unnerving

A couple weeks ago, I dreamt about my teammates. I was meeting up with several of them here, even though in real life none of them live here. They were nice to me and seemed happy enough to see me.

The next night, I had another dream. I drove to some other state to meet Boyfriend's teammates. But for some reason there were two teams. One team was very friendly, but the other one was immediately extremely rude and assholish. I was shocked.

When I woke up I realized that a couple of my teammates have ignored me for years. In real life. Cards, emails, voice mails--all unresponded to and ignored. (I'm talking about things like birthdays and holidays, not everyday stalking or anything, obviously.) It's been five years since AmeriCorps and it's been at least three years--four?--since I've talked to one in particular. This girl was a good friend, too. I really liked and respected her, and we always got along and were friendly. It suddenly hit me that mayhap she hates me. Perhaps I've been being obtuse and obnoxious and blind to the fact that she just cannot stand me.

A week later she commented on a photo on myspace.

I don't know what that means.

In other, happier news, another teammate, one who I was closer to, is moving to the Empire State! Unfortunately, she'll be as far away from NYC as possible while still being in the state. But it's certainly much closer than the southern border state she's from. I'm really excited to see her soon. Plus she's engaged! Yay.