what i've been up to, professional version

Hi there! Yes, I'm here, but just haven't felt like blogging, though I'm sure there is plenty of material to write about.

It's mid-September somehow, and that means we've been married for six weeks. :)

Also, school started. The weird one-day school week was the same as my very first year teaching, which makes sense, because that was seven years ago now. :) I didn't have a permanent job yet, so I was in the ATR and for that first "week" I helped out in a kindergarten class. For the second week I subbed in a Spanish class in a middle school. And I actually tried to teach them Spanish. Which is funny because a) I don't really speak Spanish and b) hello, eighth graders could give a shit about a substitute, especially in the first couple weeks of the year! (I was placed in First Middle School the third week of school, September 27. My principal there told me a few times how lucky I was not to be at that other school. It was a mess; there were four principals that year!)

Anyway, so I had my first day of school not being a teacher.

I did keep busy that day though; I temped downtown. I've been getting a few assignments here and there in offices and school offices in the last week or two. I'm hoping things keep going, because money is finally coming *in* to my bank account instead of leaking out, out, out. It's really stressful not having a regular, dependable paycheck.

I am really enjoying working in new places and doing my best to help get work done. I like feeling useful, and I like mindlessness of filing and things--it is such a difference from being ON every second of the day so that the small people in the room stay under some modicum of control. :) I don't think I'll love it forever; I'm a reasonably smart person and I do want to do a bigger and better job than just a temp for a day or two. But I understand that will take awhile. It's difficult to stay positive and motivated. I know that there's a lot I am capable of doing, but I also know that I'm not very qualified compared to other people my age who have been in 'regular' nonteaching jobs, or at least that it might be tough for an employer to look past so much teaching and/or understand that I can do a lot besides teaching and because of teaching.

There was a bit of time in late August/early September when I was really trolling job boards and sending out resumes. That trickled to a stop once I started getting a few temp calls. Right now, it's such a relief to have something to do (and I love that it's not every day!) and even more, the money. The novelty will wear off soon as I look into the uncertain future without a reliable income for months. Ag.

Oh! I got a steady part-time job on Saturdays--teaching!

It's kind of a strange thing--I was worried about quitting teaching cold turkey and not being around any kids anymore (I miss my kids from last year!). So now I'm still a teacher, but only for one day a week. Much less stressful than five. :) However, it's definitely more stressful than zero! I was really worried about pacing the time (I'm teaching three sections) and what they were expecting of me and the students. But now we've had two sessions and I'm back in the groove a bit. It still takes a bit of time at home to plan and gather materials, and I need to do a little more from now on probably. There are assistants who grade but they might want an answer key, so I need to go all the way through the work myself to prepare that. Not gonna lie, that part I do not like.

Surprisingly, so far I'm liking my older students more. There are only six though (eleven in the younger group), and they're mostly boys. They all seem pretty nice so far, easy-going and eager to learn and laugh a little. I like that. :) The younger ones are much more lively, though nearly all of them are eager to learn and definitely laugh.

This week we were talking about subject-verb agreement and I was reviewing that if there's an 's' on the subject, there's not usually one on the verb, and vice versa. One kid asked how come, or who made that rule. "The president?" she guessed. I smiled and said no, it's from way, way before presidents. I said I have no idea why that's the way it is and I'm not sure how you could go about finding out. "Google!" cried out three students at once.

These kids nowadays. :)

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I have been doing other things around home, but I'm going to save that for another post or two! Because I do want to get back into the habit of blogging. I rarely have anything super exciting to write about, but I like working things out in words and having a record of life's little things. :)

So I'll see you again very soon!

Employed Wednesday

Today was a pretty decent day. The work was easy, I felt important in my suit, and I met some nice people. Hurrah for money.

Tuesday Schmuesday

I woke up at 10, and got ready like normal, even made hot chocolate. Had a message that the repairs on my car will finally commence. I visited some area schools and left my resume for adding to the sub list. It was kind of a gamble, but I feel good about at least putting myself out there. I just heard from one that said they require a teaching certificate and a lengthy background check thing, so it won't work out. I won't hold out on the other one too much either. Happily, I have just made an interview with Starbucks. That might be fun.

