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You Know You're From Seattle When... |
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You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian You feel guilty throwing an aluminum can in the trash. You use the words "sun break" and know what it means. You know more than 10 words to describe a cup of coffee. You know what a dry cappachino is. You obey all traffic laws EXCEPT "keep right except to pass." You know at least eight people who work for either Microsoft or Boeing. You invite twice as many people as you really want to a party since only half will actually show up. You know what Lutefiske is. You personally know someone from Alaska. You consider floating bridges a pain in the butt, not an engineering marvel. You know how to pronounce "Sequim", "Puyallup" and "Issaquah." You have roots in Oregon, Idaho or Montana, but wanted a high paying job. You've tried to get a job in Alaska, especially a summer job only. You think skiing always means being covered from head to toe, on snow or water. You know at least three Microsoft burnouts, of which two are millionaires. You use more than 5 words to order a cup of coffee. "I want to order an unleaded, double, short, skinny, wet cappuccino with a shot of Amaretto please." A "designer" wardrobe comes from REI, Eddie Bauer, Lands End, and Birkenstock. You consider it a sunny day if the sun is visible at some point of the day. You've been "snow" skiing in the RAIN more than in the snow. When you're discussing rainforests and volcanoes, you're NOT talking about Hawaii. You Remember the Kingdome You have tried to forget about WTO You know how BLUE the skies are here compared to Eastern Washington The guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like Phyllis Diller is really a trans named Eva Destruction that used to play with Hole. Your car insurance costs more because your neighbors don't have any! Your mayor is straight, 1/2 your friends are gay, the man who delivers your mail has a bumper sticker that reads "when they pry it from my cold dead fingers....", and your Burger World drive thru order taker was a computer millionaire last week. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Seattle. |
You know you're a true exbarista when you recognize misspellings of words like "cappuccino."
This was an email that circulated my first years of college (who knows, maybe even before that). They were new and witty then, and they're still a little witty now, especially for me now that I live three thousand miles from Seattle.
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