Mollusks don't oscillate

I've been trying to be a better podcast listener. I can't be a twenty-something New Yorker (ack) without listening to NPR and shit.


Three years ago, I was driving along the dull Midwestern stretch of I-70. I was bored with my CDs (remember Discmen? good times) and mixtapes (better times), so I fiddled with the radio. Tolerated a few minutes of country music. Flipped right past Christian stuff. The only other thing on was some kind of talk show. Something about America. Except just one person talking, and there was music. The speaker kept pausing and I kept thinking the story was over. Except, of course, it wasn't. I think the story was something about the woman's father getting old, or the parents were splitting up, or something along those lines. Eventually it ended and presumably I found something else to help pass the corn-field time.


Months and months later, I told my new boyfriend about it. He said, "Yeah, that's This American Life. It's a podcast and it's really good, you should listen to it." I rolled my eyes. These kids and their iPods and their fancy podcasts. Blah blah blah.


Fast forward a year or so and I got my very own (free, hand-me-down) iPod. It totally changed my life. But I still refused to investigate podcasts. Too complicated or something? No real reason.


Another year or so further on, when I got my bigger, newer, much shinier iPod, with so much empty space, I finally broke down and looked at the whole podcast thing. I subscribed to This American Life, but rarely listened to it, since I almost always prefer music (especially while reading on the subway, when I can't hear a damn thing on a podcast anyway).


The last few weeks I've been driving to school training, each trip lasting between 30-45 minutes. I used the time to start catching up on the last six months' worth of This American Life. I made the unfortunate mistake of listening to The Audacity of Government on the way to school one day, boiling my blood before going in to Save The Children at training. I loathe this administration and everything it stands for. But that's another post, one I don't need to write. Ahem. Shows from this podcast have made me laugh, cry, rage, and think. (The title refers to a great speech by Malcolm Gladwell taken from The Moth, on a show from the spring that I just heard recently.) I've whittled the list of shows down to 'just' eight one-hour episodes.


And so, anticipating way too much time on my hands and despair at no more podcasts, last week I finally took the BF's advice and also subscribed to Radio Lab, The Moth, and Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. I downloaded six or seven of their most recent shows and have been slowly learning new formats and enjoying new things to think and laugh about. The first Radio Lab I listened to was about self and the soul, and it was completely fascinating. Mirrors, monkeys, neurons--good stuff. The first Wait, Wait was a best-of compilation featuring Dave Barry, Craig Ferguson, and a couple others I don't remember. Very funny indeed. Surprisingly, I didn't even mind looking like a total lunatic, standing alone and giggling at nothing in public. I have no shame, but I do have lots of time to kill.

hey there

Been at school for a third week of preparing to begin the year. Only a few days until students arrive. Ye gods, help me be strong. Help me get some work done for both of my subjects. I've got about two weeks for one subject, and only vagueness for the other. Oy, the anxiety.

Speaking of anxiety, moving sucks. I know. You're welcome for the news flash. I moved in to this lovely studio nearly 2 1/2 years ago with zero furniture and was a total basketcase. Now I've got like fifteen times as much stuff, and I've got to move IN A WEEK (gotta love the New York Asshole Landlord). Shit.

I've got some things packed. Books, coats, fancy dresses, linens. Eight boxes are filled, waiting for the rest of their kin to join their friendly pile in the corner. Not to mention the things that can't be packed that still have to move--bed, desk, tv, shelf, microwave cart. There's no plausible way I can move it myself or even with BF's help. (Possible, sure. With infinite time, strength, and patience. Plausible? The weekend before school really starts? Pshaw. Don't make me laugh. I might hurt you with hysterical flailing.) So I have to hire movers, which will cost hundreds and hundreds of dollars. Worth it, yes. I can actually afford it at the moment, which is a small miracle. But still, how will I get everything ready in time? How will I manage to fork over that scary number of dollars?

Speaking of moving, I've got TEN BOXES of school crap going back to my school. Which I will have to get from my car on the street, into the school, up five looooong flights of stairs. Ugh.

I wish I was funnier, more interesting, more personable for anyone who might hazard a read now and then. Sorry. Here's a very funny link that you teachers out there will probably adore way too much. Thanks to N for the link that I stole. Oh, and here are some incredible Olympics photos.

it had been too long

since I last took pictures lying in the sunshiney grass

Like, totally.

So yesterday I did something I promised I would never, ever do.

Sigh.

I joined Facebook.

Then I proceeded to spend several hours on it. First I gawked at all the members of my graduating class, shocked at the number of babies on people's profile pics. I know it's been eleven years, but jeez. Naturally, my next serious task was finding a profile photo to look good and impressive and not stupid. I wouldn't want those people I don't know anymore to think I'm a loser from a thumbnail! Considering that I have over one thousand self-portraits on my flickr page and thousands more on my hard drive, I have very few where you can clearly see my face and where I look normal and/or sane.

Then I stalked random people from my past, people that I'm not in contact anymore. (I didn't add them.) I found some fun people that I knew fifteen years ago or more and added them. People from blogs, flickr friends, old friends added.

I hardly even know how the thing works. I feel silly and old. And also a little lame, because it could clearly become another obsession, and together with flickr, how on earth will I ever do anything productive? :)

And of course I want to collect more people. Email me your info--let's be friends!

Things I Love

1. These guys. Drool.

2. Jezebel, now, obviously.

3. When a song comes on my iPod with a strong sassy beat that matches my walking tempo, and I can strut along to it. Recently it was The Way You Make Me Feel by Michael Jackson. I once actually made a mix CD of songs like this. Good times.

4. Receiving basic supplies from my school instead of buying them. SWEET!!!

5. The thought of having a textbook (hello lesson plans, activities, and materials!) and explicit curriculum for one of the subjects I'm teaching. DOUBLE SWEET!

6. My blue walls. I shall miss them. :(

7. Overseas traveling. It's been too long. With the higher salary, and once I'm more sane, I can actually afford to break out the old passport again!

Crybaby

Well, apparently things really are stressing me out--yesterday I teared up during training at the sheer overwhelmingness of it all. I think deep down I am really not sure if I can do this--or at least do this well. That I shouldn't be teaching at all. Add that to a week and a half of sitting and stewing, not knowing much for sure about exactly what the coming year will actually entail--that's a good making for some stress hormones.

Also, I am so tired. More so every day. I've been going to bed at 10.15-10.30 and it's just not enough.

And more also, my knees suck. Patellar tendonitis and bursitis on both sides. Fun times!

You really can't blame me for a few tears now, can you?

Week Two Begins!

When I finally got home on Friday night, I felt a huge sense of exhausted relief--ooh, it's over! time to relax, it's done!

Then I remembered, nope, summer vacation is all over, it's work work work for the next ten months.

I quite literally spent all day Saturday in bed, resting my knees while watching the Olympics, and taking two naps. While I freely admit I am a lazy git, even that was extreme for me. But I didn't care one whit. I'd hardly slept that week, my knees weren't working properly--clearly, I needed the rest. And it felt fabulous. I'm going to have to take relaxation time seriously from now on--with the increased pressure and workload at the new job, I shall become an aggressive rester! Ha!