I am really getting worried. I need over a thousand dollars by June, and that's not counting bills for May and June, plus costs to get there, eat and other such costly necessities. Shit, shit, shit. Six weeks to earn all that money, without an actual job? Oh my god, it's so hard not to cry out in frustration and desperation when I think about this situation. Patience, grasshopper, patience.

Holy crap, it's seriously windy outside.

Chemistry

Do you know the element used in atomic clocks?

That's the only question I got right on a Difficult quiz about the elements. (See the end for the correct answer.) Even the easier ones weren't as easy for me as I'd like. I guess it's okay that I've gotten dumber.

The week has been so-so. I haven't really gotten out of my hermit-like funk. Wednesday I went into town and picked up some applications. Thursday I went to a local private high school and got onto their substitute list! I'm already signed up for two days in May. Eeee! That's kind of exciting and nerve-racking...but altogether will be a good thing. After that, I turned in a Starbucks application...apparently hell has frozen over. I suppose I won't hold my breath for a call about it, but man, I need money.

Sometime yesterday my back starting hurting. I skipped the workout last night but went tonight...I think it was a mistake, because it's still burning and aching in my lower back. Owww. It makes me walk funny, like I'm either limping or waddling. Hurts really bad. Booooo.

Blah blah blah.

It's cesium, by the way.

Cosmic Justice?

Scorpio (Oct. 23–Nov. 21)
For the week of April 7-13:
Stage a jailbreak. The astrological soil is just wet enough to allow a spoon-dug tunnel beneath the razor-wire-topped outer walls and attack hounds of your internal prison, but not so moist and muddy that it’ll collapse and bury you utterly. Don’t hesitate, Scorp. True, you’ve been “inside” so long that the outside world may seem really big and scary. You might be worried that you no longer have enough resilience or flexibility to be effective out there. Forget that ludicrousness. If I were you, the only thing that’d concern me is getting out before the guard tower spotlight sweeps by again.

from the Seattle Weekly


Well, I know I have been watching too much television, because last night in a dream, the people from Law & Order: SVU were investigating something with Donald Trump. Who's planning on being glued to the television for three full hours on Thursday? That's right, I am! How's that for an internal prison?

Happily, I did get a break: I was assigned a temp job, at the new Bellevue branch of my old mortgage company. Today was my second day, I will go back tomorrow, and possibly Friday. The work is pretty dull, but money is a pretty motivating factor for me at the moment. And it's miles better than scoring tests on a computer.

My life is boring. And since it was cosmically ordained, I don't have to feel so bad about it. Heh. So now I have reasons to get out of bed in the morning and will have a paycheck to show for it.

Wait just a goddamn minute. Scooby Doo 2 is the number one movie in America? Oh my good lord. There are no words for my disbelief and disgust, etc.

A Day in the Life of an Unemployed Twentysomething

These are the productive things I did today, in order of chronology, not importance:
*slept almost twelve hours.
*took a half-hour walk around the neighborhood
*cruised around online job classifieds and emailed some resumes
*called in a claim to my insurance to take care of the repairs...so I'll only be out the $500 deductible and an increased premium for the next three years (I had an extra discount because of my clean driving record. Dammit.)
*went to both workouts, although I pretty much faked kickboxing.

The rest of the day was lame-o. Not really sure what I did actually, other than those things above. I did get to catch up with Jeopardy (my friend, not the show. duh). Oh, and of course I watched the Apprentice. Omarosa is a pathologically-lying weirdo, Katrina sucks, and I can't decide to root for Kwame or Bill.

Lalala. I am bored and boring. Tralala. BORING!!!

Haha, okay, I admit it, I am an idiot! Stop kicking me, I'm already down! Universe, stop it!

My car will cost over $1500 to fix, so I'm going to have to get the insurance company involved. Is there a statute of limitations to report accidents stemming from acts of God? I really hope not, because otherwise I am screwed even more than I thought.

Didn't get the restaurant gig that I thought was a sure thing. So yeah, I gave up two weeks of good pay because I was too confident. Just goes to show what happens when you get cocky with your hooks and ponds. No more philosophical rambling about destiny and things always working out. I have a tiny hope that I may still be able to get the two-week gig, or the new temp agency I signed up with might find something.

