However, a teacher said to me the other day that I'm doing a really great job with them, and that other teachers think so too. I guess they were even worse before? Maybe with other subs or something?
Anyway, that was nice to hear. Not sure that I totally believe it, but it was very nice to hear indeed.
Mostly, I'm tired.
Hanging out with photog friends this weekend and hoping to go to Trailblazers too!
My knees are doing okay. They ached a lot when I woke up on Monday, and I worked out that night. Tuesday morning, they didn't ache! Isn't that interesting?
I did yoga on Tuesday night and the Shred again tonight.
The kids are acting craaazypants. Which is totally normal, I suppose.
However, a teacher said to me the other day that I'm doing a really great job with them, and that other teachers think so too. I guess they were even worse before? Maybe with other subs or something?
Anyway, that was nice to hear. Not sure that I totally believe it, but it was very nice to hear indeed.
Mostly, I'm tired.
Hanging out with photog friends this weekend and hoping to go to Trailblazers too!
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Phone: How Not to do it
Ring ring.
Me: Hello?
Some Dude: Hello?
Me: Yes?
SD: Uh, I got a call.
Me: ....
SD: What city is this?
Me: I'm in New York. ...Did you get a message?
SD: I saw a missed call and this area code.
Me: (rolling my eyes hard enough to roll right onto the floor) ...Do you have a student at Such-and-Such School?
SD: Such...and...Such...School? Naw.
Me: Okay, then I don't know what to tell you...
---
Yesterday, I made some phone calls to parents. You know, like you do. I had gotten a number from a kid and I called it. Makes sense, right? Left a message, etc.
An hour or so later, I got a call from a number. "Yes, you called my daughter but the person you called didn't get the message because I'm in New York and you're in Washington." Um, huh?
It actually took like five full minutes for it to be clear that this woman was trying to say that I had the wrong number. Even though it wasn't actually *her* that got the call and even though the kid had given me the number not three hours earlier. Strange, right?
So of course, this morning when I was in the office, I heard a secretary ask if someone had called this particular child's mom because she called back.
Aha!
--
The Phone: It's Really Not That Hard, People!
Me: Hello?
Some Dude: Hello?
Me: Yes?
SD: Uh, I got a call.
Me: ....
SD: What city is this?
Me: I'm in New York. ...Did you get a message?
SD: I saw a missed call and this area code.
Me: (rolling my eyes hard enough to roll right onto the floor) ...Do you have a student at Such-and-Such School?
SD: Such...and...Such...School? Naw.
Me: Okay, then I don't know what to tell you...
---
Yesterday, I made some phone calls to parents. You know, like you do. I had gotten a number from a kid and I called it. Makes sense, right? Left a message, etc.
An hour or so later, I got a call from a number. "Yes, you called my daughter but the person you called didn't get the message because I'm in New York and you're in Washington." Um, huh?
It actually took like five full minutes for it to be clear that this woman was trying to say that I had the wrong number. Even though it wasn't actually *her* that got the call and even though the kid had given me the number not three hours earlier. Strange, right?
So of course, this morning when I was in the office, I heard a secretary ask if someone had called this particular child's mom because she called back.
Aha!
--
The Phone: It's Really Not That Hard, People!
Monday, May 11, 2009
Odds and Ends
Someone the other day referred to me as "blondish." Now, even working in school where no students are Caucasian, I think my hair could never be mistaken for anything resembling blond, ish or no.
I got a message from a parent of a student at my former school. She was checking up on her child to see how he's doing.
Um.
This child was a bit...special, but I would think in the last FOUR MONTHS he would mention to his mother that one of his teachers suddenly left!
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Oh hello.
I'm proud to report that I left the house multiple times today! First for brunch at the local diner across the street, then to the new Citi Field, and then on to a photog assignment.
As always, I'm not too keen on the idea of Monday morning. Right now I'm doing my best to push through each day, but it's pretty much Just A Job to me.
And this is the issue that keeps coming up in my mind and I have to keep pushing it back down because it's such a big deal: 1. I don't want to teach anymore. At least, not like this, in schools like these. 2. I'm not qualified for most jobs out there that aren't teaching, so 3. I might have to suck it up and try to teach another year.