This morning, while I wasn't happy to be up at 6.30 once again, went smoothly. There was no traffic, I found the school easily, and it hardly took any time at all. I felt awake and alert all day (which was most certainly not the case last week!), and the training itself was useful and interesting. We got some concrete tools and tips to stay organized and keep priorities in clear view. I definitely struggle with the self-discipline to complete tasks in a timely manner. That will be one of my goals this year--really focusing on keeping on top of administrative things like making phone calls and planning on a regular and rigorous schedule.

We've been getting introduced to the electronic aids over the last week. Talk about overwhelming--so much stuff! Different programs and tools to use for all kinds of things. Coming from a system where ALL of these things have been done by hand--by ME--it's a wonderment, it's a relief. I really think it will make my responsibilities faster and more efficient to complete, which should give me more time to concentrate on actually, you know, teaching. (Remember, for you civilians out there, teaching is the last thing on a teacher's to-do list!)

Most excitingly, we're finally getting into some specifics this week. Truly, it's a relief to get some answers and most importantly, to know we're getting solid support. That is such a huge deal to me, I'm really looking forward to having a true collaborative team and leader. To know that I'm not alone in feeling overwhelmed, to know that I don't have to create lessons and units in isolation, to know that, holy shit!, I will have materials at my disposal!, to know that other people will actively help me improve my teaching and my self-discipline.

I made a note this week to Stay Positive

Therefore, I shall not complain about the following:

--My sensitive nose equates perfume with headache.

--Smoke (whether fresh or stale on a person) also equals instant headache.

--There were too many bad smells this week, which meant I spent much of it with an unhappy head.

--I probably didn't eat enough real food this week. :(

--A lot of the training sessions devolved into competitions and bragging.

--I'm still anxious and overwhelmed about being unprepared for the school year, despite these weeks of training.

--My knees have completely rebelled on me. For the last two days, they've been swollen, achy and weak. Standing and walking are not happy times here. (Very slight improvement since yesterday, though).


(Hi, this is the BF hijacking this blog post. J is awesome and shouldn't complain about anything except the fact that everyone else is so much less awesome by comparison.)

I'm leaving that in because it is just too cute. I'm a lucky one. :)

I started this post in my head last week but only began the post this morning. Now that it's almost evening, I actually have some positive things to add!! Yay!

--It is fun watching the Olympics! Yesterday I found myself sucked into the women's indoor volleyball game. It was so action-packed and the teams were so high-energy--they hugged and high-fived after every point. Later the beach volleyball came on and what a contrast--only two people on the court, wearing bikinis! I realized that they must have to wear pretty tight suits to make sure everything stays in place. Skidding around in sand, and no knee pads--those chickies are tough! I watched the swimming yesterday too, and this morning. V. excited to go watch the gymnastics that was on last night, too.

--OMG, WE FOUND AN APARTMENT TODAY! More specifically, we GOT an apartment today (we'd found several good ones in the last couple months but hadn't actually gotten one). I'd been really stressed about it, with the timing and location stuff. This place is a nice size, on a quiet block, near my new school and several trains. So as of September first, we will be a Brooklyn couple! Exciting!

Fail.

This evening I realized anew that I am quite simply the stupidest person I know.

Moments of triumph are fleeting, but this, like all my embarrassments, will surely become etched crystal-clearly in my mind.



EDIT:

I apologize for the overdramatics; I've been reading Dorothy Parker and her elegant style crept up on me (er, an attempt at such; I am clearly none so articulate).

More specifically, a journey last night turned into another Herculean Task (I think this makes five or six since I've been in New York; the first was the day I actually moved here), when it should have been simple and straightforward. It was completely my fault for moronically not reading OR thinking, several times in a row. This is only the most recent example of this phenomenon, too. I need to get it together.

This week of education training did indeed make me feel lonely, inadequate and a failure, but that's not really anything new and that wasn't what this referenced.

Thank you for the very kind words, friends, and I apologize again for my tendency toward hyperbole. Carry on.

Overwhelmed

Now through three days of training, and holy CRAP is my brain full.

This year is gonna be a LOT of work.

This school, this group, is pretty impressive--they are working hard to impact thousands of kids. They have had a lot of success, but they don't think they're done. When there's a setback, they reflect and make changes--they don't believe that they're the end-all, be-all to education. They are more than happy to look at and borrow best practices from other people and other schools.
I may be too far in the bubble, but I've been surprised at how little eduspeak we've been hearing, too. For some reason, the word I've been hearing a lot is caveat. Like, eight times a day. Weird.

Anyway, so the expectations and standards are very high. The thing is, they seem to want to help us all achieve them--there is lots of time and effort and resources for professional development, and the admin/founders want to push the teachers to get better, to get clearer, to ensure the kids are actually learning what they're supposed to.

It's been long days, lots of sitting and lots of PowerPoint. There are a ton of young teachers here, I'm definitely one of the older folks around! Varying levels of experience, but generally three or fewer years. Yet I feel like I'm the only one overwhelmed. Maybe I'm just thinking too hard? I'm getting impatient for the specifics, which is the hardest part to deal with, to just shut up and get through it. We've got three or four more weeks, and there is A LOT--no, really, A LOT--that will need to get done. Way more work than I've ever done before. I hope that I have a knowledgeable team behind me and along with me.

I can't really be very specific here, and I'm also just really tired, so I suppose that's it for now. Two more days this week, and I will try to push myself to be more positive (I actually wrote that on my notes this afternoon) and also to be more social. That's one of the hardest parts of this whole thing. I'm such a boring old lady. :)

Some pretty nature pictures to usher you into the weekend :)

This is my last weekend before I become a teacher again.

Also, holy crap! How is it August already?!

Ready to Tear My Hair Out

Yeah, that didn't take long after my unabashed joy and excitement, did it?

Here's why I'm at my wits' end:

Fucking JACKHAMMERING at 4.40AM and then again at 9AM. I just couldn't sleep through the night. By morning, my legs and my head felt like glass bubbles ready to shatter at the slightest movement.

There's been construction going on in the apartment next door, and most of it seems to involve BANGING on the opposite side of my main wall. It's been weeks now. It's driving me bananas, because there's nothing I can do. I'm home during the day for only several weeks a year, and this is what I get?

Finally, of course, what frustration *doesn't* stem from interaction with The Bureaucracy? I've now spent probably a couple hours calling all kinds of offices, either on hold or being told that I have to call someone else. Nobody has any answers for me. And jeez, I don't know anything yet about this new job, I haven't started yet! So I can't answer the questions they ask me. So I'm kind of at a loss. The most recent development is calling a specific person at a service center who won't be in until 1pm, or maybe not at all. Argh! However, I am happy to report that a certification specialist just called me back and DID have definitive answers, so there's one person who's knowledgeable in the system, thank god!

Check the timestamp on this post.

It is 4.51 IN THE MORNING right now.

I was awakened within the last ten minutes by a loud noise.

First I thought it was my window fan, stuttering with some stray object sucked to the back.

Nope.

Then I thought it was one of those mothereffing motorcycles, idling at the stoplight. (Those people deserve a special circle in hell, if you ask me.)