See, it's not that I'm hurting for money, per se, at least for now. I have two paychecks (albeit small ones) coming from the stupid "job," and that will cover my bills and such for the next month or so. My worry is the saving of money. Having no income and living in New York City scares me to pieces. I feel like time is running out, if I'm to leave in the beginning of June or even late May. (See, if I decide to not do the teaching thing, I still would like to go out east and work at TrailBlazers for the summer.) I have less than two months to get/earn/save as much money as possible. The 2nd job, though a fabulous idea in theory, is pretty unappealing and I think I will abandon it for now. I don't like being deceitful to (potential) employers; it's not lying if I never say that I will stay there for a certain period of time, but it's not telling the whole truth. Y'all know I'm too much of an honest weirdo to be comfortable with that.

It doesn't help that I am in a strange limbo frame of mind. I don't think it qualifies as depressed, or even bored to tears yet. As much as I'm enjoying the freedom of not having to get up and go to a job everyday, it is boring and I am awfully unproductive.

Chance is always powerful. Let your hook be always cast; in the pool where you least expect it, there will be a fish. -- Ovid (taken from Random Acts of Journaling)

In reading other people's blogs, mine suddenly feels awfully cold and listlike. Like a glorified dayplanner rather than a Journal. See, I get all shy about letting that stuff out in the "open," even though I know there's no one really out there. You know? So from hereon I pledge to write more introspectively.

Well, anyway, I came across that quotation and it is a perfect summation for my outlook on life. Well, one of them, anyhow. Even though I freak out about everything, overanalyze things and have too many breakdowns, I have to think that there is a reason for everything that happens. My life, and I presume other people's, is what it is because of a series of chance-like events. I took a huge leap by quitting my job, and things have really worked out amazingly so far. They always do; something will always come along. There are always fish.

One of the tools that AmeriCorps gave us was lots of opportunity to think about "Life After AmeriCorps." There was a booklet called "Next Steps" which detailed resume information and exercises to refine what skills you had and what skills you wanted to use, what kind of work you were looking for, and ways to start accomplishing those. It was fascinating and difficult. Here is what I wrote about "Values, Skills, Interests and Personal Considerations," regarding my ideal job, back in the latter half of 2002. There was a more specific prompt, something along the lines of, what kind of job do you want? what skills will you bring to the job? what are the requirements for the kind of job you want?

"I want a job where I can make a difference, where I can work in a variety of projects, both alone and cooperatively, where I can travel and meet new people, where I can be a leader and speak to audiences about exciting (to me) topics.
"I will bring to this job flexibility, an authentic and responsible manner, organization, trustworthiness and dedication; creativity, leadership/educating skills, and editing skills; a passion for public speaking, travel, and cultural appreciation.
"I love being able to speak in front of audiences, travel to new places and meet people. I am an Enterprising Social Holland type, one who likes to lead and work with people.
"I would love to relocate to a new community (but it's not a requirement), earn at least $23,000, and have adequate medical/dental/vision coverage."

Now, here is the list I made of qualities I wanted in a job for the immediate future, rather than the idealistic stuff above. I (grossly exaggerated) calculated that I would have $1800 in expenses per month, and so would need a salary of around $24,000. Ah, to be young and silly.

"Sustainable income--to support housing, food, car, entertainment
Don't need much professional experience
Can accommodate school
Fulfilling
Not boring"

Quite the opposite set of criteria, eh? Two years ago, I knew that I had lofty goals but was willing to forgo them for the time being, just to get on my feet. I pretty much accomplished that one, and now I will pursue my real life goals. It's pretty amazing that the teaching fellowship and the team leadership both fit well into that goal statement (and will pay better!). That I've stuck to my guns, so to speak, and, in essence, followed a dream. I hope it's a good idea.

Cake does a body good, y'all. It would do you good to remember that.

So I'm here. The moving is done, but I need to still unpack boxes here and clean there.

