because if I think too hard about this week it's going to put me over the edge.
Today sucked. Class A was extremely rowdy, loud, talkative, and I'm at my wits' end. I don't know what to do. They don't listen to anything I say, and I'm really going to start losing the good ones soon. It's been four full months already, and there hasn't been much, if any, improvement in that class (excepting the students that have been switched out).
Class B was also rowdy and loud. Also, there was another fight. Thank god, the Dean answered my call, and the AP and other discipline guy also found us quickly. They grabbed out the offenders.
Class C was okay. They got ready really fast at the end of the day, which was cool.
I made sure to sit down with the AP today and tell him that I really need help with Classes A and B. My rules and consequences have no effect on them whatsoever. Notes, calls home, they don't give a shit. It's the same handful (a big handful) in each class, every day, that creates a problem. Anyway, he suggested having a mandatory meeting with the parents of troublesome students, and streamlining the procedures. Still no advice on dealing with in-class disruptions or incidents.
I chatted quickly to the math teacher, and you know what? Class A was in there, quietly doing their work.
Clearly the issue is me and the lack of something in my room. I don't know how to fix it. I really don't know if I can.
I also chatted quickly to the Dean after school, and I told him that last week I was at the point of considering quitting. He was very surprised, and also said that now it's an administration problem. That was nice to hear.
I need help, yo. I feel like I'm letting down the students, because the good kids are really losing their patience. So am I. I keep telling myself that next year has to be better, but how do I get through this year? How do I make a success out of the good kids if I can't ever actually teach them because the "bad" kids won't shut the hell up?
Surprisingly, I haven't cried today. I just feel frustrated and depressed and disappointed in myself. And really fucking tired.