It went on longer than a stoplight cycle, so I got up once again.

You will not believe this.

It's a JACKHAMMER.

In the middle of the intersection.

A JACKHAMMER AT 4.40 IN THE MORNING.

Take a second to process it.

Then, be thankful you're not here and are actually sleeping peacefully through the predawn hours, as man was meant to.

You bet your ass I called 311 to register a complaint. Guess what, there was one already filed in the system! I must have fast neighbors.

Also, this is the first and only time that I've heard shouted protests coming from apartment windows like you see in the movies: "You guys can't be doing this this early!""Shut the fuck up!"

Welcome to the Big Apple, the City That Never Sleeps Because Some ASSHOLE is JACKHAMMERING in the Middle of the Night.

Finally, the update! (cross-posted)

Hehe, patience, y'all, I wanted to get all the Maine stuff up first! :)

So as you know, I've been teaching one subject in one grade in one borough (some of you probably, hopefully, know more details than that. But I'm trying to stay mildly anonymous :D). This new job is a charter school in another borough (nearby, starts with B), teaching a different (sort-of related) subject, in one grade higher. This hasn't been taught at this school before, as it's still growing. So there's no existing curriculum and I've never taught it before, and it needs to cover A LOT of information about a couple hundred years of the country. I have zero idea about the logistics of the curriculum--I'm crossing my fingers they have bought or will be buying a textbook. But I have no idea, and it's KILLING me not to know yet. So that part of it defintely makes me a little anxious and apprehensive, but I'm looking forward to the new challenge, and proving to myself that I can work hard, persevere, learn new things, etc etc.

What I do know and love is that the school has adequate facilities, and it has excellent resources. The teachers' room has a free copy machine (at my previous school, teachers had to buy a copy code [cheaply, but still] AND provide paper) and shelves of books, just sitting there (not stashed away in a secret room in a secret stairwell, covered in asbestos dust). Plenty of money for classroom books and supplies. Plenty of schoolwide expectations and reinforcement systems. A longer school day and a longer school year (several mandatory weeks in summer for students and teachers), but also a 10k raise.

The training starts next week! I am eager to meet other teachers, get to know more details about the school, hopefully learn a bit about the curriculum, and get fired up.

Since it's a new borough, this necessitates moving! I am very sad to leave my cute apartment in my quiet and cute neighborhood. But the BF and I are planning to move in together to a new place. So that's exciting (although the apartment hunting is a pain and the moving is going to SUCK ASS).

I now have to figure out how to resign--the bureaucracy of this profession in this particular city is mind-boggling. I called two numbers today and apparently have to go into some office in person to physically resign. I'm going to attempt this tomorrow, wish me luck.

This whole development makes me feel vindicated about not going to China (because I would have been there at the time all this happened) and VERY glad for turning down the other offer. I wanted new things, and this year promises that pretty much every single thing in my life will indeed be different, with just the kind of things I was hoping for. Wow!

A Foggy Day

The Bass Harbor Lighthouse, at the southern side of Mount Desert Island:

On the Ship Harbor trail nearby:

Jordan Pond:

Salt Marsh:

The crashing waves, on the rocks along Ship Harbor trail in Bass Harbor. I love this, and I'm pretty sure you will too.

peace be with you

Frenchman Bay, Bar Harbor, Maine.

Thoughts and tidbits

We drove north up New England to get to Maine. It did actually take a total of 8.5 hours total, each way, as promised by the online directions.

When I'm on my own on a roadtrip, I'll just keep driving. Out of stubbornness and also, somehow, laziness. Through stiff backs and numb bums, I'll stay parked in that driver's seat, gritting my teeth to arrive at my destination that much sooner.

This roadtrip was a little different. Thank goodness. The BF hasn't been a regular driver for years, but agreed to take on a share of the driving. So this trip, on all the legs, we stopped every two hours to stretch. It made such a difference--the breaks from the car, and the breaks from driving. Because I'm old, my bum knee starts to stiffen up pretty quickly when stuck behind the wheel.

Also, it continues to fascinate and delight me that I can use the bathroom every two hours! Those of you who have never been a teacher might be grossed out by it, but I still find it so liberating to remember that I can pee whenever I want to, during the summer!

On the way up, we stopped overnight in Portland, where I had arranged a stay with someone from couchsurfing. I steered us toward the waterfront, assuming there would be something interesting there. Indeed there was plenty. Full of wharves and piers, and what clearly were the original seafood warehouses now transformed into hip shops and restaurants. Most pleasant!

When we went kayaking, I couldn't bear the thought of leaving all photographic equipment behind. No way could I leave the experience and scenery undocumented! Additionally, of course, no way would I ever EVER even dream of bringing a DSLR onto a tiny plastic watercraft. So here was my ingenious and free plan, since I don't have hundreds of dollars to buy waterproof housing. I brought my Sony (the bridge point and shoot that I only bought in May 2007) and tied it into a plastic grocery bag. That protected it from the splashes while paddling, and then I could take breaks, untie the knots, tuck the bag into my lifejacket, and take photos and videos. I was quite pleased with the results, too. Which is good, because when the guide mentioned what to do in case of capsize, I was envisioning myself fumbling around underwater, frantically trying to escape the splash skirt's hold on the boat while freaking out about the camera, probably forgetting to breathe. Yikes. But of course, nobody on our tour even so much as tilted too far, let alone capsized. Phew!

I definitely noticed differences between people and habits in Maine versus New York City. For one, not once did I see high heels and designer clothing. Now, to be sure, it's the high tourist season, and I'm sure 'those people' do still exist, even up north. But everyone I saw was in casual wear--tshirts, fleeces, shorts, sandals or hiking shoes. It was all so wonderfully laidback.

Even the driving was laidback! Nobody honked, nobody cut me off, nobody blocked me from entering a lane. There were a couple times that I was expecting those things to happen, and immediately another driver let me right in. That does NOT happen driving around these parts. To be fair to my own bad traits, I got plenty annoyed at people driving too slowly on the park roads where it was impossible to pass. Like the woman driving a huge truck with four kids in the truckbed, inching down Cadillac Mountain. I couldn't help be on her tail the whole time, cursing at the rudeness and stupidity, not to mention illegality. I never said I was perfect. :)

I grew up in the Northwest. For years I lived in a house bordered on wild evergreen forest, with views of majestic mountains and foothills. The green seeps in from all sides--pine trees, ferns, moss, leaves--it's always there. Being in deciduous New England depresses me--the world turns brown for months, not to mention always being fairly flat. I don't often think about it; I suppose I get used to it, as you do. Until I go somewhere where I remember what the world should be like. Maine is indeed very similar to the Northwest--evergreen trees, craggy cliffs and mountains (albeit much smaller than on the West Coast), ferns and mosses, and of course, the ocean pounding away on the shore.

Being surrounded by all that green was like being home again, to the soul. I didn't take enough time to really sit and be present in it, and it's cheesy as all get out, but really, it felt healing.

Speaking of healing and peace, here's a video of our kayaking (note, of course, that I'm not paddling while filming, so thanks again to the BF for being patient and strong!:D). Turn up the sound for this one, so you can hear the quiet.