On the job front: I've had a couple interviews at a restaurant in Southcenter, the final one is tomorrow. The temp agency found me a two week assignment, but I chose to forgo it for the restaurant training (my rationale was that lower pay for a longer period of time was better than higher pay for two weeks. I hope I did the right thing.). I just signed up with a second agency and will talk to them tomorrow. My poorly-aligned car will be looked at tomorrow, too. My hope for the future is to find temp jobs and work at the restaurant on evenings and weekends. Money, money, money!

Guess what. Tomorrow will be my last day at that stupid "job." I decided that one full week was far too much for me as it is, and I shan't put up with it anymore. So there. Strangely, it's gotten better...I just have devised ways to keep myself occupied. I play with my hair or braid it, doodle in my Care Bears notebook, practice writing with the wrong hand (print and cursive), go over the times tables (I spent a good part of yesterday afternoon putting those together--all the way to 20!), write notes of things to do, future plans, etc, or stretch. It's pretty silly, if you think about it. I still am "meeting the numbers," and my accuracy levels are up. But geez, what a stupid job. Seriously, filing all day, raking all day, ANYthing is better and more interesting than this. Ugh.

By the way, here are the variations of spellings of the word "tardy" that I have read so far: tardie (that's the most popular one, even more than 'tardy'; I almost forget that it's wrong), trady, trade, tarded, tartie, tarty (that one makes me giggle), tarte, tradie, tard, tardi. Don't get me started on the misspellings of words like "silent" and "detention" etc. Please, friends, teach your children to spell properly. I beg you!

This weekend (oh god, why wasn't today Friday?), I shall move. Saturday will hopefully be the bulk of it. Sunday I will clean and organize. Monday I shall go look for work! I'll start with the restaurants. Sigh, what a chore. I will sound like a brat here, but I don't WANNA get a second job! I don't WANNA go back to the food service industry! Don't wanna, don't wanna! WAAH!

Ahem. I'll return to my 'grown-up' voice now.

Sunday was a good day. I spent the afternoon volunteering at Operation Sack Lunch as the first project of the new team with SeattleWorks. Met some great people and had a lot of fun. A mellow evening was then spent with friends.

Part of today was great--it was absolutely gorgeous and hot outside today. It felt like we were on the East Coast. Mm.

The rest of the day, not so great. Was awfully sleepy when the stupid alarm went off. Then, in the car, I called AmeriCorps, wherein I was informed that I wouldn't hear a decision until after May 15. So, on with Plan B; ie, continuing with the teaching program. New York, here I come! Good lord.

"Work" was incredibly boring. I braided my hair to distract myself all morning, and then in the afternoon doodled on notepaper (while "reading" the essays). Came home to the enrollment information from NYTF. Realized just how far behind I am already, financially I mean, and how royally screwed I am now and will continue to be if A)I go to New York, and B) can't get a decent temp job and/or second job until then. So I had a breakdown, right in time for the workout tonight. Because I want out of that "job" I'm doing now. Even going back to my old job, or any job, at the mortgage company would be better than this. It SUCKS. And I'm coming to hate seventh-graders. Even more than I already did, based on my own (mildly life-scarring) experiences. I am honestly becoming desperate for money, though, so I'm kind of stuck for now. Shit.

Oy.
Yesterday was supremely boring. All afternoon, hunched at a computer with no music or distractions, which means I was very distractED. It will be interesting to see how long I will be able to put up with this "job."

Also yesterday, I found out that I was accepted to the NY Teaching Fellowship. I was ACCEPTED! To teach. In New York. Oh my god!! I was completely and utterly flabbergasted; there's no way I expected to get it. Holy cow. If I do this, it's in JUNE. That's two teeny weeny months from now.

I only say "if" because of my pending AmeriCorps application. If I get the NCCC job, then I (am pretty sure that I) will go with that over the teaching. Either would be a huge change and an incredible challenge. Both are unreal. Things like this don't happen to me! I appear to be on the verge of realizing my dreams! Or at least finding a real direction to focus on.

Today I got a bunch of stuff moved out; the apartment is half empty. The couch, table and rocking chair, the bookcase, most of the books, most of the crap in the closet--all gone to be stored in the barn. A box of clothes to be donated, one and a half boxes of books sold. Next Saturday I will complete the move. Wish me luck.