Countdown to head stuck back in the sand in 3...2...1.
I'm proud to report that I left the house multiple times today! First for brunch at the local diner across the street, then to the new Citi Field, and then on to a photog assignment.
As always, I'm not too keen on the idea of Monday morning. Right now I'm doing my best to push through each day, but it's pretty much Just A Job to me.
And this is the issue that keeps coming up in my mind and I have to keep pushing it back down because it's such a big deal: 1. I don't want to teach anymore. At least, not like this, in schools like these. 2. I'm not qualified for most jobs out there that aren't teaching, so 3. I might have to suck it up and try to teach another year.
Countdown to head stuck back in the sand in 3...2...1.
Friday, May 08, 2009
Thursday, May 07, 2009
squishy knee mcgee
I'm now in my fourth week of my exercise chart! ((Cue applause)) I took the day off entirely yesterday (from working out, not from working, obvs) so made sure to do something this evening. I had a photography meeting in the city for a couple hours, so I got home a little late, but I faithfully let Gilad Totally Sculpt me.
Sadly, my right knee has officially begun twinging. This is not happy news, friends. I suppose it was inevitable; it happens every time I start getting more exercise. I always feel like a big wimp complaining about my aches and pains (my high school gymnastics coach gave me the Ice Princess award at the end of one season because of my constant icing and taping of various body parts). But I have had to see doctors about this stupid knee, so I don't want to ignore it even if I could.
For now I'll try to take it a little easier, do more yoga or something, and maybe ice it here and there. (I wanted to tonight but ran out of time.) Might even use that drugstore knee brace a little.
Tomorrow is Friday, and that's always good news.
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
I wish I had a hangover
Because then at least I would have a reason for not sleeping and waking with a big ol' headache. Instead, I went to bed early and couldn't sleep until like 4am. Waaah!
This morning was pretty rough. The kids were off and I was off. The afternoon wasn't pretty either. But it ended in kind of a cool way. See, I'm teaching this class now, but their regular teacher is still in the school. A couple weeks ago Real Teacher had to give the class a Stern Talking To that they have to listen to me. This one kid, you know, That Kid, scoffed and called out, "Yo, we don't like her! She gotta bounce!"
That Kid has continued to be That Kid, but has shown bits of humanity here and there with encouragement. And today at the end of the day he was like, "I'm gonna walk with you, Miss." I said, "Oh really? Don't I have to bounce?" He smiled a little and said, "No, you gotta stay, stay."
Well, folks, my heart grew about half a size right then. (Because tomorrow morning he will resume being That Kid.)
This morning was pretty rough. The kids were off and I was off. The afternoon wasn't pretty either. But it ended in kind of a cool way. See, I'm teaching this class now, but their regular teacher is still in the school. A couple weeks ago Real Teacher had to give the class a Stern Talking To that they have to listen to me. This one kid, you know, That Kid, scoffed and called out, "Yo, we don't like her! She gotta bounce!"
That Kid has continued to be That Kid, but has shown bits of humanity here and there with encouragement. And today at the end of the day he was like, "I'm gonna walk with you, Miss." I said, "Oh really? Don't I have to bounce?" He smiled a little and said, "No, you gotta stay, stay."
Well, folks, my heart grew about half a size right then. (Because tomorrow morning he will resume being That Kid.)
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
Carmen Crankypants Has Left the Building
I am not cranky today, but I am still tired. Strangely, less tired than yesterday even though I didn't sleep well last night. I am, however, more hydrated than I was yesterday. Anyone want to give me a fancy government health grant to investigate the corrolation between water intake and pouty output?
One long dream involved going home and having to take a car service from one place to another, a half-hour trip, for four hundred dollars. !? It was the middle of the night and dream me was all, ok, whatever it takes, I guess. So I had the driver stop at the WaMu on Mercer Island (what odd realistic details), which was full of people despite the time. Later I was at some kind of churchy hall thing and I ran into two friends from high school (who I haven't seen in real life since then) and a former student all grown up (much older than she is in real life; I think she must be a freshman this year).