Otter Cliff, Acadia National Park

See why we wouldn't want to leave? :)

Gorgeous Maine!

We had an incredible time this week! It was definitely too short--there is so much to do on Mount Desert Island.

We kayaked our first night in Bar Harbor, which was wonderful. It was so quiet and peaceful out on the water, just the sloshing of waves, ringing of the buoys, calling of the gulls. I wished we could have stayed out there longer (although I was mighty sore the next day, so maybe 2 hours was plenty for my first time!). I can't wait to go again.

We battled the clouds all week--impeccable weather on the days we were traveling, but only one of the days we were in Acadia. It was just stunning! There were trees, mountains/hills, and water everywhere. Oh, how I've missed it, living in a city. I reveled in being closer to nature for this week.

The sounds of crashing waves could possibly heal the world. If ever you feel overwhelmed, just sit by the sea and listen.

OMG!

Dudes!

I GOT A JOB TODAY!!!

It all happened really fast--within the last like five days. I am totally thrilled.

WHEE!!

And now we're off on a vacation--a road trip to Maine for a week! Stay tuned for photos and anecdotes!

I love to read!

I love books. Reading them, collecting them, listing them, the smell of them. I love nothing more than getting absorbed into an excellent book for an entire day, or staying up way past my bedtime because I just can't put it down.

This summer I've done a fair amount of reading. Last week or thereabouts I tore through three books in four days. I've been meaning to write a little bit about some quality YA books I've read recently. Since I've been busy and lazy to do that, here's a fun meme that I got from Happily Ever After.

"The Big Read reckons that the average adult has only read 6 of the top 100 books they've printed."
1) Bold those you have read.
2) Italicize those you intend to read.
3) Underline the books you LOVE (I'll use asterisks)
4) Reprint this list in your own blog.

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen--Read it only once. I should read it again to appreciate it more.
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien--will never read it.
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 **Harry Potter series - JK Rowling **--I LOVE these. Especially the later books. So much more than 'just a kid's book'.' Sigh.
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6 The Bible--I wouldn't mind reading it in a historical analysis course, but not as a religious thing.
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell--Utterly fascinating! Although I think I didn't actually finish it. I have a copy of it, somewhere.
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott--I think I read like a third of it in middle school.
12 Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy--Do real people still actually read this book? This is one that I've only heard of in books, where characters are forced to or supposed to read it.
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller--Been on my list for at least five years. Have a copy somewhere.
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare--Pshaw. Yeah right.
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien--Another never. Sorry.
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger--Totally didn't get it.
19 The Time Traveller's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot--I bought it, read like fifty pages, and then lost it at an airport. I don't think I would have finished it anyway.
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell--Won't read this one either. I saw the movie one time in college, and it wasn't my kind of thing.
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy--No freaking way.
25 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams--I'm so dumb because somewhere, I have the book with all five novels, but never read it.
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck--Henry Ford was really hot in the movie version. :)
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll--Eh, probably another never.
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis--Doubtful.
34 Emma - Jane Austen--I should read this. I've liked all the movies based on this.
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini--Did not love it.
38 Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres--Maybe someday; I heard it's really good.
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden--Meh. Interesting historically, but overflowery descriptions got on my nerves.
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez--Also been on my list for years.
44 **A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving** I. Love. This. Book. So. Much.
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins--I've heard it's an excellent creepy ghost story, so I don't know if I could handle it.
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery--This series was the staple of my childhood.
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood--I love her stuff.
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding--Read it in high school. Really fascinating.
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel--Couldn't get past the first forty pages.
52 Dune - Frank Herbert--Never.
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens--Is it wrong that I always get this one mixed up with Down and Out in Paris and London by George Orwell, which I have read?
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley--Freaking awesome.
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez--Heard it's good.
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck--Coudn't get past the first chapter. The dialogue style gave me a headache.
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov: On the list. Or is that Reading Lolita in Tehran?
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt--Also has been on my list for years, but eh.
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold--Creepy.
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy--I only know about this book because the main character in Ordinary People--my all-time favorite book--had to read it. Another one that I've never heard of anyone in real life/modern time reading.
68 Bridget Jones's Diary - Helen Fielding--Bloody brilliant. Many overlook this because it's so ubiquitous, but she basically started a new genre. And the book is good! Deeper than one might think, as most quality 'chick-lit' books are. The film adaptation is great. The sequel is excellent, although not the film version.
69 Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker--I have this book at school but I think it might be too icky for me.
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett--Childhood classic.
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson--I love Bill Bryson, but I don't think this is his best book.
75 Ulysses - James Joyce--Never gonna.
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath--Very tragic.
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola--Never heard of this one, but I read most of Nana in college, and I visited his grave in Paris. Does that count?
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker--I think this one has also been on my list for years and years.
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert--I bought this one years ago and still haven't read it.
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte's Web - EB White--Surprisingly, I never read this childhood classic, I think because I heard it's really sad.
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom--Blah. Too overhyped.
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle--Have it, didn't read it. Maybe someday I will.
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad--The horror! The over-symbolism!
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery--Surprisingly haven't read this one either.
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl--Truthfully, I can't remember if I've read this one all the way through or just seen the movies. I was in the play too. But again, I don't think this is his best book. A couple years ago I reread The BFG, and that was just utterly delightful.
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo--I read parts for a class while in Paris, does that count? :)

I did it.

I said no!

Many wonderful people helped me think through the situation and helped me believe that the ideas and thoughts rumbling around my mind were right on track.

So I am putting it out there--I WILL keep looking for That Perfect Job, and something great WILL come along for me.

If I need to, I can stay at my school and find new ways to thrive and grow. I WILL (try to) stay positive.

Go Away, Janus

I feel like I'm losing my mind with these decisions I have to make.

I could go work for a small school in Brooklyn. I don't have good vibes about it. I don't want to work there.
BUT!
Maybe something new would be good for me. Maybe I would make some new friends. It's the same grade and subject, so I would be comfortable while also getting a new perspective. I could finally move in with my BF.
BUT I don't really trust the principal.

So maybe I should stay at my school. I have an fantastic, inspirational EL@ AP who believes in me, and there are some fantastic people in my department. I could reconfigure and tweak my teaching, try some new things (yay workshops), try to be an even better teacher.
BUT!
I don't trust the principal. Nobody knows what the schedules or programs will be like. There's one person in my grade dept that I CANNOT stand. They're splitting up me and the colleague that have been teaching the same kids for the last four years. Ms Math has been a rock for me--we talk all the time, compare stories about students, laugh about stupid shit, vent about admin nonsense. She is a fantastic teacher. Next year they'll have me with a different teacher, who is nice enough but it just won't be the same. I'd miss my kids. I was looking forward to seeing them in the halls and such.

I can only convince myself of one or the other for about five seconds before my internal debate kicks in (that's the two-headed Janus reference, btw). I literally cannot decide between these options. Or, more precisely, I've made one decision, but I'm scared to eliminate a choice. Wouldn't that be a bad thing, to say no to the one and only new option I have?

