Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Five Weeks To Go

So damn close, and yet so fucking far away...

I woke up at 3.30 with random nose congestion. As the day progressed, my head hurt, I got weak and tired. Mr Principal was all concerned, "Are you alright? You look all flushed." I was like, "I'm just so tired...and I felt like I was gonna pass out all eighth period..." He asked if I had eaten much, and I was like, not really... What was awesome is that CuteTeacher had just come outside also, and Mr Principal goes, "[CuteTeacher], make sure Ms C makes it back upstairs alright." And CuteTeacher goes, "I'll take care of her." Swoon! Really, he is so damn cute. It kills me. I have such a crush on him.

Last week, a girl from Class B came in before school started, to hand in a paper. She asked shyly (this is a very outspoken girl, so I thought it was pretty cute) if I needed help. I know that the kids love helping out, so I let her straighten desks and help me cut some chart paper for that day. Out of the blue, she asked, "Are you and [CuteTeacher] [I've got to find a different name for him! I sound like *I'M* the sixth-grader, dammit] best friends?" I was all, "durr, what?" She said, "He always plays us music and gives hints and has us try to guess." I'm sure that I got a little pink at the mention of him, but I was all playing it off.

This afternoon, those two kids were being all assistantish for the beginning of class. I took my hair down, and tried to fluff it out into a semblance of shape. Eager R and Fashionable C (the girl obsessed with clothes and now the strand of my hair that always falls down) were all, "Leave it like that!!" And they were all, oh it looks so good blah blah. And I put my hand on my hip and said, "No one cares what we look like." Meaning, obviously, me. And the other assistant girl pipes up, "The janitor!" and someone else piped up with "[CuteTeacher!]" I pretended not to notice but inside, I was all, ooh! what?! no way!

So yeah, apparently I'm just pretending to be a grown up; I am still twelve. Sheesh.

I felt like ass at the whole end of the day. Like I said before, dizzy and flushed and yech. Yesterday I was really fucking tired all day, but this was that plus more. I ate a bit, I drank orange juice AND some water, but I wasn't even hungry.

I got home and the congestion kept building up. There is even sneezing. Before I got all the way home, I stopped and got a few things, including Airborne. I've already taken two doses, and the last one seems not to have worked. I also did some TheraFlu, which did precisely nothing. Fuck. I can't wait to sleep but I just bet I'll be too stuffed up to be comfortable.

So, with the encouragement of CuteTeacher, and the reassurance from good old Mom, I made the call. I am taking tomorrow off!

I meant to try and schedule a doctor's appointment, for a checkup and stuff, but I didn't. Oh well. I'll sleep and rest and finish up my two things to turn in at class tomorrow night. Definitely can't skip that; it's the second to last one. Grr.

Five weeks. So short and so very long.

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