I started reading during some of my prep periods again. Today I did some reading and some sudoku, and I correctly solved two puzzles in a row! Also, the song Cell Block Tango, from Chicago, came on my ipod and I could not keep myself still for the life of me. I was tapping, swaying, twitching all over the place. Well, not like a totally crazy person, I was trying to be semi-subtle. While almost dancing in public, which I guess means not so subtle.
I want a haircut. Today after going to the bank, I walked around downtown Brooklyn trying to find a hair salon. And I couldn't. Isn't that odd? If I don't find one tomorrow, I'm just going to cut it myself tomorrow. I gave myself a decent haircut once, back in the day before I moved to NYC; I was pretty impressed with the results. And that way, if it doesn't work out great or I decide to go shorter, I won't have to pay twice.
I haven't sent out any job applications for a couple weeks. As of June 27, my life is a blank. Kind of weird. I'm not freaking out about it only because I'm pretending not to know about it. :)
One long dream involved going home and having to take a car service from one place to another, a half-hour trip, for four hundred dollars. !? It was the middle of the night and dream me was all, ok, whatever it takes, I guess. So I had the driver stop at the WaMu on Mercer Island (what odd realistic details), which was full of people despite the time. Later I was at some kind of churchy hall thing and I ran into two friends from high school (who I haven't seen in real life since then) and a former student all grown up (much older than she is in real life; I think she must be a freshman this year).
I started reading during some of my prep periods again. Today I did some reading and some sudoku, and I correctly solved two puzzles in a row! Also, the song Cell Block Tango, from Chicago, came on my ipod and I could not keep myself still for the life of me. I was tapping, swaying, twitching all over the place. Well, not like a totally crazy person, I was trying to be semi-subtle. While almost dancing in public, which I guess means not so subtle.
I want a haircut. Today after going to the bank, I walked around downtown Brooklyn trying to find a hair salon. And I couldn't. Isn't that odd? If I don't find one tomorrow, I'm just going to cut it myself tomorrow. I gave myself a decent haircut once, back in the day before I moved to NYC; I was pretty impressed with the results. And that way, if it doesn't work out great or I decide to go shorter, I won't have to pay twice.
I haven't sent out any job applications for a couple weeks. As of June 27, my life is a blank. Kind of weird. I'm not freaking out about it only because I'm pretending not to know about it. :)
Monday, May 04, 2009
MEH.
I am so tired and now I'm also terribly cranky.
I forced myself to do a hard workout, so I'm also already sore and a little trembly. I've exercised three days in a row and still feel bigger than I have in awhile. Maybe potato chips for dinner wasn't such a good idea?
I'm totally over this week already. Is it Friday yet?
I better get to bed before I cause any more damage. Apologies if you're reading this.
I forced myself to do a hard workout, so I'm also already sore and a little trembly. I've exercised three days in a row and still feel bigger than I have in awhile. Maybe potato chips for dinner wasn't such a good idea?
I'm totally over this week already. Is it Friday yet?
I better get to bed before I cause any more damage. Apologies if you're reading this.
Sunday, May 03, 2009
Two days in a row!
Look at me trying to maintain a goal!
It's Sunday. This weekend has gone far too quickly for my taste. Yesterday I gave myself the day off (I declined a photo event gig) and tried to sleep in. (I am very unhappy to report that after a good month and a half of wonderful sleep on my own, in the last week I have not gotten a single full night of good sleep. Bad job!) I watched tv in my pajamas for a big chunk of the day. Later, however, I did exercise and then walk to the grocery store.
Today I shot two events, including the 5 boro bike race. It was rainy the whole time, and I was outside for several hours, walking several miles. I wasn't too thrilled with the vast majority of the photos I took. I haven't felt too creative or artistic lately, and I'm not sure if it's laziness, or a lack of talent, or lack of motivation, or what.
I've been wanting to take another photography class for awhile now. The issue is money and also level. I think I have a steady paycheck for another two months, but right now I have nothing lined up for the summer. So I'm afraid to pay a couple hundred dollars on what seems like vanity, when in a few months I'm going to need those dollars to pay bills.