Ideally, of course, there would be a third option, one I would be excited about, one that I would be looking forward to. And I'm still applying to some exciting jobs, but as the last six months have taught me, I cannot count on anything actually being offered. It's really hard to stay positive at this point, because I am clearly INSANE.

still a teacher blog, i guess

I would love your help!

The Tate Modern is doing an exhibit that will turn into a book, called Street or Studio. Photographers may submit two photographs for consideration. As you know, I love me some photos, and I've been practicing candids and portraits lately. I narrowed down my favorites to these eleven, but as you also probably know, I hate making decisions. So I ask you--please vote and tell me which ones you think are the best! 1. Boy in fountain
2. cigarette man
3. splash
4. naptime
5. metaphoto
6. fandancer
7. brimmed
8. pink dress
9. bethesda terrace
10. docktime
11. windowshop


Thank you all so much!

Workshop Thoughts

Our presenters used many of the strategies that teachers use, and some of them work with adults and some do not. Because really, if you have ever spent time with a large group of teachers you will know that they can be much more obnoxious than the students!

Our first activity was a 'getting to know you' group activity. We had a piece of chart paper and split it into fourths. In each square the group members put information about ourselves--names, things we had in common, unique things about each of us, and the expectations from the workshop. Then, each table shared their chart, and the rest of the class tried to guess which person went with which unique thing. This would definitely be a great activity with students, easily adaptable to any classroom and any situation. That basic format would work very well in September, but someone pointed out that it would also work really well at the beginning of a new unit, to assess their knowledge, share their favorites, etc.

One thing that did not work this time was a jigsaw. For those of you unaware of eduspeak, that means taking a text or task and breaking it up into smaller pieces. Each group is responsible for one piece and then they usually report out to the entire class.

The facilitators had us to a jigsaw with an academic article about some study that was done about adolescent readers, engagement, achievement, etc. It was a pretty interesting article, but we were all a little frustrated with reading it with no framework. My group had the last two pages, so it referenced all these things that we didn't know, and we didn't really even understand the purpose of the article.

So my self-declaration from this experience was that if you want to do a jigsaw with real students, it needs to make sense for every group. So I think that taking one big text and splitting it is not the best idea; rather, take several short, discrete related texts and have the students read and analyze those. That way you can avoid frustration on all sides.

The paper itself, like all education research, had a couple interesting nuggets as well as plenty of 'duh's. For example: Time for reading is not sufficient; it's vital to actually comprehend what is read. Boys 'underperform' and engage less in reading than girls. Boys are better with 'noncontinuous text'-yet another silly eduspeak term for things like comics, magazines, online stuff. Teachers should give boys the opportunity to read and interact with computers. (Because, naturally, the nicey nice girls don't need exposure to technology, since they're so weak and too unintelligent to need to use computers. Durr.)

At the end of the article, they suggested three strategies to...redo? improve? reading achievement and engagement: a full and varied range of texts, both print and electronic; plenty of library programs to support reading; and instruction in strategies for reading and self-monitoring for comprehension.

Once again, duh. I mean, come on. Is it any surprise that kids, or anyone really, need a lot of different books to choose from? Our question was from whence these texts would magically appear. My school certainly doesn't buy classroom library books. When a teacher starts at my school, there's a small, low-quality group of books. Not too many teachers seem keen on developing them--mostly because new books have to come from somewhere, either our own shelves or our own pockets. I've bought some books at sales, on ebay, and I've gotten a TON of free books from Scholastic. (If you're not using them, you are missing out. FREE BOOKS.) But in an effective schoo, those should be emergency backup rather than primary building of a library.

And just for the record, I did get some good clarification about reading strategies instruction this week, but! Not once did anyone mention actual reading instruction. If a child reads on a third-grade level in sixth grade, sure, they can try to read books on their level and attempt to use the comprehension strategies. But from what I've seen, kids still don't understand what they're reading, even if it is low level. You know why? Because they don't know HOW TO READ well enough! They need phonics, and they desperately need vocabulary work. Reading third-grade books will certainly not improve a child's vocabulary if they're twelve years old. With shared on-level reading, they're still confused. There HAS to be something for these kids--no wonder they have such abysmal scores in this city. All the students who can barely read scrape by with 2s on tests (AHEMINFLATEDSCORINGAHEM) and get passed right along to the next grade. The extra services in my school, when they're there, have had no effect on actual reading level in my experience. Of course, we don't actually have a reading program in my school, because god forbid anyone be responsible for, you know, TEACHING them something they need.

Ahem.

I have more thoughts and resources to share in the coming days, so look for that.

Summer Week

So this week I kept very busy, got some great news, and some bad news.

The busy part was doing a four-day workshop. (See what a dedicated educator I am? Using my "free time" to professionally develop myself? Getting up early when I don't have to??) Parts were interesting, the resources we got were awesome, and parts were just plain silly. Par for the course for these things.

Oh, and there was ranting, too. One woman marched up to our facilitator--who was only in charge of our classroom, nothing else--and screeched, "I will not stand for this! I must have breakfast! There is no coffee, no tea, nothing! I must eat in the morning!" and so on and so on. The ten of us who, DUH, thought ahead and brought our own stuff, just sat there, quietly eating our snacks and sipping our beverages. What a spoiled brat.

I have lots of things I want to write about--in fact, on the first day of the workshop, I actually made a list of topics to post about from the last couple weeks, but right now I'm tired.

So, the bad news, the very depressing news, is, of course, on the job front. A few weeks ago, I got a very random job lead. It was for a charter school that I love, for a different grade and, more scarily, a different subject. But I didn't care. It was a little intimidating to think about going so far out of my comfort zone, but I was excited to tackle something new. I cared more about the atmosphere of the school itself--being in a professional, high-standard place, where everyone is on the same page, motivated, with plenty of school-wide procedures and routines. I really wanted to work there. I knew that I wanted to work at this school back in November, when I visited it on an open house. So I was thrilled about the opportunity.

I interviewed, I thought it went well, and then I got rejected.

I was really upset about it. Sad, dejected, depressed, blue, and more than that. This rejection feels magnified a hundred fold coming on top of nearly six months of active job searching and that many rejections, magnified because this felt like a last chance, a last grab for positive change in my life, something to actually look forward to in the fall.

I'm currently looking at two options, neither of which make me happy or excited.

There will be plenty more on that later.

But. For now, let's end with some good news, eh?

Y'all should know by now that I'm just a leetle in love with photography. I take pictures every single day (mostly of myself for my 365 project, but I take zillions whenever I go somewhere. As you know, because I've got as many pictures on this silly blog as written posts. And there are more of them to come. [pictures, I mean.][although I really do want to do more writing and reflecting here too. but that takes both time and effort.]), and I have this gorgeous new camera that I love (even though oh my GOD do I want/need a faster lens...I hope I can make it to November to make it a birthday gift...). Lately I've been practicing portrait and candid photos, which are a lot of fun, and I've gotten some good shots, I think.