Today was pretty good. Oh, by the way, the big traffic on 167 goes the other way than I do. Woo!
Anyway, so I aced the qualifying scoring tests so far, and in the very long downtime, I did some sketches and writing. Good times. Plus, they let us out at 4 instead of 5. I stopped by my old workplace because Stacey said there were more boxes to be had. I got stopped while I was there, and chatted with a bunch of former colleagues. It was nice to see them again, but weird to be in the office again.

Since I didn't work out on Monday or Tuesday, I did the double workout again tonight. It went very well, considering. I was still all red and worn out, but not nearly to the degree that I was last week. Hurrah!

And now it's almost the weekend. It's been an easy week for me, but who doesn't love a Friday?

So Monday was fun. Spent the afternoon playing games and watching tv with friends. Tuesday evening went to a new TeamWorks meeting (at Seattle Works), and then on the spur of the moment called up Dez and we had a nice dinner in Fremont.
Today was the first day of training for this test job. Parts were really boring and I got pretty antsy, doodling like my life depended on it. We'll see how the next two days go.
This evening I saw my brother's band concert and then got some packing done! Half my bookcase into boxes--six of them. I've got a big pile of boxes to go into "storage" in the barn, and this weekend will get them moved over there, along with the furniture. Hm, wonder if I should empty out the dresser as well? Ah, I hate moving.

Yo.

My trip to the temp agency went fairly well...I kicked ass on the typing and data entry tests. 66wpm with no errors, and only two errors on the numeric/alphanumerics. Woo, me!

Today I went for an interview, from a thing I found in the paper, and it was one of those things that as you're "interviewing," the person is telling you where to go for training. Not offering a position, but just saying, okay, show up. Those kind of bewilder me, it's never actually said, "here, take the job," because what if I didn't want it? Or was just killing time? Anyway, so I guess I have a job now. It starts next week and only goes for six weeks. It's for a test-scoring center by the SuperMall. Surprisingly, it took only twenty minutes or so to get there from my house, albeit with no serious traffic to speak of. The shift starts at 8 and ends at 4.30, so I may begin griping and whining about traffic all of a sudden.
See? Something always does come along. Phew. Here's to hoping that I can catch up on all my nasty bills.

I went for a walk around my "neighborhood" this afternoon. It was very pleasant, blue-ish skies and crisp but not quite chilly. Now I shall watch a movie and then read or something. Tomorrow I will finish my taxes and file them, and pray that the refund arrives quickly. Look at me being all productive in my days of unemployment.

I am now officially unemployed! Hurrah!

So my last day was pretty much like the rest of this week. Except my old team got me a cake and a card that screams and some little gifts, and in our Friday general meeting they called me up to accept another card. It was very sweet. Everyone wished me luck and all that other good stuff. I will miss the office folk, they are nice people and fun.

Well. It's the weekend. I need to prepare for my interview and my trip. I've got a list of errands and other tasks for the next two days: pack, do laundry, go to the post office to mail my other application and transcript requests, clean my nasty moldy bathroom, pick up my room, take some naps, watch my Netflix movies, and that's all I can think of right now.

I went bowling last night and it went pretty well. When I went a few weeks ago, my scores were 45, 54, 65 and 84, or something. Pretty pathetic. Last night I scored 98 (my second highest score ever! after 104), 58 and 78. Not bad, for me.

We just watched the tape of The Apprentice from yesterday. Thank god Omarosa's gone! Altogether it's looking like all the women are going to get eliminated, because most of them are at least partly psycho. I hope the Donald isn't actually sexist, though it honestly would not surprise me.

Happy Friday, all!

Two days left.

Today was a short work day for me, because I went to the doctor for a complete physical this morning. That's not an activity I would classify as "fun," but it really wasn't too bad. Although they tell you to fast for the morning, and then they draw blood. Does that seem silly to anyone else? Wouldn't everyone pass out or at least feel pretty damn woozy? Anyway.

The rest of my work day felt like, 'let's find something to do, lalala....' Not like there weren't tons of things to do, but to be at the point where I'm rooting around for a task, it feels kind of pathetic. I guess I was getting used to being beyond busy. I feel like a temp again. A knowledgeable temp who knows what to do, but still, a temp. I have become invisible; I'm being phased out while I'm still there. It's a little depressing.