I think I'm shooting some weddings (as a second shooter) in the next couple months too, though, which will be a fun learning experience. I totally psyched myself out of my first wedding shoot and it really wasn't worth it, so now I'm kind of doing the opposite and practically forgetting about the shoots. That's probably not so much of a good idea, either. :)
When I started subbing, I did a lot of reading on my time off during the day, and burned through a lot of books. In the last couple weeks, though, I've done almost no reading at all, instead choosing to spend hours on sudoku! I'm struggling my way through the Sudoku For Dummies book, which is kind of disheartening considering that most of the puzzles beat me the first time through and I have to erase and start over. One in particular I've tried four different times! I gave up on that one. It's certainly a good exercise in patience to calmly work through a single puzzle instead of clucking in frustration and going on to the next one when I get stuck.
That's all for now, hope everyone has a lovely Sunday evening.
It's Sunday. This weekend has gone far too quickly for my taste. Yesterday I gave myself the day off (I declined a photo event gig) and tried to sleep in. (I am very unhappy to report that after a good month and a half of wonderful sleep on my own, in the last week I have not gotten a single full night of good sleep. Bad job!) I watched tv in my pajamas for a big chunk of the day. Later, however, I did exercise and then walk to the grocery store.
Today I shot two events, including the 5 boro bike race. It was rainy the whole time, and I was outside for several hours, walking several miles. I wasn't too thrilled with the vast majority of the photos I took. I haven't felt too creative or artistic lately, and I'm not sure if it's laziness, or a lack of talent, or lack of motivation, or what.
I've been wanting to take another photography class for awhile now. The issue is money and also level. I think I have a steady paycheck for another two months, but right now I have nothing lined up for the summer. So I'm afraid to pay a couple hundred dollars on what seems like vanity, when in a few months I'm going to need those dollars to pay bills.
I think I'm shooting some weddings (as a second shooter) in the next couple months too, though, which will be a fun learning experience. I totally psyched myself out of my first wedding shoot and it really wasn't worth it, so now I'm kind of doing the opposite and practically forgetting about the shoots. That's probably not so much of a good idea, either. :)
When I started subbing, I did a lot of reading on my time off during the day, and burned through a lot of books. In the last couple weeks, though, I've done almost no reading at all, instead choosing to spend hours on sudoku! I'm struggling my way through the Sudoku For Dummies book, which is kind of disheartening considering that most of the puzzles beat me the first time through and I have to erase and start over. One in particular I've tried four different times! I gave up on that one. It's certainly a good exercise in patience to calmly work through a single puzzle instead of clucking in frustration and going on to the next one when I get stuck.
That's all for now, hope everyone has a lovely Sunday evening.
Saturday, May 02, 2009
MAYbe I should just shut up and blog already
Hey all, it's May! How the hell did that happen? That also means that I am now six months from that big number--thirty!
I've seen a couple people have big, interesting lists of things to accomplish by a certain time or age. In the back of my mind I tried to think up some things I could do for that, but nothing came to mind (also, I didn't exactly try very hard ).
Around spring break a few weeks ago, I finally realized that it's stupid for me to be out of shape. For the first time in months, I actually have time to myself outside of work. (Well, except for the two months I was out of work. That was just plain laziness.) And I live with someone who is always, always diligent about going to the gym. So! No more excuses!
Starting spring break, I promised myself I would exercise at least two times a week. I actually made up a chart--originally supposed to be a sticker chart, because apparently I'm still in sixth grade myself--to keep track of how often and how much.
I am very proud to say that it's going well! It's now been three complete weeks and I have exercised at least three times per week. Thank goodness for this beautiful weather (Finally! Spring!); I do a little walking here and there (which totally counts on my chart).
Work-wise, I've been subbing. I actually have a long-term position through the end of the year, which is a good deal to have right now. It's been about a month, maybe, so I know lots of names (of kids, not of teachers)(teachers don't talk to subs, but I knew that already so it doesn't bother me or anything). This school has SmartBoards, and it's the first time I've ever seen them and used them. They're fantastic tools, if you have computers and powerpoints to hook them up to. I actually have been 'teaching' a class for the last three weeks or so, the same group of sixth graders in my preferred subject. They are not easy kids by any means, but they're not nearly as nasty as the older kids in this school (whom I was covering for my first two weeks). Some of them are downright sweet. Well, sometimes.