So anyway, I am going to now be part of a nonprofit organization, taking pictures for them as an unpaid intern! Well, I hope I will be, of course, the first gigs are next week, so think happy snappy thoughts for me. :D

That is very good news indeed, as it moves me that much closer to my very faraway dream of being able to take photos as a job.

Pictures from Last Week

I feel old.

The other day we happened upon a rerun of the gymnastics Olympics trials. I recognized not a single competitor, but I did recognize one girl's coach/dad as a famous Soviet (male) gymnast from the 80s and 90s. Then someone's score came up and it was 15 something! Fifteen! What the hell? Why do they have to change everything? What was wrong with the scoring system that's been in place for the last fifty years?! You don't suddenly see baseball making home runs worth two points or something crazy! Argh.

I watched a shitload of stand up on Comedy Central from the weekend. I recognized one guy's name, and though he didn't really look familiar I looked him up. Sure enough, he went to the same high school I did, and I'm pretty sure he was the long-haired silent kid who was after me on the school bus route. Crazy.

This afternoon I just noticed another white hair---IN MY EYEBROWS.

Oy.

Another field trip!

Yesterday I went down to lower Manhattan. I stopped by the Fulton Street Strand and bought six books for eighteen bucks. Then I continued on to the South Street Seaport to hang out and look at the Waterfalls. I took lots of pictures of the bridge, and the boats, and the people around me. I noticed a sign on one of the yellow boats--free water taxi ride to the new Brooklyn IKEA. I figured, hey, why not?

It was a gorgeous day--the weather was divine! The ride from Pier 11 to Red Hook (?) didn't take too long, and you can go up on top to enjoy the views. I even bought a couple little things at IKEA, like some cheap slippers and a magazine rack. I took tons of pictures from the boat (more later!) and was thoroughly pleased with my little trip.

Uh oh

I woke up with a start around 8am today, and bolted to my piles of classroom stuff.

Oh no!

I left my bin of school supplies in my classroom!

Then I tried frantically to remember what was in there. I hoard things so I haven't had to refill it much over the last three years. Post its, overhead pens, scotch tape, who knows what else.

This is really going to bother me. Should I just forget it and leave the bin as a surprise gift for the next teacher? Should I try to go in and retrieve it? Hopefully when submitting a letter of resignation? Have a friendly colleague take some choice items for me and leave the rest?

Then I started thinking about my classroom and a stranger opening up that bin to find so many teacher treasures. What will become of my legacy? I imagine kids coming to visit me next year, asking and looking for me, and some cranky stranger will be all, "I don't know who that is. Now leave us alone!" Will the kids remember me? Will my colleagues care? What will that stranger think of my room? Will they appreciate the library that's still decent even without all the books I built it up with (you can bet your butt I have all those here with me)? Will they know how to spell?

Or will all this be moot because I'll be right back there again?

Or will it be moot because the kids won't care? (haha, no, I think this crop of kids would definitely care. And I definitely care about them, I still want to find a way to check in on them somehow, even if I'm gone.)

I really hope I won't be back there to find out. In a way it makes me really sad and scared to close that chapter of my life. It's the only thing I've known for the last four years. It's what's kept me in New York for two years (soon to be three?) beyond my original commitment. It's made me a few friends and it's also made me even more intolerable of lazy, nonteaching, so-called professionals who can't use proper grammar and spelling. It's made me realize that I don't want to be in charge of other grown-ups, because grown-ups are often more immature than kids are, and you can't yell at or admonish adults (without serious attitude and consequences, at least). It's made me really appreciate the schedule and freedom to travel.

You can bet this will haunt my dreams for the summer. I only wish I was being overdramatic.

Grown Up Field Trip to the Bronx Zoo!

The Year in Post Mortem

Wow, I'm still having trouble believing that the school year is over. I'm also having trouble realizing that it actually happened.

The last day was short and sweet, and sweaty too. I had some time to play with the kids (old board games) and take pictures. Most of them gave me hugs when they left. I was surprised that I didn't cry. I think it all happened so fast that I was too overwhelmed to fully process it. I was in shock that it was the end; despite the countdowns and the fervent wishes, it all came so fast. It didn't seem real.

This was a really interesting year. Let us review.

The year started with record low student numbers. I absolutely loved having eighteen to twenty students in the room--it was a quieter, more intimate educational experience.

I came to love (what?) each of my classes for different reasons. The Grey Bunnies were so quiet and easygoing. The Tame Roos were a little wild, but sweet and never dull. The Herd was huge but full of interesting personalities.

For the first year ever, I didn't have a serious discipline/crazy parent problem. There were a couple kids who tried my patience, but they weren't intentionally malicious or cruel. Just run of the mill pain in the ass. :) I really worked the Staredown this year! But on their own, sweet enough kids.

For the first time ever, I realized that I had a good time in the classroom. I enjoyed myself teaching the kiddies. There were plenty of days that I was tired and cranky and irritable, but overall, it was fun. Fun!

Perhaps I can say that because the kids were the only good thing about this year. With the changes in administration, and the lack of organization, communication, and respect for the teachers and our time, no wonder I wanted to sequester myself behind a closed classroom door.

That said, I made a couple new friends this year. September was not a happy time for me, starting a new year with my three closest school friends gone (two out of state, one out of county). I hope that wherever I end up in the fall, I can keep up some communication with these folks that can always make me laugh.

I realized anew how much I love field trips. Even when they don't go well. And to be honest, if they don't go well, it's because someone else organized it. ;) I so enjoy exploring new places alongside my students, watching them have a good time learning. It's also the best time for me to be more Normal Person than Strict Teacher, to build a rapport with the kids.

Apparently, not only have I been a lawyer, I've also been in the military, according to my students. I find both of these to be high compliments.

This year was my best in terms of t#st pr#paration. During our practice in class, the after scores improved for every single student. However, although I haven't analyzed my resulting scores yet, of course there were plenty of 2s. Disappointing.

I have collected a lot of teacher shit in the last four years. And it's all sitting in my hallway right now.

I'm really scared about next year, making a change, deciding on my own future. It makes me nervous to jump out into the unknown. I've done that a couple times in the last decade, but those times I actually wanted to, was ready to. At this point, I'm *mostly* sure that I want to. But the logistics and money have made things too complicated. Stupid adulthood.

This weekend I got a lead that I am really excited about, very hopeful for. I shan't jinx it at this time, but I'm trying to think positive, employable thoughts. :)

Happy First Vacation Monday, all!

I laughed so much I cried.

An excellent Friday!

I must have said, "What day is this again?" twenty times this past week. It was long and confusing and irritating.

BUT! Friday was short and fun, a perfect way to end the week, a perfect way to spend the last Friday of the school year.

First, in the morning, I was in the hallway and thought I recognized someone's back. Sure enough, she turned and it was my friend N! She moved to Texas last summer, which was sad because she was the best friend that I had in school. We had a couple minutes to chat and catch up. She's doing really well and loving Texas life. It was so good seeing her again!

And did I mention that my other friend N was in town earlier this week? She moved to NOLA last summer, to work at a charter school that was even more corrupt and messed up than our school. Now she's happily engaged and moving to Florida!

The bulk of the day on Friday was a field trip that Ms Math and I frantically tried to coordinate on Wednesday. We took one class, the 'best' class (the Herd) to a local zoo. Only two thirds of the class actually showed up, so it was a nice small group of the nicest kids. There were a bunch of other kids from our school too, but everyone did quite well in terms of behavior.

The kids had a great time looking at the animals, taking pictures, running around, just being kids. The animals (though they seemed quite lonely to me) were interesting to see (alligator! coyote! sea lions! etc). I took over six hundred pictures, so you know I was happy. :) The weather was perfect--it was nearly hot but there was plenty of shade to keep us cool. The bus ride was easy, quick, and no one got lost.

It was really the ideal trip!

sweet!

I bought some brand new books at the local 99cent store! Not crappy generic books either--the two sequels of The City of Ember!

I worked out again today--I'm on a hot streak of working out every other day and I feel great. If I were not so lazy I'd do even more.

I have two interviews this week--think happy employable thoughts for me. :)

SEVEN DAYS OF SCHOOL.

The weather was perfect today.

That was mostly the only positive thing with today's field trip. Most of the kids had a good time once the activities began, too.

That's all I'm going to say, because the rest is not so nice. If you've ever spent time in a New York City public school, you can fill in the details. In fact, let's play Name That Mess-Up! Leave a comment with one of the things that always goes wrong on your trips.

But now I have to change direction in this post. So beware.

Like last May and June, I've been having trouble sleeping this spring. Either can't make my brain shut up to fall asleep, or can't make my brain stay shut up to stay asleep. So I've been using some Ambien to help me stay more rested and sane. Because sanity is a big help when faced with preteens all day.

Two nights ago, I felt tired and figured I wouldn't need to take anything. And of course, my brain rattled on about school and all kinds of other stressful things until at least 3.30am. So last night I didn't want to take any chances and swallowed a friendly pill around 10pm.

Well, I stayed up, flickring, and I happened upon a mosaic of pictures. And I swear to god, the pictures were moving. Both when I was looking at them and while I was looking not quite at them. There was a flower picture (I had to check just now to see if this really happened, but look, here it is! I swear to god, the petals were nodding and waving in the wind. I SWEAR IT. I kept staring at it, watching it ripple over and over again. It was the coolest, trippiest thing.

Except now it seems like some kind of dream, like I must have imagined it. But there's the link; I faved it to tell my future self that it was real. Add I swear to you, it was!

This isn't the first time this happened; remember when I took one and watched American Idol, and I could have sworn it was twins auditions, and there were six judges instead of three?

Man, I bet the 60s were fun.

A two-hour mile

After a stupid, stupid afternoon at school (GOD.), I was glad to get home and de-stress.

I grabbed my camera and library books and headed outside. I took a slow, wide loop around my neighborhood to run errands. The sun was out, it was very warm, but not humid; perfect in the shade. Brandi Carlile played on my iPod, and I took pictures of plants, fences, walls and birds. After the post office and drugstore, I dawdled in the library and got stuck behind the slowest four people of all time. My last stop was getting my eyebrows done (that damn rogue white hair reared its ugly head this week). After my two-hour stroll, I felt relaxed and happy to be productive.

It was a truly lovely afternoon.

I had convinced myself a few months ago that I really did not need or deserve a DSLR. My Sony took really nice photos and had an excellent zoom. And I only bought it last May, for a lot of money. It had manual settings and I was practicing using them, finally.

So I felt extra 'bad' that my boyfriend bought me the Nikon. Would it really make a difference? Would I use the things that make a DSLR different than my big point and shoot?

Well, on my walk today, I turned my camera to manual mode AND manual focus. And the things this camera can do are indeed much better and more sophisticated than my Sony. I mean, duh, but my point is that I'm actually *using* those features. I still have to learn and practice with the settings, but they all go much higher/lower than the other one. So I'm trying to feel better about having such an extravagant toy! :)

Hey, Guess What?

1. My admin were great today! The dean was more than glad to take out the girl who threw a pencil that hit another girl in the face, and he'd rounded up two students known for cutting. The AP came in to tell me that a parent had come in to see me, and she briefed me on the parent's concern and then asked when I could meet with her (as opposed to trying to pull me out of class right then and/or while teaching). I really appreciated those things--if those kind of helpful and supportive actions happened every day, our building would be a much better, more secure, more productive and enjoyable place to be. (See? I'm more that willing to praise and celebrate administration. I'm not only full of hate and venom. :D)

2. I forgot a bunch more stuff this morning. First, I discovered the potato that I'd begun heating up two nights before. Then I forgot to brush my teeth (gross, I know). And I forgot my breakfast bar.

3. The weather this morning (around 7.30) was absolutely perfect. And last night the humidity became much less oppressive, so it was much more comfortable to be able to sleep. The fans cooled the air a little, although they didn't actually make the air cool.

4. I worked out! For the first time in either two or three weeks!

5. Last night, after that post, I whipped up a random nonteaching cover letter and applied to a completely random job. I felt so rash and daring; it was exhilarating. (Seriously, how lame am I?)

6. Some of my favorite kids from two years ago came around to get yearbooks signed. Love!

7. All afternoon I kept my air-conditioner running and my lights off. The kids didn't seem to mind at all. One kid, who's very sweet, but lacking in self-control, remarked, "Miss, we're much calmer with the lights off!" I agreed. He said, "We should keep them off all the time!" I said, "Good idea."

8. TWO WEEKS TIL FREEDOM!!

Alarm Bells

Ringing everywhere--in the building, in my head, all over the place.

I
*ding*
don't
*ding*
like
*ding*
this
*ding*
school
*DONG!!*

I.
Want.
A.
New.
Job.
*DING!!*

Seriously, y'all. For the last week I have been looking at ads for completely non-teaching jobs. And it is scary and sad. Would I really leave education altogether? Would I get hired in this shit economy? I have one year-ish of office experience, I've volunteered a lot, I'm an expert filer (those two degrees really come in handy, I tell you). I love taking pictures but I don't know PhotoShop or any other alteration program. I make a mean caramel macchiato. Oh, and I can boss around preteens. Does that qualify me for anything?

Holy Heat Wave, Batman

Shit, it's hot.

Since I don't have air-conditioning (well, the unit that came with the apartment only cools about three feet directly in front of it), it was difficult to sleep very well.

Then I forgot both my hot chocolate and my keys. I haven't forgotten my keys since my second year of teaching. And I've forgotten the cocoa (my daily morning drink) only three or four times, but this was the second time this month. Maybe I can blame the humidity for my forgetfulness? After all, I come from stock that is not well adapted to this weather--not only did I grow up in the temperate Northwest, but my ancesters are all Northern Europeans. This weather is just inhumane!

I do have one good thing to share--my classroom has air-conditioning! No, it's not new or anything, but this is the first time we've needed it. And boy, am I grateful. Actually, even the parts of the school (on the lower floors, anyhow) that aren't air-conditioned weren't too bad. Warm and sticky, sure, but not unbearable. (Of course, I haven't ventured to the upper floors; I'm sure it's a windowed Hades up there.) Walking out of the building this afternoon, after being fairly comfortable inside all day, was like walking into a preheated oven. Ack.