It's a pretty sweet gig, because it's temporary and technically they're not my kids, which means I'm not investing any real emotional energy. This means that when I leave school right at the final bell, my mind clears. What a revelation!
I'm still doing freelance photo events for the newspaper, once or twice a week. I finally got my hands on a couple hard copies of papers with my photos on the front page--that is a pretty awesome thing to see.
There are more things rolling around in my head and I might challenge myself to post at least something every day this month. No promises, but jeez, it's not like I've got that much else to do.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Happy Earth Day!
Grace in Small Things Indeed:1. This afternoon I walked past these gorgeous, colorful tulips and I found them just delightful!
2. I have my afternoons and evenings back!
3. And I also have a paycheck. I like those.
4. Fluffy new socks. (I have a lot of socks old enough to start getting holes in, and so new ones are a wonderful tiny thrill in the morning.)
5. Finishing a knitted project is oh so satisfying.
Now that I have more time and mindspace, I hope to get this silly blog going again. I have things tumbling around my head and there's probably not much of substance, but at the very least I can process some things and keep a record of what's going on.
Happy Earth Day!
Oh, and let's all celebrate the Kennedy Serve America Act that was signed this week, which dramatically increases funding for non-profits and service organizations! Fitting because this is National Service Week.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Blog? What Blog?
Yes, I am alive and yep, quite busy. I've been working at the portrait studio in the evenings and at schools during the days for the last week and a half. Over the weekend, I went to DC for a massive flickr meet up. It was quite fun and there was lots of laughing and inappropriate pictures, and of course, great people.
Here is the peanut butter pie I had in honor of Pi Day, at Old Ebbitt Grill. Oh. My. God. Quite possibly the best pie I've ever had. Next time you're in DC, go try some for yourself. (The regular food is supposed to be pretty great too; after my salad and fries this was essentially my entree :D).
I flopped right down on the ground to get this shot. Apparently people were pointing and staring, but eh, who cares. :)
The weather turned icky later in the afternoon, but it was perfect for this shot, a partner to that other rainy day tree photo.
Apparently a few cherry blossoms were around but I missed them. These were the only flowery bits I caught.
Cliche selected color shot at the Vietnam Memorial.
Today I had a full day off, and lo, it was glorious! I slept for twelve hours, got my eyebrows done (finally!!), walked in the beautiful warm sunshine to the bank and library, and then did laundry. Last night I did my taxes too, which is excellent timing for my languishing bank account.
Here is the peanut butter pie I had in honor of Pi Day, at Old Ebbitt Grill. Oh. My. God. Quite possibly the best pie I've ever had. Next time you're in DC, go try some for yourself. (The regular food is supposed to be pretty great too; after my salad and fries this was essentially my entree :D).
I flopped right down on the ground to get this shot. Apparently people were pointing and staring, but eh, who cares. :)
The weather turned icky later in the afternoon, but it was perfect for this shot, a partner to that other rainy day tree photo.
Apparently a few cherry blossoms were around but I missed them. These were the only flowery bits I caught.
Cliche selected color shot at the Vietnam Memorial.
Today I had a full day off, and lo, it was glorious! I slept for twelve hours, got my eyebrows done (finally!!), walked in the beautiful warm sunshine to the bank and library, and then did laundry. Last night I did my taxes too, which is excellent timing for my languishing bank account.
Going to a new school to sub tomorrow, wish me luck! Hope to have some time soon to visit everyone's blogs. Have a good weekend, everyone!
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
A New Month, A New Dawn
Last week was intense and busy and fun and ill and it kicked my ass only a little.