Also, my students are behaving pretty well for me, if fairly lazy recently with homework. I'm very happy and relieved about that. Now, I'm the one to thank for this, of course, since I worked so hard to set up the routines and expectations for my class. And just today I got to practice one of my favorite teacher looks. At the beginning of class, when I see a student not on task, I stare at them. Not glare, no raised eyebrows, just stare right at them, unwavering. Very quickly they shriek, "Miss! Don't look at me like that!!" and bury their heads in shame. Meanwhile, I continue to stare and they jump to getting to work. Hee. Sometimes I can't keep a straight face as long as I need to and the corners of my mouth twitch. Usually other kids see this and start to giggle.

Anyway, I don't really have a point here. It's really hot. We still have about three weeks left of school.

Phew.

1. It's Friday! Always a good thing.

2. It's June! Holy shit!

3. God. THREE MORE WEEKS.

4. My admin just keeps.getting.worse.

5. The Roos (who I wasn't even scheduled to see today [see above re: STUPID]) and the Herd were great today.

6. I 'quizzed' them about quotation stuff on sentence strips and they had a grand old time (more importantly, they're doing a million times better! now that it's been like two or three weeks of warm-up practice. time to move back to S/V and commas and stuff...). I haven't done anything with them for a long time, but sure enough, the kids love using them. If you don't have them, get them for next year.

7. Ooh! I found the Jeopardy review game I created last year, questions, categories, and all! SWEET!!! Seriously, I'm really excited about that. There was no way I was up to redoing it.

8. Now I just have to figure out how to work in all the play stuff plus review and test time. But truthfully, for me the entire month of June is fidgeting and hoping they don't realize I'm just killing time.

9. Although, the Herd totally went with me on the trait analysis of the play today, and they had some deep commentary--I was very impressed! I guess I should make more of an effort with the teaching. Meh.

10. Sorry this post is lame. I've been doing so well with blogging this week. (OMG! That Chick, one of the funniest bloggers ever, commented!! Squee!) I could write about plenty more things about this week, but it would be too specific I think. Suffice to say, school=stupid.

good times

I let two classes read Who's On First this afternoon. The students that I chose from the Roos just nailed it. The tone, inflection, understanding, everything. The whole class giggled and guffawed throughout. It was fantastic and I loved it and them. I was very proud and happy. Also, it had been a year since I'd heard or read it, and I laughed the whole time too. Man, that is some of the most brilliant comedy ever.

(In contrast, the Herd readers were decent but didn't seem to get it enough to read it correctly, and nearly half the class didn't get it; I heard several kids say, "Where was Naturally?" Sigh. But some of them did get it and seemed to like it.)

Yesterday I scheduled myself for two interviews, but I wasn't really paying attention, so I ended up driving to one in a neighboring borough so that I could do the other one by phone while in the car. Both seemed to go fairly well; I think I articulated myself well (which hasn't always been the case; after all, don't they just somehow know how awesome I am?!). So please continue thinking happy thoughts for me. :)

le sigh.

This sentence is a treasure trove of BAD.

CANIDATE(S) MUST BE FAMILER WITH MICROSOFT OFFICE AND ADOBE, WELL ORGANIZED AND PUNTUAL.

--more craigslist wonder

And The Stupid Just Keeps on Coming

This morning, I was going through the warm up with my students. Learn, teach, blah blah schoolcakes.

*knock knock*

I opened the door to students in another class. "Can I help you?"

They hold some papers and scantrons out. "Here's the test."

I blinked at them, totally perplexed. "Huh? What?"

"It's from Miss So and So."

"Uh....I don't get it."

They just kind of stood there, not sure what to do. So I said, "Have her call me or something."

A minute goes by, and another teacher comes to the door. "The class is taking this final today."

Once again, my witty response: "Huh?"

"The whole grade is taking this final right now."

"What? Since when? Why didn't they tell us?"

blah blah blah no answer, no memo, nothing at all.

And oh wait, it gets better.

Next period I'm off, and I mention it to the coach. hey, what's going on with this, our grade heard nothing about it, etc etc. She didn't really know about it either but recalls something. She finds an old memo on the table. It's dated the 22nd and addressed to only the teachers in that content area.

Wait, there's more!

Later on I find the AP and basically confront her that we were all blindsided. She tried to come back with the fact that the kids knew. I said, "But *we* didn't. I had a lesson plan, I was doing something!"

She had the sense to look a little chagrined and halfheartedly apologized, but THEN says, "Oh, it was up to those content teachers to tell the others."

Next time she or anyone else pulls this shit, I'm just gonna tell them, "Hey, DO YOUR JOB." I'm so done with it all.

I swear to god, I'm gonna lose it one of these days. Start cussing, walk out of the building, I don't know what. I cannot take it!

Some of you deal with bullshit way worse than this. And this is what I say to you, to me, to all of us--It is WRONG. It is not okay for us to be treated like this. Something needs to be done. I don't know what, I don't know how, but we shouldn't take it anymore!

Link love

Tell everyone (again) not to buy bottles of water, for pete's sake! (Passing on the link, thanks Nancy!)

-----

Not that I'm not guilty of tossing food gone bad--especially produce--but this line just grossed me out. That bold statement (emphasis mine) perfectly captures the selfish, small view of this country and the media.

“The fundamental thing that I’m fighting against is, ‘why should I care? I paid for it,’ ” Mr. Bloom said. “The rising prices are really an answer to that.”

And then you see dozens of ads per day about new snack foods, new prepared foods (cut up celery and carrots in a plastic dish! talk about unnecessary waste!), AND miracle diets. When are we finally going to get it already?

----

What does it mean to be an American?

from a very talented and articulate flickr contact.

I'm sorry to have to say this outright, but

...my principal is officially an idiot.

Last week she ignored or forgot a schedule change that was made months ago, affecting one of our days this month. I thought that was neglectful enough.

But get a load of this!

She wants to put bookshelves on every floor, stocked with books, so the students will have a 'home environment.'

Take a second, think about it.

That is one of the all-time stupidest ideas I have EVER heard.

First of all, has she ever SEEN the freaking hallways in our building? Oh right, she hides herself away in the office (this year's students didn't know who she was for months!). Well, I'll be happy to tell her about the noise, chaos and general unsafe conditions that goes on every.single.passing time. Previously I've actually addressed it in writing to her--and what did she do? Try to pass it off to the AP, who did nothing either. She takes zero responsibility for enforcing any kind of discipline or security.

Secondly, the halls are already littered with trash on a daily basis as well.

Third, that's what the damn classroom libraries are FOR. Duh! No way am I helping supply books for this monumentally absurd, utterly obtuse plan.

Can you imagine if we gave the students fuel for this metaphorical fire? I would wager on a week tops that shelves would be emptied and the hallways covered in torn pages, students covered in bruises from books hurled as bullets.

Jesus criminy, get a clue, lady!

would you...

...want to apply to work with this group?

If you are seeking a rewarding opprotunity that allows professional growth; dont missing this change and apply now.

Spelling counts, people!



--[seen in a craigslist education ad]

someday, a light