Tuesday:
morning: job fair queue
afternoon/early evening: drive around for election photo assignment
late evening: election victory party assignment
Wednesday:
morning/early afternoon: train assignment (very cool!)
afternoon: drive to an interview
evening: stay home
Thursday:
morning: field trip (to the Met Egyptian exhibit again) with former colleagues
late afternoon: Adorama to rent lenses (supposed to only be one, but I got greedy and tried out two--the 17-55mm f/2.8 and the 24-70mm f/2.8--both professional-grade and thus very heavy)
evening: Meet second shooter at wedding venue
later evening: rush home by train and drive as fast as possible to Fancy Schmancy Event assignment, featuring governor as keynote speaker
Friday:
morning: head into the city for kids/art assignment
after assignment: drown in Larry Schiller's 1960s photographs
afternoon: drive to a school for feature pool assignment
evening: decide to stay home to eat and rest up
wee sma's: read entire book (a grown up one, even!)
Saturday:
morning: slept away
afternoon: frantically cram wedding photography (which I've been reading/researching for the past month)
late afternoon: arrive at the wedding venue an extra hour early to scope out settings and shot locations
evening: shoot wedding. all plans, panic and preparation completely for naught, as bride and family take everything over, try to tell me what to do, and give me no time, and the place is freaking dark anyway and even my pro lenses are slow at auto-focusing in the low light.
Sunday:
morning: slept away
afternoon. eat. rest.
late afternoon: return lenses to Adorama.
evening: eat. rest.
PHEW, right?
Today is the new dawn mentioned above. I started a job today. It's practically minimum wage, but it's photography related and hey, it's a job. Not sure how it's going to go, but it's something to start.
(Still thinking about subbing though, I think, just for versatility.)
Also, that metrocard thing that I lost in December suddenly turned up on the floor of my car this morning. Sweet!
Speaking of sweet, there are some roundtrip flights to Europe (looking at Brussels and Frankfurt currently) for FOUR HUNDRED DOLLARS total! Unemployment schmunemployment--ignorning that kind of deal is just stupid! Don't be surprised if I buy a ticket that I can't yet afford. And hey, if you are employed for now--GO BUY ONE!
Tuesday:
morning: job fair queue
afternoon/early evening: drive around for election photo assignment
late evening: election victory party assignment
Wednesday:
morning/early afternoon: train assignment (very cool!)
afternoon: drive to an interview
evening: stay home
Thursday:
morning: field trip (to the Met Egyptian exhibit again) with former colleagues
late afternoon: Adorama to rent lenses (supposed to only be one, but I got greedy and tried out two--the 17-55mm f/2.8 and the 24-70mm f/2.8--both professional-grade and thus very heavy)
evening: Meet second shooter at wedding venue
later evening: rush home by train and drive as fast as possible to Fancy Schmancy Event assignment, featuring governor as keynote speaker
Friday:
morning: head into the city for kids/art assignment
after assignment: drown in Larry Schiller's 1960s photographs
afternoon: drive to a school for feature pool assignment
evening: decide to stay home to eat and rest up
wee sma's: read entire book (a grown up one, even!)
Saturday:
morning: slept away
afternoon: frantically cram wedding photography (which I've been reading/researching for the past month)
late afternoon: arrive at the wedding venue an extra hour early to scope out settings and shot locations
evening: shoot wedding. all plans, panic and preparation completely for naught, as bride and family take everything over, try to tell me what to do, and give me no time, and the place is freaking dark anyway and even my pro lenses are slow at auto-focusing in the low light.
Sunday:
morning: slept away
afternoon. eat. rest.
late afternoon: return lenses to Adorama.
evening: eat. rest.
PHEW, right?
Today is the new dawn mentioned above. I started a job today. It's practically minimum wage, but it's photography related and hey, it's a job. Not sure how it's going to go, but it's something to start.
(Still thinking about subbing though, I think, just for versatility.)
Also, that metrocard thing that I lost in December suddenly turned up on the floor of my car this morning. Sweet!
Speaking of sweet, there are some roundtrip flights to Europe (looking at Brussels and Frankfurt currently) for FOUR HUNDRED DOLLARS total! Unemployment schmunemployment--ignorning that kind of deal is just stupid! Don't be surprised if I buy a ticket that I can't yet afford. And hey, if you are employed for now--GO BUY ONE!
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